Johnnie Walker Says Kerry's An Idiot

A new trove of US intel  emails has been discovered, thanks to a mysterious hacker known as "Johnnie Walker." The emails reveal what we've known all along, that Senator John Kerry is "an idiot."

One Redditor described the contents of these earth shattering emails:

Found a couple of things that are interesting. A Russian scholar "Valery Solovei" is sending Robert Otto a monthly report on Russia. Also, Otto and his buddies HATE John Kerry and continually refer to him as an idiot!

Perhaps all is not lost in the murky, cloak and dagger world of the US intelligence community.

Mind how you go,

LSP

Russians Hack Church of England?

Shocking new evidence appears to show the small but aggressively transsexual Church of England disappearing into a portal in Yakutia, Russia, leading experts to claim that the venerable denomination has been hacked by the Kremlin.

Video footage shows the diminutive Church rising into the Russian sky before vanishing into a "portal."

The Church of England disappearing into a portal

"The strange video, seeming to show the Church of England full of lights in the night sky, has emerged in media circles in Yakutia, the largest region in Russia," stated one UFOlogist, "The small object is then swallowed by a portal. I think it was hacked."

Yakutia is famous for its diamonds, which may have drawn the cash-strapped CofE to the Russian wilderness. 

Artist's impression

Reports of the numerically challenged denomination disappearing altogether have come in from several countries, including Canada, New Zealand and America. 

A typical Russian hacker

However, when questioned about Russian hacking, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby

Archbishop Justin Welby was last seen pawning episcopal regalia on Detroit's notorious 8 Mile Road.

Space is Deep,

LSP

Russians Hack Memorial Weekend!

It's raining here in Texas because President Trump G6'd the G7 climate deal, allowing the Russians to hack the weather and ruin everyone's Memorial Day weekend.

Sources claim that a top-level White House insider spoke with Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, opening up a special back passage which allowed the Kremlin to hack the weather, causing it to rain. The Kremlin hack, code named Soggy Bear, disrupted millions of Americans' cookouts.

President Trump unleashed a tweetstorm, accusing US media of promoting "fake news" in an attempt to get Hillary Clinton, but then went on to prove Russian collusion by addressing US troops in Italy, chanting "USA, USA!" 

Trump's display of traitorous sentiment at the close of his first foreign trip caused MSNBC's popular transsexual journalist, "Rachel" Maddow to call for the President's impeachment.

Here at the compound we're firing up the grill, despite our enemy, the Weather. Rumours of visiting Spetsnaz and Bear Cavalry officers are entirely without foundation.

God bless America.

LSP

Storm, Art, Flag, Bishop

The three or four Russian hackers that read this mind blog keep asking, "Tovarich, LSP, there are no posts! What is happening? Explain." Alright, I will.

Things have been incredibly busy at the Compound, with Lent talks, Stations of the Cross, an Episcopal Visitation, storms, flying the flag and making art.

It's a simple installation; a plain color field whose center is an absence, a void inviting projection as we journey downwards and beneath the image. Is it a reflection, a mirror, an image of the other or none of these things? It's called "X Ring," serious inquiries only.

Great art aside,  our enemy the Weather has launched a ferocious offensive, unleashing thunder, lightning and torrential rain. Our bishop braved that this morning to visit the missions; well done, Jack Iker.

It will probably storm again tonight and the Compound, like the prow or bridge of a ship, will stand tall against the fury of the elements.

Be safe,

LSP

Putin is so Awesome

Via Zerohedge:

“If we were to use traditional measures for understanding leaders, which involve the defense of borders and national flourishing, Putin would count as the preeminent statesman of our time.

“On the world stage, who could vie with him?”

Good question.

Your Old Pal,

LSP