Sunday, September 3, 2023

BURNING MAN CATASTROPHE

 



A terrible disaster's unfolding at a remote lake bed in Nevada where some 70,000 seriously rich hippies are trapped in a quagmire of toxic mud. The wealthy tech bro hippies expected a freak fayre of no-holds-barred hedonist fun but all they got was rain, which turned the alkaline dust of Burning Man's famous "Playa" lake bed into a poisonous wasteland.




Festival coordinators have shut down entrances and exits and advised "Burners" to "shelter in place," urging the hippies to conserve food and water. The White House itself has been advised of this impending disaster. Oh dear, plague.




Unafraid, the hippies plan to run naked through the mud tonight on their way to worship a burning man effigy, set up at the center of the desert, now swamp, art commune. Good luck, hippies, alkaline mud, lye, is a caustic agent which burns. Then there's fairy shrimp.




Rumors that Monkeypox, EColi, and Ebola have broken out among the Burners are entirely that, vicious rumors, as are reports that this year's Burning Man is about as successful as Fyre.

Cheers,

LSP

14 comments:

Beans said...

How much better would it be if they just stayed there?

Seriously, it was wet weather before it, along with snow flurries and hail. Portents anyone?

RHT447 said...

Portents indeed. Weather app, anyone?

Pro tip: When you're up to you eyes is sh*t, keep your mouth shut.

LL said...

Should we wall them in, LSP?

I realize that it's not a genuinely genuine depiction of hell, but it's good enough. Would the world be better off without. 70,000 rich hippies?

Survey says, "YES!"

Dad of Six said...

Is there some connection between this event and that Christopher Lee movie you discussed several weeks back? Do they roast some guy in a wicker basket?

LindaG said...

Didn't know what burning man was. I think I saw your earlier post? But I don't remember, sorry.
Seems to be a funny sort of karma, perhaps.

You all be safe and God bless.

Wild, wild west said...

Mother Gaia had to destroy the village in order to save it.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Now WSF, contain your evil glee. First, the local gendarmes break up a protester barricade and arresting the protesters. Loved the YouTube clips. Now, the trust fund snots experiencing Woodstock squared.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Lord for this extremely humourous happening in the desert. Or should we thank 'climate change'? Maybe this will make the hippies repent of their wickedness!

LSP said...

As ye reap, Beans, so shall ye sow.

LSP said...

Wisdom, RHT.

LSP said...

Mr. LL, i like this survey.

LSP said...

Linda, don't go near it, sayn.

LSP said...

It's a terrible thing, Wild, but yes.

LSP said...

Anon, we must pay more tax, far more.