A terrible disaster's unfolding at a remote lake bed in Nevada where some 70,000 seriously rich hippies are trapped in a quagmire of toxic mud. The wealthy tech bro hippies expected a freak fayre of no-holds-barred hedonist fun but all they got was rain, which turned the alkaline dust of Burning Man's famous "Playa" lake bed into a poisonous wasteland.
Festival coordinators have shut down entrances and exits and advised "Burners" to "shelter in place," urging the hippies to conserve food and water. The White House itself has been advised of this impending disaster. Oh dear, plague.
Unafraid, the hippies plan to run naked through the mud tonight on their way to worship a burning man effigy, set up at the center of the desert, now swamp, art commune. Good luck, hippies, alkaline mud, lye, is a caustic agent which burns. Then there's fairy shrimp.
Rumors that Monkeypox, EColi, and Ebola have broken out among the Burners are entirely that, vicious rumors, as are reports that this year's Burning Man is about as successful as Fyre.
LSP
