The Space Alien Threat

Are extraterrestrials real and are they visiting the earth? Statistics show an increasing number of Americans believe they are. 

According to the the National UFO Reporting Center there were 6,340 UFO sightings nationwide in 2019, nearly double the 3,456 sightings in 2018. This trend continued in 2020, with the first three months of the year showing a 112% increase in sightings over the same period in 2019.

The upsurge in sightings follows recently released US Navy footage, showing unknown gravity defying craft moving at incredible speeds. This has prompted some experts to warn of an impending alien invasion.

“If real-life aliens are regarding this Earth with envious eyes, and are drawing up plans, what are our plans to deal with them? The short answer is that there aren’t any," stated renowned UK Ufologist, Nick Pope, who added, "If it came to a real-life War of the Worlds, there’s no alien invasion war plan – we’ll just have to wing it."

Are creatures from another time, dimension, galaxy or star system visiting the earth with "envious eyes"? Possibly, but here at the Compound we believe they're here already.

You have been warned.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Abducted?

Shocking new research suggests that US transsexuals weren't "born that way" but are victims of a sinister experiment by space aliens, the "Greys", to alter human DNA. 

According to one UK based paranormal expert, A. DelGarde, the current wave of American transsexualism is the result of 20 years of alien abduction.

"The notorious grey aliens are, on the whole, devoid of gender," stated DelGarde, "but were in the 1990s interfering with humans because of some peculiar reproductive agenda of their own. Within its own frame of reference this would explain why aliens after human spermatozoa didn’t just covertly raid a sperm bank rather than target men in California, Austin and the Midwest."

DelGarde and other experts believe we are now seeing the results of alien experimentation.

"So, after twenty years of alien hybrids and experimentation, their Midwich Cuckoos are growing up - we are now seeing the consequences of alien interference with human DNA. 

"In the words of a colleague, 'Given that some estimates say that up to 3 million Americans may have been abducted by aliens, it could explain what's occurring over the Pond'."

Others aren't so sure. Singer songwriter superstar, Lady GagGa, Presidential hopeful Joe Biden and the Episcopal Church believe that gender's a construct, that being a man or a woman is the result of brain waves rather than biology or experimentation by space aliens.

So what's it to be. Are transsexuals the sad victims of alien abduction or a victory of mind over matter?

You, discerning reader, be the judge.

LSP

Bishops Abandon ACoC!

Do you remember ACoC, the tiny Canadian Anglican franchise? Perhaps not, you've been busy watching Ice Ice Baby on a continuous loop. But press pause and listen up; ACoC's bishops are abandoning their dimunitive denomination in droves.

ACoC Bishop Figures

Archbishop Fred Hiltz, ACoC supremo, has announced his resignation. Michael Bird, Bishop of Niagara, Colin Johnson of Toronto, Donald Phillips of Rupert's Land and now Archbishop Privett of Kootenay and The People, have all told the world they're Xing out of ACoC.

Why are these bishop figures leaving the church they helped to destroy build? Here's Samizdat:

Time We Left This Planet

They are all liberal and heartily endorse same-sex marriage. Why have they all decided to leave now? Do they know something we don’t about the fate of the ACoC? Are they concerned that there is no future for them in the ACoC because they are all heterosexual? Have they reached that stage in life when ambition yields to the sad realisation that all the ecclesiastical mayhem that can possibly be inflicted on the Anglican Communion in one lifetime has already been wrought during their climb up the greasy clerical pole?

Return To The Source!

All good questions but let's apply Occam's Razor. Could it be that, work done, the Mothership is calling them home?

Food for thought, eh?

LSP

Man Abducted By Diocese Of Perth!

An Australian man has come forward claiming he was attacked and abducted by the Archdiocese of Perth. What's more, the Down Under abductee says he can prove it, thanks to satellite imagery.

The alien kidnap victim, Kevin Mooner, alleges that he attempted to punch the Archdiocese of Perth before he was taken aboard the space creature's Mother Ship. 

"The satellite image clearly shows me trying to fight off the Archdiocese of Perth by punching it in the face.

"The satellite has captured a real alien abduction taking place. The shocking thing about this was that it's me being abducted by a grey alien and the satellite image clearly shows me trying to fight off the grey alien by punching it in the face."

However, skeptics say Mooner's abduction story is untrue. "Everyone has a story to tell about being abducted by the Anglican Church of Australia," stated one expert, "But this is fantasy. These people see this stuff online and copy each other."

The Archdiocese of Perth declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Oculus Rift

This is what you think you see.

Mantoid

This is the reality.

Drones in the Hive

Take. The. Goggles. Off.

God bless,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury's Plan for the Anglican Communion

Some people are puzzled by the Archbishop of Canterbury's plan for the Anglican Communion. Here's what he said:

"Our way forward must respect the decisions of Lambeth 1998... recognising that the way in which proclamation happens and the pressures on us vary greatly between Provinces. We each live in a different context.

“The difference between our societies and cultures, as well as the speed of cultural change in much of the global north, tempts us to divide as Christians: when the command of scripture, the prayer of Jesus, the tradition of the church and our theological understanding urges unity."

Clear? No, it isn't. So here's a helpful translation from Shakani:

"Allow us this evening to elucidate a bit more clearly, a bit more precisely on the belief system leg of that prism. For understand, that within the vibration, the frequency of All That Is, and within the vibration, the signature vibration that you are - are your belief systems, and these too are vibratory frequencies - vibratory frequencies in this case of awareness. But, when you utilize those particular frequencies there are always corresponding results depending on which frequency you choose. So therefore perhaps you can say, your primary belief in life is the primary frequency through which you are choosing to explore at this time."

You get it now, right?

LSP

Get Humble And Clean Your Guns

If you don't clean your guns they break and don't shoot right, like the long-lost Anglican Communion itself. That's why I took some time out this morning to put a couple of firearms to rights. I won't lie, they were filthy little beasts.

As I cleaned the miserable offenders my mind strayed to the virtue of humility, something that's in short supply in the world but mandated by the Gospel."If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all," says Christ to the disciples and to us. So we've got to get humble, but how?

Eat Humbly at the Compound

Aquinas, commenting on the Rule of St. Benedict, says this:

The first degree of humility, then, is that a person keep the fear of God before his eyes and beware of ever forgetting it. Let him be ever mindful of all that God has commanded; let his thoughts constantly recur to the hell-fire which will burn for their sins those who despise God, and to the life everlasting which is prepared for those who fear him. […] Let a man consider that God is always looking at him from heaven, that his actions are everywhere visible to the divine eyes and are constantly being reported to God by the Angels.

There is no Fear of God Before Their Eyes

The fear of God is fast disappearing from the West, will it be replaced by the satanic tyranny of pride?

Cheers, 

LSP

Anglican Gender Justice

Do you remember the latest headline-breaking news about the Church of England? That it had launched a bold new ecotheology initiative to reduce its carbon footprint? Well, that's not all.

Gender Justice Warriors

Courageous Anglican gender justice warriors met at a workshop in London in March to kick off an "international movement for gender justice."

Anglican Communion Office

According to Revd Terrie Robinson, Director for Women in the Church and Society (WITCHS) at the Anglican Communion Office, “The workshop was a constructive reminder that we will travel further in our efforts for gender justice if we travel together. Women and men have become trapped in distorted mythologies around power which erode the status and agency of women, deny men and women the benefits of just gender relations, and get in the way of development, health and well-being."

Distorted Mythology?

Vicious rumors that the Anglican Communion Office has been taken over by space aliens are just that, rumors.

Travel Together

Former oil executive, Justsin Welby, is Archbishop of Canterbury.

LSP