Showing posts with label Metrosprawl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Metrosprawl. Show all posts

Friday, February 28, 2020

Don't Fear The Reaper



OK, here it is. Thanks to a commie bioweapons lab in China the entire world's at risk from a weird airborne HIV Kung-Flu. The good news is this.

Don't Fear The Reaper, the virus isn't bubonic plague lethal, but be smart and get in food and water if you haven't already.

Cheers,

LSP

Saturday, March 16, 2019

On The Road



Whoever said life'd be easy? No one, and with that in mind I left the sylvan groves of old Texas for the concrete metrosprawl of the DFW megacity, not once but twice. Why? Because I had meetings in the 'sprawl and duty called.

The first part of the drive on I35W isn't bad, a fairly empty 4 lane highway through rolling farmland, passing by Itasca and Grandview. Then you get to Alvaredo and the pace picks up as you drop into the Fort Worth lowlands.


Metroplex at Night. Yellow Line = Connecticut

There you are in the Metroplex, on a multilane racetrack dreamed up in bowels of Hell. It goes on for miles, 9,286 square miles to be precise, about two thirds the size of Holland and larger than the states of Connecticut and Rhode Island combined. It's growing, too, like a monster.




Well you can't blame people for moving here from socialist hellhole states, but I'd argue you can blame the so-called urban planners who decided that city and 20 lane highway were synonyms. You'd think, after several thousand years of Western civic culture, that we could come up with something better than the 'sprawl. Thank God I live in a road, said no one ever.


It Was Going to be This

Great, readers, will be the fall of it. I know, that'll never happen because the way we live now will go on forever and ever, per saecula saeculorum, but imagine the grid went down, which of course it never will because the grid's immortal, but say for example it did. And you're living in the 'spawl with no water, electricity and before long, food. How would you get out?


But Ended up This

Dirt bikes, on foot? Apocalypse aside, the meetings were good, though it seemed strange to be in the city. Back in the country, Mexican music's in the air and with it the delicious aroma of slow cooked carnitas

This makes fasting difficult and speaking of roads, Jack Kerouac was a catholic.

Drive safe,

LSP

Friday, April 20, 2018

So I Went For A Stroll, Dixie



It's not easy having to look at the face of Lyin' Self-Promotin' Comey, leering out at you from myriad screens. Sometimes you have to escape, and that's what I did, strolling through the spacious boulevards of asset stripped rural Texas.


Albanians Run This Place

The cotton's gone now, mostly, but a lot of the bricks and mortar remain of former wealth, albeit re-purposed, and I like that, it gives a sparseness to things and a feel of the frontier. 


Chip & Joanna?


The Spring air is crisp and clear too, unlike the smog you breathe in the plastic sided monstrosity of the Metrosprawl, and that's a benefit all to itself.


Dixie

You may be surprised to know that this town has no plans for removing its Confederate War memorial, unlike Dallas.

Go on, come and take it,

LSP

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Road Warrior



C'mon kid, let's roll, which roughly translated means, hurry up, we're walking to school with the dogs via the Pick 'n Steal for coffee and I don't want you late.

Soon enough we were over the start line and heading for the Shamrock, staffed by Nepalese, thank you very much and mind the kukri, with Friday gamboling along like a puppy and Blue following at a more sedate pace.




Blue Valhalla's getting on in years and someone's been stealth feeding him when I'm not looking, so he's getting a bit portly. This isn't fair on the furry protector and means I'll have to put a lock on his feed bin or maybe a sign, "DON'T OPEN THIS. IT WILL EXPLODE AND DESTROY YOU."

Coffee, school, and dog walk objectives reached, I relaxed on the front office porch and thought about the effect of various bullets on my YETI mug; a range day's obviously in order. Then, Daily Office said, I drove to Fort Worth down good old I35W.




It's not a bad drive until you get to the metrosprawl, then it's a nightmare. What evil satanic geniuses convinced the American public to live in vast plastic sided suburbs, intersected by highways roaring past decaying strip malls. It's bad enough now, imagine the future.




One day the plastic will sag, decay, and fall, leaving square miles of chipboard houses to quietly implode back to nature while the highways collapse; the sheer slum of it will challenge all but the bravest explorers. Remortgage that, I dare you.




Regardless, I made it to the clergy day at Holy Apostles and very edifying it was too. Bishop Iker gave a good presentation on the state of the litigation against the Diocese and Dr. Stephen Noll talked about marriage. 




After lunch, I headed back to the compound, picked up the kid, drove him to work, drove back to the Compound, drove to Lake Whitney to say Mass and watched a film because it was the church's film night.

We watched the Gospel of John, which is just that, the Gospel of John narrated, with actors doing their thing in the background. I love John's Gospel. Then, kid being delivered to the church, it was time to brave TX-22 and get back to base.




The dogs were excited to see us. The pack was back, and I tell you, several hundred miles worth of driving aside, it all made for a good break from watching WWIII unfold in Syria and the slow moving coup against the President.

I file this exciting story under "road warrior."

God bless,

LSP

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Roving



"It's like Ibiza but, you know, country," I said, dialing up Magic Train of Remove Kebab to maximum volume. It was an Albanian bar in rural Texas and Remove Kebab just seemed right. Everyone agreed. 

"Like this song a lot, 'bout a train with guns. So where you from?"
"From England. I'm a pastor."
"Good to meetcha!"

It turns out we pretty much knew each other thanks to mutual friends and acquaintances, it's a small town; I like that, so much better than living in the plastic-sided splendor of the Metrosprawl. Then, after a quick blast of the perennial classic, Don't Fear The Reaper, I headed for home.




The streets were empty, apart from the occasional cat, slinking across the road and one or two wild dogs. They're a menace and you have to wonder at the genius of the people who abandoned them.




Back at the compound, I reflected on the town and the wisdom of the Baptists and Methodists who helped pioneer it. They cared for people and now their churches are large.

There's a lesson in that.

God bless,

LSP

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Boxing Day MAGA



Have you noticed how much better Christmas was this year, as though a cloud of MillSoc (Millionaire Socialist) oppression had lifted from the land? We certainly did here in the Metrosprawl; no complaints.




The kids, who won't be kids much longer, woke up to stockings that included micro drones and almost fell over themselves with excitement. Thanks, LL, for the inspiration. Then we drove to Dallas to celebrate with the rest of the family.





I got a MAGA ornament to go with the PSG (Presidiential Snow Globe), which was pretty uplifting and some neat unicorn paraphernalia. Be magical, it tells us. Hard not too with America's popular and glamorous First Lady in the White House. Seriously, think of the alternative.





Nasty, right?  Unlike the neat boxing robots I got the kids. Perhaps you remember them from the '70s, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em; who knew these fighting 'bots were still being made. Perhaps they weren't and now they are, thanks to tax reform and putting America first.



'

With that in mind, all the best for the Feast of St. Stephen and as always, MAGA.

Happy Boxing Day,

LSP

Friday, December 22, 2017

All Lit Up And Ready To Go



Dallas HQ looks good, all lit up and ready to go. Saying that, the tree was bought at the last minute and needed some attention. Still, it glitters like Christmas should and its ornaments shine back at you like old friends. Beautiful.




Buying last minute presents in the metrosprawl in near freezing rain was less beautiful but Half Price Books came in handy. You're not allowed to carry a gun in Half Price, leaving you rather less than half safe; fortunately no one was shot by an outraged anti-Christmas Muslim while I was there. 




The Game Stop allowed concealed carry, I think, which is perhaps unwise. Think of all the gun toting parents getting ready to unload on hideously overpriced gaming consoles, the games themselves, controllers, add-ons and the whole nine yards of the very expensive, destructive to young minds gaming industry. Anyway.




Back at the urban compound all was well and the light shineth in darkness. What do I want for Christmas? A good double, a ranch and the unity of Christendom.

Light it up,

LSP

Thursday, February 23, 2017

On The Road



I drove to a suburb of Fort Worth this morning. It took one and a half hours to get there, the worst of which was through the metrosprawl. Someone hasn't told the DFW civic planners that highways running through, across and over a town doesn't make for a pleasant urban environment. Visit Venice and see its famous 6 lane highway bisecting St. Mark's Square! said no tourist brochure ever.




Seriously, after a good few thousand years of Western civilization, you'd think we could do better than turn our cities into roads. Like, what's best to live in, a city or a road? Let's think about that; road, city, city, road, hmmmm... road? 




Road trip over, I ended up at the cathedral, which is a good church, and went to a meeting. A bishop who I like very much was there and had a parrot on his shoulder. It's an aggressive beast and attacks people who try to pet it.




At the end of the meeting I drove back home through the 'sprawl to the countryside. Blue Exertion was there, taking it easy in the sun and I don't blame him. 





Later on today I'll drive to another church and, by the end of it all, feel like a travelling salesman. But hey, all in a good cause.

If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it.

LSP


Thursday, January 26, 2017

Stop Retreating



The Retreat came to an end and it was time to leave the gun free Jesuit Compound and head for Dallas. I won't comment on the spiritual benefits of the retreat, which were great, but I'm forced to reflect on the journey back to the Metrosprawl.


I35E

Those of you who have traveled along I35E towards the gleaming Ozlike towers of the 'sprawl and arrived, unharmed, at your destination have done a remarkable thing. You have gazed upon the face of Hell, and lived.


Hell

Seriously, it was insane driving, a 20+ miles slalom through massive construction at 80 mph. No lane markers, no signalling, just devil take the hindmost and hell for leather. Mad Max springs to mind. But there is a benefit.


Dallas

You get to see a city being built before your very eyes. There's something remarkable about that but please, civic planners, design the city for people not cars. That's what I say and I'm sticking to it.

God bless,

LSP

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Take a Walk!



One of the benefits of living in a small rural farming community is being able to walk places. So what? You snort dismissively. So a lot; just you try and walk somewhere in one of America's metrosprawls. 

"I know," you think to yourself, "I'll walk to the shops." Think again, your city isn't built for walking or even for humans, it's built for cars instead.


The Broken Debris of Obama's America

That's not so true in older country towns, which were designed on a more human scale, and I like to take advantage of that, strolling out to the local Pick 'n Steal with Blue Defender after Morning Prayer. Or, for that matter, to Montes Mexican Diner.


This isn't Cheshire

I went down the latter route the other day, offering up the members of the congregations in prayer as I walked along the leafy boulevards of Olde Texas. 


A Typical Shack

Perhaps that sounds overly pious to you but I find walking and prayer tend to go together. There's something in it that stills the mind.


This isn't Kent

That said, there's plenty of mental space to take in the sights and reflect on the fact that this is Texas, opposed to Kent or even Cheshire. Then you arrive at Montes and everything's good. 


Tradition

I ordered Huevos Rancheros, I always do, it's a tradition.

Was I armed? Maybe.

LSP







Thursday, December 22, 2016

It's a Wrap



Driving to the metrosprawl down the kamikaze Corridor of Fame, I35, is never fun but sometimes you have to do it. For example, perhaps you have to get presents for people, the kind of gifts you can't get at Walmart or the pawns.


NICE

So I took life in my hands, climbed in the rig and drove to Dallas on a quest for gifts. That meant a bookshop.


NOT NICE

North Park mall, insane traffic, a return to HQ and placing the carefully chosen items under the tree. I thought it looked good, Christmas style.


NICE

There also seemed to be a lot of presents this year, far more than usual. Why is that? The answer's obvious, there's a new sheriff in town. More gifts for everyone in...

#TrumpsAmerica

LSP


Wednesday, June 29, 2016

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!



Yes, it's Bushcraft Wednesday and here we are, deep in the bush of the metrosprawl. Just me, Blue Unmentionable and a couple of .45s.


A Couple of Guns

What do two pistols have to do with the art of Bushcraft, you ask yourself, mystified. Simple, if you're charged by a predator out in the bush, you need something to defend yourself and a reliable sidearm can come in handy.


Alien Gear Works

The team favors Glocks and, today, a Beretta. Both great guns but I'd say the Glock has an edge because of its sturdy, workmanlike simplicity. Nothing fancy about that pistol and fewer parts to malfunction or go missing or break. A big asset in the bush.


The Simplicity of Glock

So listen up, bushcrafters. Invest in a reliable sidearm and keep it clean, I recommend the Glock 21. And while you're at it, check out Alien Gear holsters, for inside and outside the waistband carry. They work.


Blue Unmentionable

Here endeth the shameless marketing for Beretta, Glock and Alien Gear.

Your Old Friend,

LSP