A massively racist 42 ton rock has been moved from the University of Wisconsin Madison's Chamberlin Hill, where it used to sit, oppressing persyns of color with its racism. According to students, the weighty pre-Cambrian glacial erratic would often hurl racist abuse.
"It was really offensive," stated one student, "Like, 'Look at me, I'm a rock. Who's smarter, me or you? Who's in debt for life on account of a pathetic trans theater degree, me or you?' Sometimes the rock would play Dukes of Hazard and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Once I heard it whistle Dixie. I didn't feel safe."
Unsafe
Here at the Compound we're glad the racist rock's been removed. One more monument to oppression gone, and not before time. Juliana Bennett, a senior and a campus representative on the Madison City Council shows zhir relief:
“This moment is about the students, past and present, that relentlessly advocated for the removal of this racist monument. Now is a moment for all of us BIPOC students to breathe a sigh of relief, to be proud of our endurance, and to begin healing.”
Hmmmm. Same Old Hippie
Well said, Julia. Now that the crushingly racist rock's removed we can all begin to heal, and breathe.
Renowned pop superstar, Neil Young, has shocked millions of fans worldwide by going public with his support of celebrity billionaire, Donald Trump.
Photos of of the jowly pop legend are going viral on the internet, showing what appears to be an inebriated Young wearing a Trump tee shirt and a Christmas hat at the GOP frontrunner's rally in Las Vegas.
When asked about his newfound support for Trump, Young rambled incoherently about wanting to "walk back Southern Man," and "I'm no hypocrite! I just need the cash!"
Nice outfits, guys.
Young is known affectionately by his devoted following as "Old Shakey." Whether his support for the real estate mogul's run for President has tipped polls in Trump's favor is unclear.
Crosby, Stills and Nash have not been photographed at Trump's sell-out rallies.
Privileged rich white hippies at America's prestigious University of California Berkley have been rioting against racism, leaving African Americans to clean up their mess.
Typical Berkeley Street Scene
For two consecutive nights, roaming gangs of wealthy white hippies have fought running battles with poor mixed race police, trashing the once attractive university town.
In the absence of effective policing, due to rules of engagement which forbid police from using force against their rich white rulers, shop owners have taken to hiring armed private security.
Similar protests have broken out in Chicago, where police have adopted novel psyops tactics against hippy rioters, playing Sweet Home Alabama from unmarked squad cars.
The University of California Berkeley is a well known hippy safe-haven.