Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Mystery Planet Home to ACoC?

The Anglican Church of Canada

Stargazing boffins have spotted a mystery world which may be home to the long-lost Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC).

Star Map

Astronomers at the European Southern Observatory discovered a world orbiting our closest star, Alpha Centauri, that's only four light years away. Because the mysterious planet inhabits the "goldilocks zone," allowing it to have liquid water, the planet may host life, and ACoC.

In Space No One Can Hear You Scream

Eager scientists are trying to find a way to send a gigantic robot probe to the planet to see if it's home to alien life forms. However, although close in astronomical terms, it would take 76,000 years to reach using present day spacefaring technology.

According to Nick Pope, a UK based UFO expert, the discovery is "game-changing."

Space Aliens

"This game-changing discovery may help us answer the question of whether or not the Anglican Church of Canada is in this universe," he stated, "Many people believe there are aliens out there and now it's possible they're our galactic next door neighbours."

The Church of England

The Anglican Church of Canada left earth orbit several decades ago and has yet to be found. Whether the tiny denomination will be discovered circling our nearest star is uncertain because of the distances involved.

Artist's Impression of a Light Sail Starship 

When asked if it was building a "light sail" to reach the far-off planet and make contact with the diminutive ACoC, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Ad Astra,



LL said...

At present, it's all speculation, of course. Robotic probes may find an army of flesh eating/brain sucking Hillary clones (Hilbots) preparing to board flying saucers bound for Earth.

Anonymous said...


LSP said...

It's likely -- but the Hillbots don't work too well. We may be safe...

LSP said...

Must hire more and, er, better copy editors!

LL said...

It's true that the Hilbots seem to be constructed on a flawed plan and if rumor serves as a guide, they can't stand up for long without assistance, see double, and often just fall down.

LSP said...

I'm not an expert but it seems like the Hillbot is a faulty prototype. If so, why is it allowed to run amok around the country?

DAARPA has some explaining to do.

Mattexian said...

On the '90s sci-fi TV show "Babylon 5," the first alien race we encounter in space were from Alpha Centauri, and they eventually introduce us to the rest of the intergalactic species. (And how to get around, without wasting a major chunk of a lifetime, via the hyperspace jump gates.)

LSP said...

Prophetic, perhaps, Mattexian.