April Fools #2

 

Part of the problem with yesterday's popular and influential mind post was that it wasn't long enough, several people said as much. So here's some more.

Remember rich kid, MillSoc, faux-mex Beto? He wants to take over Texas. Uh Huh. His net worth is >$9m, that's why he's a socialist. What a clownshow fraud.

Then there's the Butt Guy, Little Pete. He's in charge of our transportation because he knows so much about it, because so very , very gay.

Speaking of losers, do you remember Abortion Barbie? You know, the one that crawled outta the trailer park onto the cover of Vanity Fair? She was going to take over Texas too.

But don't forget the heavy hitters, like Ice Cream, Millionaire Socialist Pelosi. Imagine, if you can, the price of her surgeon to say nothing of her socialist $24k refrigerators.

Then there's pastry cook Mittens Romney. Tomfoolery, malfeasance and outright pharisaical corruption is clearly bipartisan. OK, let's stop there though the list could run and run. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm a patriot, I really am, and I love this country and its people. A goodhearted crew. That in mind, why do we allow mountebanks, clowns, parasites and buffoons to rule us? 

Perhaps part of it is because we don't, our electoral process is a broken sham and with that, the question remains.

Your Old Pal,

LSP 

We Are Underwater Now

Roaring in the heavens, consternation and turbulence on the face of the waters and distress amongst men. It's a lot like the battle of Jutland, but no, this isn't a famous naval engagement, it's just Dallas in the ferocious grip of a Spring storm.

It started around 3.00 am with the crash of thunder and a mighty deluge of rain, shaking the wooden frame of Ma LSP's urban HQ, and it hasn't stopped. Tornadoes are likely, to say nothing of flood damage as God takes just vengeance on the Demoncrats of Winnetka Heights.

Undaunted, I drove to the nearest pick 'n steal for coffee and a scout 'round the neighborhood. Was there a kind of poetry in the sheer number of faux-mex Beto signs being washed away in the flood into the nearest storm drain? Sure there was, and it's gratifying to see the preposterous fake Mexican going the same way as Abortion Barbie. Remember her? No, neither do we.

Regardless, Blue Kriegsmarine isn't fazed by the storm and somehow manages to keep himself from savaging a large plush pug which rests on guard by the fridge in the kitchen. Strange but true.

In other exciting news, the Army cleverly presented the boy to MEPS with incomplete paperwork, so there's a slight delay. He's with a recruiter now, sorting it out.

Swim on,

LSP

Blue Wave Gets Panned In Texas

Peacocks croak and shriek, dogs bark psychotically, roosters crow and a train rumbles through town, almost drowning out the sound of the crazed backyard menagerie. What is this? you ask, some kind of cross between Animal Farm and an industrial theme park? 

A Typical Blue Wave Unicorn in Texas

Good call, but no, it's just the compound and we're celebrating the dismal failure of the Democrat Blue Wave to surge in the Texan Primaries. It's been their goal. Turn Texas, an iconically conservative, frontier spirit state into San Francisco writ large. 

What a massive coup that'd be for the Democrats, in the same kind of way that conquering Rome is for the Jihad. They want it and they want it bad.

Blue Wave To Texan Translation

And they failed. Texans didn't turn out in strength for the trans rainbow utopia  party. In fact, as Breitbart points out, Senator Cruz got more votes alone than the entire Democrat turn out, 1,317,450 to  641,311.

Cronos Frowns On Wendy

The triumphant Blue Wave just didn't happen, fortunately we were able to capture it on video before it disappeared altogether.

Video Evidence

Not unlike Wendy Davis, come to think of it. Remember her? No, neither do we.

Your Friend,

LSP

Steamrolled

Presented without comment.

LSP