A Beautiful Rainbow Evensong!

One of the best things about Anglicanism is its big tent inclusivity. On the one hand it has breadth to encompass the harsh calvinist and on the other, the sacramental catholic. Then there's this, from the recent Pride Evensong in Brisbane cathedral. Here's an excerpt:

Rainbow Christ, you embody all the colors of the world. Rainbows serve as bridges between different realms: Heaven and Earth, east and west, queer and non-queer. Inspire us to remember the values expressed in the rainbow flag of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community.

Orange is for sexuality, the fire of spirit. Erotic Christ, you are our Fire, the Word made flesh. Free us from exploitation, and grant us the grace of mutual relationships. With the orange stripe in the rainbow, kindle a fire of passion in us.

Moving, right? But don't worry, there's more. The Dean, Peter Catt, went on to reflect on the Trinity. 

Unsurprisingly, the Trinity, for Catt, is queer because it's not about "binaries," heaven forfend. Here he is, "The Trinity is our Queering principle, that which invites us to defy binaries and labels."

That'll bring 'em in!

Before you throw up in your mouth, remember this. Those who go against the Holy Spirit will be relentlessly destroyed by that same Spirit. The same, by extension, goes for the Holy Trinity.

Some Old Fruit

Well done David Virtue, David Ould and Anglican Ink for bringing in the news.

Your Friend,

LSP

Wolves Slay Unicorns

This one's for a well known member of the strategic defense community and noted irregular cavalryman.

OK, for "London" read Arizona highlands. By the way, White Wolves are the Unicorn's natural predator.

As you were,

LSP

Libs Drive Bishop North From Sheffield

It was like a miracle, an act of divine intervention in the affairs of men. Yes, a man who was opposed to the ordination of women was nominated to become a Diocesan Bishop in the Church of England.

Seriously, a traditional Anglo-Catholic, Philip North, was approved and ready to go as the next Bishop of Sheffield, even though he's against the ordination of women. Remarkable, and a true test of the CofE's commitment to tolerance and inclusion. 

The same tolerance, let the reader understand, which undergirded the small denomination's 2014 decision to allow women to become bishops. This, it was promised, would never prevent a traditionalist from getting one of the church's top jobs. No, from henceforth the Elysian pastures of England's State Church would be home to two integrities, one for and one against womyn priests.

Such a beautiful, irenic vision! You can almost see the unicorns frolic and gambol amidst the rainbows of the declining denomination's polity. And, speaking of rainbows, it was a crock all along.

Advocates of womyn priests were so enraged by North's nomination and caused such an uproar that North felt obliged to withdraw from the position. "It is clear," he stated, "that the level of feeling is such that my arrival would be counter-productive in terms of the mission of the Church in South Yorkshire and that my leadership would not be acceptable to many."

So, while the Church of England remains a place of "mutual flourishing" and respect for all, on paper, in reality it's a rather different thing. A place of flourishing for anyone, as long as they're on board with the great Gospel Mandate that never was, to ordain womyn. 

Good luck, CofE trads. And sorry, Philip, you deserved better.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

It's the Dyslexic Deacon! Sinodd Rocks Wobbly

Yes, he's back and reporting on the venerable but shrinking Church of England and its recent Gendral Sinodd. Over to you, Deacon:

The Chruch of Ingland's Genderal Sinodd has desided not to take nowt of a long-aweighted £360,000 Bishops' Rapport on Homosectuality, Mantrimony, and Status Quo (with reverence to 'Down the dustpipe' 1970, Whatever you want 1979, and Burning bridges 1988).

Sinodd Delgeates

APB Justsin Wobbly, Promate of Ingland's Naglican Chruch, said 'All plobrems are made in the image of God'. He will now aks the Chruch Conmissiomers for £500,000 for a much stronger dysagreement.

The Church of England's Genderal  Sinodd is famous for being unable to affirm that marriage is something that takes place between a man and a woman.

Rumours that Justsin Wobbly's coat of arms now include a rainbow unicorn are presently unconfirmed.

LSP

Munich Jihad

The dust had barely settled from the Nice truck outrage when another Muslim cooked off, this time in Munich, where David Ali Sonboly murdered 9 people and wounded 21 with a Glock 17. The Glock was unlicensed, unlike Islam, which is encouraged in Germany.

Germany

Stay tuned for teddy bears, peace signs and candlelit recitals of John Lennon's greatest hits as ISIS rolls about on the floor laughing. And in case you missed it, Ali was shouting Allahu Akbar as he killed women and children.

There You Go

Allahu Akbar, God is Great. For sure, but what God are we actually talking about? Why, the peaceloving God of the Muslims, of course. That God directed Ali to invite people to his ambush on Facebook.

Herr Chancellor

So go on Germany, invite more Alis and Mohammads into your country and stand in awe as it becomes as peaceful as the Religion of Peace itself. 

Well done, Merkel. You have blood on your hands.

By the beard of the Prophet,

LSP