And... They're Back!

As America erupted in a frenzy of mall brawl shopping and Team LSP tended the grill, Satan Inc. was getting ready to pour yet more millions of dollars into Hillary's ego.

Fill The Ego!

Not content with her puppeteer losing the election, Hillary's proxy, Jill "spend those socialist millions" Stein, was ramping up to challenge the results in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. Despite there being no evidence of hacking or fraud other than, you know, Hillary losing the vote.

Nice Pizza, Hillary

Let's see what kind of ROI Hillary's deep pocketed investors donors get out of launching this next tranche of big money into the Clintonian bottom line. If nothing, will they want their money back?

As you ponder that, ask yourself whether Podesta's emails have anything to do with pizzagate pedophilia. Not that he's a Crowleyite ritual magicke occcultist or anything.

Occultists

Reports of the Archbishop of Canterbury fighting over flatscreens at Walmart Black Friday Supersales in New Jersey may or may not be true.

That is all.

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury's Plan for the Anglican Communion

Some people are puzzled by the Archbishop of Canterbury's plan for the Anglican Communion. Here's what he said:

"Our way forward must respect the decisions of Lambeth 1998... recognising that the way in which proclamation happens and the pressures on us vary greatly between Provinces. We each live in a different context.

“The difference between our societies and cultures, as well as the speed of cultural change in much of the global north, tempts us to divide as Christians: when the command of scripture, the prayer of Jesus, the tradition of the church and our theological understanding urges unity."

Clear? No, it isn't. So here's a helpful translation from Shakani:

"Allow us this evening to elucidate a bit more clearly, a bit more precisely on the belief system leg of that prism. For understand, that within the vibration, the frequency of All That Is, and within the vibration, the signature vibration that you are - are your belief systems, and these too are vibratory frequencies - vibratory frequencies in this case of awareness. But, when you utilize those particular frequencies there are always corresponding results depending on which frequency you choose. So therefore perhaps you can say, your primary belief in life is the primary frequency through which you are choosing to explore at this time."

You get it now, right?

LSP

Shock Poll, Church of England Loses Members as ISIS Laughs

Shocking new figures show that the numbers thin but buildings rich Church of England lost 1.7 million members between 2012 and 2014. During the same time, the Religion of Peace has gained 900,000 adherents.

Cof E traditionalists argue that the crisis-level decline is due to the small denomination's desperate bid to gain popularity by turning churches into mosques for a day, encouraging transsexual naming ceremonies, making women bishops and "going goddess."

What's gone wrong? Everyone knows that trans advocacy, women bishops and praying to Gaia are big crowd pullers. And turning your church into a mosque is guaranteed to fill those empty pews!

With Muslims.

ISIS laughs.

LSP

Dog on the Porch

I got back from Mass yesterday and sure enough, there was a dog on the porch. A Heeler. No collar. So I gave him some food and water, expecting him to be on his way after he'd had some scoff.

This Dog Hates Libs

But no, he was there this morning, sleeping on the doormat. I fed him again, on the porch, and he followed me to  the store, and back, to his home on the porch. And that's where he's staying. Outside.

Rural Idyll

Obedient dog, sits, heels (obviously) and likes running after the pickup, just like he's supposed to do. A church lady saw him this afternoon and I asked what she thought of the beast. "That's a cow dog," she said and she'd know.

Your Home is Outside

He can stay on the porch and I'll feed him when he's not foraging; he can add an extra tier of defense to the operation, if he chooses to stay. 

Every bit will help in the coming collapse.

God bless,

LSP

Friend of the Devil

You may have heard that some goof-off clowns are getting ready to hold a "Black Mass" in Oklahoma City's Civic Center. Despite being "sanitized", the diabolic parody of the Eucharist in question is evidently serious.

When asked about their Satanic Sunday activities, the leader of the devilish group replied that they meet every Sunday in an Oklahoma City-area home, going through a cycle of rituals and activities that include teachings, working on journals and workbooks, and meals together.

Dobby

One commentator couldn't resist the obvious: "Oh, it’s an Episcopal church."

Tip of the deadly assault rifle to Stand Firm.

More ammo, please.

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury's Head Found on Mars!

Thanks to star-gazing Google sleuths, the Archbishop of Canterbury's head may have been found, on Mars!

High Cranium, Pointed Chin

The whereabouts of Archbishop Justin Welby's head has baffled experts since Anglicanism's top leader visited Kenya last year, but now the mystery of the missing head could be at an end. After searching through hundreds of high-resolution photos taken by NASA's Mars Rover, amateur Ufologists believe they have spotted Welby's head.

Mars Rock Or Archbishop's Head?

Taken from NASA's website, photos show a head with a high domelike cranium and a pointed chin, half-buried in drifting sand. Said one expert, "The picture shows a very long skull with an elongated forehead as compared to the jaw, which indicates high intelligence." This might link the skull to Welby, who is famous for his sharp negotiating skills and the superhuman intellectual ability to hold entirely opposing points of view at any one time.

Others aren't convinced. "It's just a rock that looks a lot like Justin Welby's missing head," said one skeptic.

Has Welby's head been found, at last? You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP