Monday, August 22, 2016

Full Disclosure!

UFO theorists are predicting that US President, Barack Obama, will finally reveal the existence of space aliens, in a last ditch attempt to save his floundering "legacy."

Barack Obama

Seen by many as a millionaire socialist who cares more for golf on the prestigious Martha's Vineyard playground of the super rich than he does for the needs of the people, full alien disclosure could well secure Obama's place in the presidential hall of fame. According to one disclosure expert, Stephen Bassett, revealing the truth about aliens will give Obama a "legacy more profound than the coming of Christ."

Space Alien

“Disclosure is the most profound event in human history," stated Bassett to the UK's Express, "and if you are the head of state that lets it out, the one who brought the Truth to the world, you will leave a legacy more profound that the coming of Christ.

“If you think being Jesus Christ is a big deal, being the Disclosure President is a bigger deal!”


However, the Truth could be closer to home than pundits predict, with Alien replicants hiding in plain sight, in the heart of the Washington establishment itself. "We've known about aliens for a long time," said one DC source on conditions of anonymity, "In fact, they struck a deal with the Government, space tech in return for positions of power.


"There's at least three. The Hillbot, a kind of teflon hybrid with a cazed lust for power, John Kerry, aka Woodentop, who has the ability to transform himself into a swift boat, and Joe Biden. We call Biden 'Groper.'"


Others aren't convinced. "It's obvious that the Hillbot, Woodentop and Groper aren't space aliens," stated one well-placed source, "They're clearly malfunctioning DAARPA AIs. Just look at the way the Hillbot keeps falling over, and that vacant stare on Woodentop's face, like the lights are on but no one's at home. I won't comment on Groper."

Groper Gets Down

Whether space aliens are alive and well at the highest levels of the US government, or whether America is being run by a series of malfunctioning DAARPA androids is presently unclear. 

The Truth

Will Barack Obama secure his place in history by revealing the truth?

Ex Machina,



LL said...

Space aliens are among us! No healthy adult male is as physically weak as Barack (photo above), which suggests that he comes from a planet with lower gravity. It's why he can't lift two five-pound weights in his daily workout. It may also explain why he married a wookie. As to the rest of the flying monkeys and bamabots, it's anyone's guess whether they are manufactured AI's with the winning bid going to the lowest bidder.

LindaG said...

The Big O already has a legacy. The president with the least grateful family, that doesn't mind traveling the world to spend as much of the white racist, bigoted white persons' tax money possible before they are (hopefully) ejected from THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE.
I did enjoy this post though. Thank you for the laugh.
Be safe and God bless.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the mother ship will show up and take him back home.

LSP said...

It's clear, LL, that something weird's going on. Space alien or faulty 'droid? I'm not sure.

LSP said...

Linda, we can but hope, and change.

LSP said...

Mother Ship, Anonymous? That sounds suspiciously like Hillary. Sorry, Department of Justice.