Dallas Reflections

 

When you think of Dallas do you think of the ancient TV show featuring JR Ewing? Perhaps, but regardless, one of the things you get to do in LSPland is drive there, down the murder expressway called I35. I did so today, bumper to bumper tailgating crazy at 85/90 mph. Whatev, same old.

Before long you get to the outer reaches of the massive DFW connurb, but keep on, foot on the pedal, and then there it is, rising like a gunmetal OZ, Dallas' skyline. No small thing and especially emerald impressive at night.

Don't be fooled, though. Get in amongst those gleaming glass and steel towers, which rise Babel to the sky, and what do you find? Beggars, indigents, homeless encampments and associated ne'er do wells chancing it in triple digit climate change. We've moved, you see, into SUMMER. It's like this ineluctable climatic progression.

That in mind, take the Illinois exit, head south on Zang past old and new ghetto housing and ride on 'til you hit Davies and Bishops Arts. Marvel at the throngs hanging out at various bars and eateries, wonder at multiple apartment blocks which have sprung up in the last couple of years, and mourn the tragic passing of Ten Bells and Hattie's, two BA stalwarts which went under post COVID.

Oh well. Hang a right opposite the appalling PHD Pourhouse sports bar and into this neat wine shop. Buy a bot and get into a convo with the staff. Like this: 

"Hey, man, I saw you went into here by the door." You pause and reply, "Yeah, that's what I did."

"But why did you do it that way, was there, like, a METHOD?"

"Say again?"

"A method?"

"Sure there was. I walked in the door and spotted some kind of white zin on offer and wanted to look further, that's why I ended up by your fridge and this great bottle of Malbec."

"Wow, man, you sound like Elon Musk!"

"Is that a good thing, brother?"

"Yeah it it is, all good, man."

 

I looked at my tattooed counterparts, what were they, extras for Pirates of the Caribbean?, and gave both boys a sunny hello goodbye. Yeah, they'll be laughing when they're extradited to England. Good luck with that, stoneheads.

Vinter's done, fall back to Ma LSP, who's watching a neat show called, "Why Does Everyone Hate Meghan Markle?" What a good show. Surely not because she's a D-List, simpering, fraudulent, delta minus semi moron, social climber, gold digging Hollywood fool. Surely not, and a witch who ensorcelled Harry with her witch power. He, of course, is obviously an idiot.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Back in Dallas

 

Why? To take down Christmas at Ma LSP's. All those glass ornaments, many like old friends. Down they go, to retrain for next year.

While we're at it, you may remember the Baptism of Christ in the Jordan. Surely it should've been the other way around and the Baptizer says as much, "I should be baptized by you." Jesus was, notoriously, without sin. So how are we to make sense of this fulfillment of "all righteousness." Perhaps this helps.

Our Lord, true God and true Man, like in every way as we are yet without sin, took the sins of humanity on his sinless shoulders upon the Cross in obedience to the Father's will. Here we find an analogue to Christ's baptism, and he says as much, referring to his Passion and Crucifixion later on in the Gospel account, "Are you able to be baptized with the baptism I am to be baptized with?"

Jordan River,

God bless,

LSP

Patrolling

 

The day dawned bright, with the sun torching its way through the hazy air of a Texan July; time to go on patrol. So much better than lying and moaning on a post-op sickbed and after all, movement, we're told, is a sign of life.

The alley cats were out in force. They were on patrol as well, though much of this seemed to be about an ad hoc all round defense. Well, they are irregulars.

The Fuel Stop was up and running too. They've had bullet proof(?) perspex forever, way before the Covid craze brought sheets of see through plastic to our stores. Does the plastic defend against bullets? Perhaps. Does it stop a virus? Maybe as much as the vaccines themselves.

Then it was time to stroll by Cursed House. According to legend, Cursed House used to be a dental office and home to untold horrors, and for a fact it's seen a stream of unfortunate tenants over the last few decades. 

These leave, shrieking, and are mostly never heard from again. It's under new management these days, let's see if the renovation cleanses the place from its wicked spirits. And there you have it. A good morning, well spent.

Cheers,

LSP

We Are Underwater Now

Roaring in the heavens, consternation and turbulence on the face of the waters and distress amongst men. It's a lot like the battle of Jutland, but no, this isn't a famous naval engagement, it's just Dallas in the ferocious grip of a Spring storm.

It started around 3.00 am with the crash of thunder and a mighty deluge of rain, shaking the wooden frame of Ma LSP's urban HQ, and it hasn't stopped. Tornadoes are likely, to say nothing of flood damage as God takes just vengeance on the Demoncrats of Winnetka Heights.

Undaunted, I drove to the nearest pick 'n steal for coffee and a scout 'round the neighborhood. Was there a kind of poetry in the sheer number of faux-mex Beto signs being washed away in the flood into the nearest storm drain? Sure there was, and it's gratifying to see the preposterous fake Mexican going the same way as Abortion Barbie. Remember her? No, neither do we.

Regardless, Blue Kriegsmarine isn't fazed by the storm and somehow manages to keep himself from savaging a large plush pug which rests on guard by the fridge in the kitchen. Strange but true.

In other exciting news, the Army cleverly presented the boy to MEPS with incomplete paperwork, so there's a slight delay. He's with a recruiter now, sorting it out.

Swim on,

LSP

Night Patrol

It being #TrumpsAmerica, it only seemed right to walk off big steaks and go on patrol. That's right, night patrol, with Blue Combat Team. (BCT)

Watch My Tracer!

There weren't any enemies, luckily for them, but there were lots of lights. Good looking neighborhood; not so long ago it was ghetto. That's changed. Watch out for sticker shock, new arrivals.

We RV'd at a wine store, thanks, gentrification, and bought some claret. Good price and it makes a change, being from France and all. Then back to base.

Less Hood, More Vinters

The dollar stores, tattoo parlors and used tire shops have turned into a restaurant, "Bistro," thank you very much, a bookbinder and a children's shop. I'd be surprised if you could come out of the children's shop without paying less than a set of All Terrains.

Light it Up

Price aside, it's a good development. Less ghetto please, more safe, pleasant neighborhoods to walk about in.

A Typical Druid

Was I armed? That's a secret.

Glocks Forever,

LSP

Put Some Lights on The House

"So what do you do, when you go to the big city, so-called 'LSP'?" I hear you asking, with an edge in your voice. Good question, and I'll tell you.

These days, I mostly put up Christmas lights. That means clambering about on the porch roof to get the wreath in position.

Ground level is easier. Just put the lights on the hedge. Simple, and I think they look good. But that's just me.

Have fun getting your place ready for Christmas.

God bless,

LSP

Advent Lights

We've done Hanukkah and it was awesome, but now it's time for some Advent lights. Well, I guess they're the same as Christmas lights that somehow turn on early. But I'm not complaining.

I like to stroll down to the Courthouse, which is all lit up.

Some of the other strollers might be lit up, too.

I take a pistol, just in case. The lights in Dallas are greater, but so is the threat level.

Is that Justin Welby, cruising the pawns?

So there you have it, Advent greetings.

From Texas.

LSP

An Advent Story

As a celebrity pastor, I sometimes have to go to Arlington, Texas. I did that yesterday and visited with a church person whose Mother had died. I took Blue Eschaton along for the ride and dropped him off at Dallas HQ.

Edgehill

He liked that, until I strolled out under the leafy boulevards of Winnetka Heights for a a glass of the right stuff. I was no sooner gone than HQ Coy was calling in, "Your dog is whining and howling!" I hate having to micro-manage but I quick marched back to base to find Blue Crybaby curled up in the back hallway, protecting the door. 

Well, man's best friend and all that, and you may be interested to know he's being fitted with titanium teeth by a canine security professional in California. This doesn't come cheap, but I feel it's worth it.

Dallas HQ

Then today I drove to Home Depot to buy a Christmas tree. The Hispanic woman who trimmed and bagged the tree told me it was a good one.

"I got one of these bad boys," she said, showing me a picture of her tree. "That's a real good tree," I replied. "Yeah it is," she grinned. "Put this in the truck?"

"You bet."

And that's just what we did. Loaded the tree in the truck, right there and then. It'll look good when it's up.

All For Christmas

Puritans hate Christmas and think it's pagan. Their Godless, comsymp, NWO, atheist cousins hate it too, because it's Christian. When Blue Apocalypse has his titanium implants up and running that crew had better watch out.

Blue Howler is snoring. For now.

LSP