Showing posts with label thieving hippies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thieving hippies. Show all posts

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Summer Solstice

Thanks to a noted member of the intelligence community we all know it's the Summer Solstice. How very beautiful.

It seems innocent.

But is it?

Better mind your wallets.

Hippies are thieves.

Harambe weeps,


Friday, June 23, 2017

California Bans Travel To Texas!

California has banned its civil servants from state-funded travel to Texas because the Lone Star State "discriminates."

Such tragedy. Who knows, perhaps the Rainbow State will ban all its citizens from visiting Texas.

Shoot straight,


Monday, December 5, 2016

On Patrol

Everyone has their rituals. For John Podesta, for example, that means occult ritual magicke, Satan style, but here at the Compound we choose a different path.

Get up early, put the kettle on and make tea as you answer texts from Putin while scanning for intruders coming through the morning mist. Comms with Vlad closed and perimeter secure, take Blue Fighting Patrol for a walk to the local pick 'n steal and get some coffee.

Sometimes Blue Unmentionable "marks" 1st Baptist and 1st Methodist, sometimes he doesn't. That's up to him, there's no "rule."

Then it's back to base in time for Morning Prayer and none of your newfangled rubbish either, 1928 BCP and thank you very much for a usable psalter. If I was a Roman Catholic it'd be Latin, but that's another story.

A Pair of Thieves

So there you have it, readers, all three of you. The morning ritual. In other news, sources in the Intelligence Community say that the Standing Rock Sioux are fixing to scalp the migrant gangs of hippies that are defiling heir sacred lands. And who can blame them?

Gun rights,


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Burning Man Freak Fair Infested By Bugs. Shocka.

This year's Burning Man hippy throw-down was infested by bugs. "What!" You cry out in amazement, "A freak fair, infested by bugs!" 

Yeah, that's right, bugs, in the Nevada desert. The hippies brought them there.

Hippies Goofing Off Around a Fire

Hippies are notorious for bad personal hygiene, thieving, hustling, and lying around, out of it, when they're not goofing off around fires or dressing up like Indians.


There's very little water in the Nevada desert, which makes cleanliness difficult. Far out, eh?

Make of that what you will.


Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Texas Passes FFHA

The State of Texas has just passed legislation allowing shop owners to restrict thieves from entering their premises, and angry Austin locals are furious.

"The FFHA puts Texas back in the dark ages," stated one outraged Travis County resident, "It's like the Nazis have taken over, why should I have to use the side door? That's discrimination and it's barbaric."

Governor Greg Abbott signed the Freedom From Hippies Act (FFHA) into law after receiving complaints from shopkeepers and small businesses about hippies stealing merchandise, and driving away customers.

"It's not discrimination, it's just common sense," said Abbott, "Business owners have a right to protect themselves from thieves, and the FFHA guarantees that. This is mostly an Austin problem, but we need statewide protection."

However, major corporations are threatening sanctions against the Lone Star State. Apple CEO, Tim Cook, has announced that the tech giant may stop doing business in Texas, and Facebook is reportedly considering suspending the state's social media accounts.

Governor Abbott remains adamant that the FFHA will remain in place, despite these threats, "The Texas economy is booming and this new Act will help ensure that continues, with or without Tim Cook."

Hippies, use the side door.


Sunday, March 22, 2015

We're Riding on Austin

I said to my MC this morning, before Mass, "Mr.******, we're fixing to ride on Austin." He's an outstanding horseman, so I figured he should be in on the action. "That's right," I continued, "And when we've sorted out Austin we'll head West, and take out Burning Man."

Typical Austin Street Scene

"Then San Francisco."

"But why San Francisco?" asked a nervous church person. 
"Because it's a hippy capital. Of the world."

Get a Haircut LSP

By the time our flying column moves out of Austin, I predict we'll be at Brigade strength.

A Couple of Monkeyheads at Burning Man

That might be needed.


Sunday, January 25, 2015

Thugs v. Hippies, in Austin

If you live in Austin, which is the Capitol of Texas, chances are you're a hippy, or you know one, or both. That's just the way it is in Austin.

Typical Austin Street Scene

Austin, for hippies, is one big adventure playground; but be careful, Hippy. Take a few steps across the line that is I35 and your thieving ways  may not go down too well. Have a look at this video and see if I'm not right.

Hippy Running From Thug

Others are more prosey. Here's Katie Friel, writing for Culture Map Austin.

"It's almost Shakespearean that this fight happened where it did, barely a block east of I-35. This traditional barrier of Austin's white versus black — of 'us' and 'them' — has, in recent years, become the heart of gentrification in Austin. This corner sets the stage for a disturbingly violent act, charged with anger and full of hateful language. And it isn't just the violence that is disturbing, but the way we seemed to perpetuate this violence by sharing it on social media with the same unwavering words: 'thugs' versus 'hippies.'"

Sink Me, the Monkey has it.

Thugs v. Hippies? I'd say that the long-haired layabouts in the video got off rather lightly, and that the Thugs showed uncommon restraint.

Now I'm not a betting man, but I'll wager my fighting monkey against any 5 of your priestesses that the thugs have it, any day of the week.

Fight on,


Lord of the Dance

Churches have to grow, it's a fact, and I'm grateful to Team LSP for coming up with some good suggestions that will help me achieve this goal at the Missions. 


Here's one: "I know this artist who paints as a form of worship, right up at the altar. At the end of the service, she has completed a masterpiece. You should invite her to train them to do altar paintings." Good idea!  

A Praise Band, "Getting it On." Note Dancer.

Here's another one: "We should get drums, fog machines, and hire a barista." I like it, but that's not all.

Oh Yeah.

"You need Liturgical Dance!" I think that goes without saying and I'll get right on it. So thank you, Team, for your help. Well done.

Rumors that Jay Z is some kind of Illuminati shill puppet for the NWO are just that, rumors.

God bless,


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

African Americans Pick Up After Rich White Hippies

Privileged rich white hippies at America's prestigious University of California Berkley have been rioting against racism, leaving African Americans to clean up their mess.

Typical Berkeley Street Scene

For two consecutive nights, roaming gangs of wealthy white hippies have fought running battles with poor mixed race police, trashing the once attractive university town.

In the absence of effective policing, due to rules of engagement which forbid police from using force against their rich white rulers, shop owners have taken to hiring armed private security.

Similar protests have broken out in Chicago, where police have adopted novel psyops tactics against hippy rioters, playing Sweet Home Alabama from unmarked squad cars.

The University of California Berkeley is a well known hippy safe-haven.


Saturday, August 2, 2014

Brandon Texas

I'll be driving off to Windsor/Detroit next week so I thought I should get some practice time at the range. That takes me through Brandon.

Brandon's Post Office

There's not a lot there, some dirt roads, a few houses, an abandoned Presbyterian church, a small Post Office and a Co-Op.

Brandon's Co-Op

Some people are afraid of places like Brandon. Perhaps they should be.

T Posts

I find the Brandonites I know friendly, unlike the Austin leftists who'll rip you off in the maze of a labyrinth and at the drop of a dreadlock.

Shoot, Ride, Fish

Shoot straight,


Saturday, June 21, 2014

Solstice Hippy Witch

June 13 marks the summer solstice and with it the chance for roving gangs of hippies to get together, do a little thieving, goof-off, maybe dance around, get all pagan and trash someone's land. Pretty harmless, right? Like what went on at America's replica Stonehenge today.


According to the Sacramento Bee, 12 hippies managed to get up in time to worship the sun as it rose above Washington State's Columbia Gorge at 5.30 am. Elise Mesnard called the site a "beautiful, meditative area." Another sun worshiper, Egypt Rose, was more proactive. She lit a fire and dropped wax figurines in a cauldron, where they presumably melted.

Just a Few Totally Harmless Wax Figurines

She lit a fire and dropped wax figurines in a cauldron. Well that's as harmless as witchcraft itself, isn't it.

To the best of my knowledge, Egypt Rose is not yet an Episcopal priestess.


Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Solstice in Austin

Some time ago I set LL a challenge; write a short about hippies and Austin, I suggested. "If you can work in the Hog Farm, the Whole Earth Catalogue, and their repellent Clown, I'll be impressed." Sure enough, Solstice in Austin wasn't far behind. Here's an excerpt from this dark tale of counter-cultural criminality and vice:

At times, Carlos forgot why his friend, who published The Whole Earth Catalog, sent him to Texas in the first place because the shit he’d been injecting covered everything with a narcotic haze... At first it seemed like a good idea to escape from the constant pressure of selling the damned book in hippie communes. Now he didn’t seem quite as sure as he had once been—that it would be all right in the end.
The girl, Cindy or Candy, or maybe her name was something different, asked him about their destination. He told her that the Solstice party in Austin could not be missed.
You can read the whole thing here, but be warned, it's a little graphic.

If you meet the Hippy on the road, kill it. Or, if you'd rather, donate your gun to Greenpeace and watch it turn into a rainbow.



Thursday, May 1, 2014

May Day Beltane

I celebrated May Day by driving to Fort Worth for a diocesan clergy day; we celebrated the Feast of St. Philip and St. James, Apostles, with a Solemn High Mass. I like that.

The Usual Hippy Goof-Off

Hippies wouldn't though. They're not down with the Mass on May Day, much less Apostles. They like Beltane instead, and when they're not too busy hustling for spare change and thieving, they sometimes band together and take over town centers.

Horned God

When they get there they usually just goof-off, maybe beat on some drums, dance around a bit, rip-off tourists, the usual. More together crews have a May Queen, a Greene Man and a Horned God, chances are they'll wig out to a fire rave too.

Wicker Man

Perhaps that seems innocent to you. I'll direct your attention to the Wicker Man, and while you're at it, if you have the energy, google Beltane Episcopal Church (TEC). Several stories if you care to write them.

Blessed May Day and Feast of Ss. Philip & James,