The Sun Shines

 

Yesterday may have been Eschaton but today is Elysium. The sun shines, Mass has been said, sturdy venison sausage pasta is on the go and all is well in this focal plane of the great state of Texas. Elsewhere? Maybe not so hot, but it's alright here, today.

Speaking of elsewhere, I've heard that many people in this country don't cook at home, they have these trophy Viking ranges and kitchens full of status gadgetry, but it's all unused. Instead, they eat out every day or did before our wise and beloved Administration made this unaffordable for all but the socialist rich.

You know what they say, all animals are equal but some are more equal than others. That in mind, Doktor Swankenstein sent in this helpful infographic, here it is:

Diversity is our strength, eh?

Salve,

LSP

Abducted?

Shocking new research suggests that US transsexuals weren't "born that way" but are victims of a sinister experiment by space aliens, the "Greys", to alter human DNA. 

According to one UK based paranormal expert, A. DelGarde, the current wave of American transsexualism is the result of 20 years of alien abduction.

"The notorious grey aliens are, on the whole, devoid of gender," stated DelGarde, "but were in the 1990s interfering with humans because of some peculiar reproductive agenda of their own. Within its own frame of reference this would explain why aliens after human spermatozoa didn’t just covertly raid a sperm bank rather than target men in California, Austin and the Midwest."

DelGarde and other experts believe we are now seeing the results of alien experimentation.

"So, after twenty years of alien hybrids and experimentation, their Midwich Cuckoos are growing up - we are now seeing the consequences of alien interference with human DNA. 

"In the words of a colleague, 'Given that some estimates say that up to 3 million Americans may have been abducted by aliens, it could explain what's occurring over the Pond'."

Others aren't so sure. Singer songwriter superstar, Lady GagGa, Presidential hopeful Joe Biden and the Episcopal Church believe that gender's a construct, that being a man or a woman is the result of brain waves rather than biology or experimentation by space aliens.

So what's it to be. Are transsexuals the sad victims of alien abduction or a victory of mind over matter?

You, discerning reader, be the judge.

LSP

Cooking With LSP, Venison Backstrap

Excuse me? You snort indignantly. You can't cook with LSP. Not so fast, tiger. You can and here's how. First step, go out and shoot a deer or get someone to do it for you. 

Next step, get a slab of the deer's backstrap, maybe some tenderloin too, and behold its glory; season with salt and pepper, then marinade in a mixture of soy sauce and brown sugar, about a 1/4 cup of the one and a couple of tablespoons of the other.

Put it in the fridge. Well done, you've successfully completed the first evolution of this training program and you've earned a break. Take it, go fishing, sharpen your knives, clean guns, whatever, it's up to you.

As the sun begins to set, take the venison out of the fridge, cut it into thick slices (1.5/2" or so), wrap in bacon, skewer with a toothpick and marvel at the genius of it all. 

When you've recovered from that, put those bacon wrapped chunks of awesome on a rack in a tin in the center of a 350* preheated oven.

Relax, you're nearly there. Have a glass of wine if you like, have several; there's no rush because the meat has to cook for around 20 minutes, until the bacon's on the go. But be careful, don't overcook, you're after medium rare or at least I am. So know the heat of your oven.

Oven done, finish the beasts off on a heavy metal hot skillet. Please don't, in your enthusiasm, grasp the handle of the red hot skillet. Trust me, it hurts. 

Then serve with vegetables if you want and eat your scoff...

Like a Warrior,

LSP