Showing posts with label overwatch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overwatch. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

You Miserable Offender

 



I could see the miserable offender from the Compound's upstairs windows. There it was, a mutinous AC exhaust spewing water onto the roof, doing its level best to destroy this humble Texan home.




You see, the genius patrol who got rid of the sleeping porch in the 1980s and turned it into a meeting room didn't grade the roof correctly, the pitch is too shallow. This means water collects on the structure's oddly impermanent asphalt shingles, degrading the rubbish decking beneath and before you know it the whole thing's a soggy, rotten mess. Then it collapses. Disaster. 




To play my part in fixing this threat to hearth and home I clambered up on the roof like a mountaineer and, after enjoying the view, advanced to contact. "Look at you, traitor," I thought, looking down at offending PVC article, and then fixed it with a snake, this being a untwisted coat hanger. Take that. And so it did. Now water doesn't flow from miscreant to roof, mission accomplished.




On the way back down to earth I opened up a window which had been painted shut. This will make climbing easier.

Overwatch,

LSP

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Bow Jihad

 



Just when you thought 2021 couldn't get more weird and unhinged, a crazed convert to Islam went full Bow Jihad in Norway, killing five people in downtown Kongsberg last night. Yes, Bow Jihad, the Moslem fanatic killed four women and one man with his bow.

According to Norwegian tabloid Verdens Gang the Mohammedan killer is a 37 year Dane who lived in Norway his "whole life" and hadn't worked since the early 2000s. 




Police are attempting to find a motive for the killings, which couldn't be anything to do with a meteorite worshiping Moon cult because Islam's a religion of peace. Like a desert version of Buddhism but way, way more peaceful.




But how big is the Bow Jihad, how many unemployed Danes are lurking unknown in their koranic lairs, how to id the enemy? Good question. Here at the Compound we advise Norway to set up a series of DrawMo contests, irresistible to the Islamic archer, and then sit back and watch the problem meet its solution. Arrow, meet bullet.

In the meanwhile, stand by for anguished cries of "Islamophobia!" as yet another Moslem proves how peaceful the religion of Mohammad the warlord really is.

Kizmet,

LSP