Abducted?

Shocking new research suggests that US transsexuals weren't "born that way" but are victims of a sinister experiment by space aliens, the "Greys", to alter human DNA. 

According to one UK based paranormal expert, A. DelGarde, the current wave of American transsexualism is the result of 20 years of alien abduction.

"The notorious grey aliens are, on the whole, devoid of gender," stated DelGarde, "but were in the 1990s interfering with humans because of some peculiar reproductive agenda of their own. Within its own frame of reference this would explain why aliens after human spermatozoa didn’t just covertly raid a sperm bank rather than target men in California, Austin and the Midwest."

DelGarde and other experts believe we are now seeing the results of alien experimentation.

"So, after twenty years of alien hybrids and experimentation, their Midwich Cuckoos are growing up - we are now seeing the consequences of alien interference with human DNA. 

"In the words of a colleague, 'Given that some estimates say that up to 3 million Americans may have been abducted by aliens, it could explain what's occurring over the Pond'."

Others aren't so sure. Singer songwriter superstar, Lady GagGa, Presidential hopeful Joe Biden and the Episcopal Church believe that gender's a construct, that being a man or a woman is the result of brain waves rather than biology or experimentation by space aliens.

So what's it to be. Are transsexuals the sad victims of alien abduction or a victory of mind over matter?

You, discerning reader, be the judge.

LSP

Sightings Reveal Diocese of Oxford And Communion Hybrids

Newly declassified files from the UK's Ministry of Defence reveal a close encounter of the bizarre kind, detailing a chance sighting of the Diocese of Oxford.

An Oxfordshire resident saw the off-world diocese hovering over a field in 1998, where it made crop circles. According to the anonymous witness, the mysterious object was 40 foot tall, pink, covered in flashing lights and decorated with the diocesan logo, a large Egyptian Ankh.

Oxford

The observer sent drawings of the strange craft to the MOD, stating,"I have developed contact with these craft and their enemy forces." However, the MOD did not investigate and the object disappeared.

Communion Hybrid

In related news, ET xenologists have discovered a new form of semi-extraterrestrial life, the Anglican Communion Hybrid. Communion Hybrids are believed to be part human, part alien Grey and have "telepathic" powers.

"The being (Communion Hybrid) seemed to be telepathic," stated one expert, "And his appearance was rough and weathered as in premature aging."

A Grey

According to an eyewitness' drawing, the humanoid appeared to be malformed and suffering from a form of mental illness. These apparent physical defects reveal that hybridization is potentially vulnerable to error, indicating that the Grey's genetic program experienced random error beyond their control.

Random Error

When questioned about their part in the hybrid program, the Diocese of Oxford refused to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Busted!

Presented with no comment, via everyone's fave pagan. Why? if you have to ask...

Cheers,

LSP