BURNING MAN CATASTROPHE

 

A terrible disaster's unfolding at a remote lake bed in Nevada where some 70,000 seriously rich hippies are trapped in a quagmire of toxic mud. The wealthy tech bro hippies expected a freak fayre of no-holds-barred hedonist fun but all they got was rain, which turned the alkaline dust of Burning Man's famous "Playa" lake bed into a poisonous wasteland.

Festival coordinators have shut down entrances and exits and advised "Burners" to "shelter in place," urging the hippies to conserve food and water. The White House itself has been advised of this impending disaster. Oh dear, plague.

Unafraid, the hippies plan to run naked through the mud tonight on their way to worship a burning man effigy, set up at the center of the desert, now swamp, art commune. Good luck, hippies, alkaline mud, lye, is a caustic agent which burns. Then there's fairy shrimp.

Rumors that Monkeypox, EColi, and Ebola have broken out among the Burners are entirely that, vicious rumors, as are reports that this year's Burning Man is about as successful as Fyre.

Cheers,

LSP

Hippies Build Wall Trash Land

 

Hippies love open borders because peace and love not raysism, which is why they built this mega fortress wall at this year's Glastonbury freak fayre. Have a look, it's got a watchtower and everything:

President Trump would be proud! Hippies also love the environment, they're very green, which is why they leave the land like this:

Message to market? What a gang of malfeasants, but maybe the wall and watchtower are a good thing. Contain them. In fact, why not build a wall around Austin, just a thought.

Tickets for this year's Glastonbury Festival came in at a whopping £340 and you may have missed out on the UK's June hippie throw down, but not to worry. Burning Man's coming up, September 4, and tickets are only $667.

Never trust a hippy,

LSP

Are You A Burner?

 

Burning Man's coming up, punters, in just a few weeks. So we have to ask, what sort of Burner would you be? OK, I know only a few of us could begin to afford the huge cost of this elite hippy desert extravaganza or even want to go, but say you could.

Perhaps you would be a Flying Circus hippy.

A Running Swine hippy?

Maybe a Space Reich hippy by a dying tree.

Or just a simple Dome Head.

Then there's always the cowboy option.

down to earth, what?

Here at the Compound we like the cowboy track, allied with Safari Expedition: Tents, rifles, Pimms, Coronation Chicken et al. Then, when the wealthy zombified art hippies are shuffling to the denouement of their freak fayre, a giant burning man, we drop the boom. Recollected readers will remember the film.

Be careful out there,

LSP

Hippies - Is There Hope?

 

Hippies, typically filthy, unwashed, misguided and now trans blasphemous parodies of men and women. Yes indeed, but is there hope for these misguided denizens of Austin, San Francisco and Portland? Perhaps, and here at the Compound we've worked with Beans to suggest a template.

Lure them to a pop festival, a "freak fayre" if you like. Secure the perimeter, set up in force with tents, safari rifles and all of that. Next step? Drop the boom, I won't go into detail. And then?

hippie

Issue the wretched hippies with fatigues and boots, shave their hair, start remedial PT, get that drill going (they don't get real rifles at this point, obvs), issue ironing boards and starch. And carry on, all conducted by LL, the RHSM (Regimental Horse Sergeant Major) who's taken over the SOUND STAGE, with its mighty amplification.

Hear it, punters, "By the left... QUICK MARCH!" And watch them move like clockwork across the desert expanse. Think yourselves lucky, hippies. And what can we say, problem? Solution. Yes, there is hope.

Peace And Unity,

LSP

Would You Go To A Pop Festival?

 

when there's no more room in hell the dead shall walk the earth

The phone rang, "Hey, gotta minute?" Yes, it was Canada and I replied, "Sure, but only a minute or two because I have to drive out to the lake and say Mass. That's if I don't melt first, the cab's maybe 120*." 

Typical DLC Campaign Tent

My Northern cohort thought about this for a moment, "That's hideous. Turn on the engine and AC, have a smoke and let it cool down, try that." I did, and Alberta continued, "Here's what's happening, the kids are going to Shambhala, it's like Burning Man but maybe worse, so I'm babysitting." 

Some of the boys

The cab cooled and I replied, "You'd have to pay me a whole lotta cash to go to a place like that." Yes, of course, and now it's over to you, the reader. 

Coronation Chicken please, and Pimms

Would you go to a pop festival and if so, how? Here at DLC (Dallas Light Cavalry) HQ we feel it'd have to involve a small fleet of flatbeds, a powerful sound system  playing uplifting Imperial music, Curzon style, and several tents, to say nothing of staff. 

But that's us. As ever, your call,

LSP

The Gender Construct

In the bad old days of biological fascism people were indoctrinated into thinking their gender was a given, something dictated by the body they were born with. "Two XX chromosomes?" said the gender Nazis, "You're a woman!" So intolerant, now we know biology and gender are two very different things. 

Yes, you may well be born with the body of a woman or a man, such are the sexes, but don't let this trample like some kind of jack-booted Brownshirt all over your identity. That's something for you to decide, because gender's fluid and flexible.

That's right, a construct, a complex matrix of societal, mental and emotional forces which play together to create you, the gendered self. Biology may say one thing, but who you are is entirely up to you. At last we've found liberation in the transhumanist phase of the liberal project, a true triumph of the will.

Leaving aside uncomfortable NSDAP irony, and with apologies to Leni, here at the Compound we have to ask. If gender's a construct, divorced from the tyranny of the body, why is it that transsexuals spend so much money getting their body changed. Seriously, if biology and gender are unrelated, why spend all that cash to mess with your body? 

Why? Because everyone knows in reality that gender's determined by flesh and blood. Per GaGa, you were born that way, and we get it despite all the agitprop. It's not difficult, in fact it's readily apparent to the senses. Look, there's a woman, there's a man and... then there's that, some kind of hybrid. You can see it.

So, the unfortunate woman that wants to be a man or the sad man that wants to be a woman invests heavily in chemicals and scalpel to make it appear so. And what an appearance it mostly is, blasphemous Frankenstein parodies of the two sexes.

But my question is this. Why are we allowing our children to be abused by this self-evidently dysfunctional, sorry, dysphoric, illness? OK, perhaps that's too mild, let's call it as it is, Satanic degeneracy. 

As you doubtless know, Arlington schools have gone full trans. Far-sighted readers will remember Hungary threw the Bolshevik demons off their backs in reaction to Dukacs' program of sex-ed in schools.

Peace and Love,

LSP

Mid Term Blue Wave

The Dems are hoping for a massive win in the midterm elections because they think the nation will support Abolish ICE, a tranny in every bathroom and a crippling weather tax. And, you know, Ocasio Socialism.

Don't fear the Reaper, open borders, mujerista Democrats. I predict a wipeout but that's just me.

Trump 20/20.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Hippies Trash Tribal Land

Freeloading bands of thieving hippies are wrecking North Dakota, stealing food and trashing once pristine tribal land.

According to DAPL protestor, Alicia Smith,"They are coming in, taking food, clothing etc and occupying space without any desire to participate in camp maintenance and without respect of tribal protocols." 

Thieves

Characteristically, the hippies are "subsisting entirely" off of other people's money and "generosity," noted Smith in a post on social media.

An Indian

Hippies are notorious thieves, whether the feared warrior Sioux will put up with their panhandling antics remains to be seen.

Drill, drill, drill.

LSP

A Regular Sunday

It's hard to think, much less speak, on the back porch over the sound of mad dogs barking and the cacophony of crazed peacocks.

I tell you, it's a wall of sound, and we're not talking Phil Spector. But we are talking scoff.

A Philisophical Friend

That's because my Wittgensteinian ally has tipped up, looking for some country action. Normally he hunts in South East Africa. Tomorrow, we'll be hunting in South East Texas, on a central tip. 

Cook it Up!

And who knows, we might even get something, unlike our Syrian Terrorist Training Program, which failed, dismally.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

We're Riding on Austin

I said to my MC this morning, before Mass, "Mr.******, we're fixing to ride on Austin." He's an outstanding horseman, so I figured he should be in on the action. "That's right," I continued, "And when we've sorted out Austin we'll head West, and take out Burning Man."

Typical Austin Street Scene

"Then San Francisco."

"But why San Francisco?" asked a nervous church person. 

"Because it's a hippy capital. Of the world."

Get a Haircut LSP

By the time our flying column moves out of Austin, I predict we'll be at Brigade strength.

A Couple of Monkeyheads at Burning Man

That might be needed.

LSP

Look, A Sign!

A member of Team LSP just sent this in, from somewhere in East Texas. Here's another Texan picture, from Hubbard in 1908.

Slap Out

Hubbard used to be called Slap Out in the 1860s but was re-branded after a former Governor in the 1880s. Slap Out has 1,589 citizens as of the last census.

Burning Man

In other news, Big Tex has burnt to a crisp.

Somehow that seems relevant to me.

All for Texas.

LSP

The Debt

Our debt's now over 16 Trillion Dollars and who knows, maybe if we keep on spending more money we'll owe less money, in the same way that more taxes will make everybody richer.

burning man nonsense

Good luck with that.

Learn to ride and shoot, if you haven't already. 

That's my advice.

LSP