Africa

 

"And yet the continent of Africa can barely do better than worked wood beams 500,000 years later." My dear Anon, you strike right to the dark heart of the matter. 

"See you at the Club" aside, Anon is commenting on this. And this, private jet flying, carbon spewing, multimillionaire socialist, green guru Kerry. Here he is:

Green Leader. Roger that.

Cheers,

LSP

MIllionaire Leftist Dunderhead

 

Wunderwaffe

Do you remember when it was Global Warming? Because of all the carbon-spewing industrialisms that were going to destroy the planet, with their carbon? Yes, we all do, Global Warming, such a terrible thing. Then it became Climate Change.

thanks, LL

Dam, the weather changes and might kill us all, better pay moar tax. And that's what the climate grifters did, wrote off checks to their friends in the name of Net Zero at the expense of you, the Weather Serf. And guess what, the delta-minus serfs believed it. All hail K Street Marcom!

Seriously, genius. But I'll leave you with this. Raytheon, all hallowed MIC integer that it is, invited the world to applaud its latest naval anti-air munition, the jolly little green Sea Sparrow. Make of this what you will.

Your Tzarist Pal,

LSP

Johnnie Walker Says Kerry's An Idiot

A new trove of US intel  emails has been discovered, thanks to a mysterious hacker known as "Johnnie Walker." The emails reveal what we've known all along, that Senator John Kerry is "an idiot."

One Redditor described the contents of these earth shattering emails:

Found a couple of things that are interesting. A Russian scholar "Valery Solovei" is sending Robert Otto a monthly report on Russia. Also, Otto and his buddies HATE John Kerry and continually refer to him as an idiot!

Perhaps all is not lost in the murky, cloak and dagger world of the US intelligence community.

Mind how you go,

LSP

War Drums

Have you noticed how every time Wikileaks dumps a thousand or so email revelations on Team Clinton, and it's daily, the war drums pound louder?

Like, how dare they expose us for being corrupt pay-to-play Saudi Arabian proxies. Even Great Britain's fabled RAF (who knew there still was one) is getting in on the act, with pilots being given the green light to shoot down Russian planes. And on, and on.

Senator Kerry

Really? We're getting ready to go to war with Russia in order to protect our allies Saudi Arabia, Qatar, the UAE, ISIS and Al Queda? So that Candidate Hillzebub Clinton can preside in satanic majesty over a radioactive wasteland?

Recall the flies. The spirits of the pit do not think as the living.

Hillzebub! Hillzebub! War! War! War! Hillzebub! Hillzebub!

I thought we'd reached peak insanity a week or so ago. I was wrong. It's climbing.

LSP

Full Disclosure!

UFO theorists are predicting that US President, Barack Obama, will finally reveal the existence of space aliens, in a last ditch attempt to save his floundering "legacy."

Barack Obama

Seen by many as a millionaire socialist who cares more for golf on the prestigious Martha's Vineyard playground of the super rich than he does for the needs of the people, full alien disclosure could well secure Obama's place in the presidential hall of fame. According to one disclosure expert, Stephen Bassett, revealing the truth about aliens will give Obama a "legacy more profound than the coming of Christ."

Space Alien

“Disclosure is the most profound event in human history," stated Bassett to the UK's Express, "and if you are the head of state that lets it out, the one who brought the Truth to the world, you will leave a legacy more profound that the coming of Christ.

“If you think being Jesus Christ is a big deal, being the Disclosure President is a bigger deal!”

Hillbot

However, the Truth could be closer to home than pundits predict, with Alien replicants hiding in plain sight, in the heart of the Washington establishment itself. "We've known about aliens for a long time," said one DC source on conditions of anonymity, "In fact, they struck a deal with the Government, space tech in return for positions of power.

Groper

"There's at least three. The Hillbot, a kind of teflon hybrid with a cazed lust for power, John Kerry, aka Woodentop, who has the ability to transform himself into a swift boat, and Joe Biden. We call Biden 'Groper.'"

Woodentop

Others aren't convinced. "It's obvious that the Hillbot, Woodentop and Groper aren't space aliens," stated one well-placed source, "They're clearly malfunctioning DAARPA AIs. Just look at the way the Hillbot keeps falling over, and that vacant stare on Woodentop's face, like the lights are on but no one's at home. I won't comment on Groper."

Groper Gets Down

Whether space aliens are alive and well at the highest levels of the US government, or whether America is being run by a series of malfunctioning DAARPA androids is presently unclear. 

The Truth

Will Barack Obama secure his place in history by revealing the truth?

Ex Machina,

LSP

France Launches Peace At Raqqa

In a stunning show of force, James Taylor and a holographic John Lennon are being beamed in to Paris by Senator John Kerry to finally, once and for all, defeat the Jihad. Yoko Ono is also slated to appear, in what pundits are predicting to be the "most significant rally for peace since Band Aid." 

The Talent That is Yoko

Who knows, maybe the incredibly talented vocalist, Yoko, will shriek the Jihad into submission. Failing that, France has launched a massive Peace Raid on the Caliphate's capital, Raqqa, consisting of 20 bombs. 

Vive

Yes, 20. It's a lot like the allied bombing raids on Nazi Germany, only way smaller. Still, despite their reputation, the French can be made of pretty stern stuff. Maybe the attack on our frenemies, ISIS, will continue.

Good Luck, Paris

In the meanwhile, Paris, already reeling from one attack, steels itself for Yoko. It survived ISIS, at no little cost to itself. It remains to be seen whether this iconic city will survive the sonic assault of the genius that is Yoko.

All you need is love,

LSP