California Bans Travel To Texas!

California has banned its civil servants from state-funded travel to Texas because the Lone Star State "discriminates."

Such tragedy. Who knows, perhaps the Rainbow State will ban all its citizens from visiting Texas.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Hunter Kills Rainbow Unicorn Social Media Erupts

Social media has erupted with death threats after a hunter posted pictures of himself on Facebook with "Libbo," a rainbow unicorn which he shot inside the popular Washington DC game preserve, Hubristika.

Libbo, who was widely regarded as the world's favorite unicorn, was shot last week  on a guided hunt in Hubristika, causing Twitter users to react with outrage and repeated calls for the real estate mogul turned hunter to be "killed" and "murdered."

In Portland, Oregon, anguished unicorn lovers took to the streets in protest against the slaying, rioting and looting.

However, as one pundit commented, "Bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah. Nobody cares."

The hunter remains unrepentant and was reportedly offering UK politician and BREXIT architect, Nigel Farage, unicorn steaks in his iconic Golden Tower. "Sometimes you have to cull the herd," he stated, "It's conservation."

Steaks on the grill,

LSP

Munich Jihad

The dust had barely settled from the Nice truck outrage when another Muslim cooked off, this time in Munich, where David Ali Sonboly murdered 9 people and wounded 21 with a Glock 17. The Glock was unlicensed, unlike Islam, which is encouraged in Germany.

Germany

Stay tuned for teddy bears, peace signs and candlelit recitals of John Lennon's greatest hits as ISIS rolls about on the floor laughing. And in case you missed it, Ali was shouting Allahu Akbar as he killed women and children.

There You Go

Allahu Akbar, God is Great. For sure, but what God are we actually talking about? Why, the peaceloving God of the Muslims, of course. That God directed Ali to invite people to his ambush on Facebook.

Herr Chancellor

So go on Germany, invite more Alis and Mohammads into your country and stand in awe as it becomes as peaceful as the Religion of Peace itself. 

Well done, Merkel. You have blood on your hands.

By the beard of the Prophet,

LSP