Cher - Time To Leave

 

Smash hit super celebrity pop icon Cher, 77, has threatened to finally leave America if Donald Trump is reelected. That's right, no more Cher if El Senor gets back in the Oval Office and Melania's once more in charge of White House aesthetics.

According to Breitbart, the aging singer "almost got an ulcer" when Trump defeated Hillary in 2016 and if he returns Cher will "leave":

“I almost got an ulcer the last time [Trump was elected],” Cher told the Guardian in an interview published Wednesday, adding, “If he gets in, who knows? This time I will leave [the country].”

Megastar Cher famously supported Joe Biden in his hugely successful run for President in 2020 and even reworked a song for his campaign, the mass hit, "Happiness Is Just A Thing Called Joe."  However, even though Old Joe won the Presidency, Cher still wasn't happy.

When the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, massively popular Cher rode the doomsday clock, declaring that  SCOTUS would be “responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of American women.” Yes, a veritable female slaughterhouse because biological women wouldn't be killed in the womb.

Unsurprisingly, the talented singer songwriter of classics like the Shoop Shoop Song and Heart of Stone was outraged by Texas' recent pro-life legislation, shouting on social media, “WOMEN WILL DIE” and “DEMOCRACY WILL WITHER & DIE, & DICTATORS WILL THRIVE.”

Is Cher a Moloch worshiping, Illuminati Devil Witch with a whopping socialist net worth of $380 million or a simple pop genius with a social conscience? Either which way, she's out if 45 becomes 47. 

Here at the Compound and by way of serious analysis, we wonder if this isn't reason enough to vote for El Senor. Not that voting actually seems to matter much, but still.

Time you left, Cher.

LSP

Something Wrong With The Jukebox?

 

Yes, it's our old favorite, Lords of Light. Rock on, right? But you know the old story, on come the Hawks and your youngest sister turns and says, "Something wrong with the jukebox?"

That in mind, how long would the UK last in a peer-to-peer firefight?  Asking for a friend. Maybe 24 hours, if that? Bets on. I'll lay a Guinea down UKLF, insomuch as it even exists today, folds. Your call, and money on the monkey.

Play Deep,

LSP

Seconds of Forever

 

In the first second of forever I saw a discarded mask, as if a broken fragment of a child's toy, an epitaph, resting on the tarmac.

In the second second of forever I saw a sign, a prophecy of things to come.

And in the third second I saw a plastic glove, discarded, thumbless in the sun.

Standing on the Runway,

LSP

Space is Deep

Space is deep, a void we have to travel, said the Shiba, nonchalantly settling into the Captain's chair for a well deserved nap. I couldn't blame him, he'd run well. I checked co-pilot's instruments for course setting. Yes, we were on target, for the Moon and Mars.

Will we get there or disappear in smoke? Not a gambling man, but vote the former. In the meanwhile...

Better believe it,

LSP

Russians Hack Church of England?

Shocking new evidence appears to show the small but aggressively transsexual Church of England disappearing into a portal in Yakutia, Russia, leading experts to claim that the venerable denomination has been hacked by the Kremlin.

Video footage shows the diminutive Church rising into the Russian sky before vanishing into a "portal."

The Church of England disappearing into a portal

"The strange video, seeming to show the Church of England full of lights in the night sky, has emerged in media circles in Yakutia, the largest region in Russia," stated one UFOlogist, "The small object is then swallowed by a portal. I think it was hacked."

Yakutia is famous for its diamonds, which may have drawn the cash-strapped CofE to the Russian wilderness. 

Artist's impression

Reports of the numerically challenged denomination disappearing altogether have come in from several countries, including Canada, New Zealand and America. 

A typical Russian hacker

However, when questioned about Russian hacking, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby

Archbishop Justin Welby was last seen pawning episcopal regalia on Detroit's notorious 8 Mile Road.

Space is Deep,

LSP

The Fryday Roundup

It's been a busy week, here in the newsroom, as our team of hard-pressed writers struggle to make deadline while living on a punishing diet of pork chops, bacon, steak, Fritos, bean dip and the occasional Marie Callender chicken pot pie. While being attacked by The Weather. So here's a couple of highlights.

Houston Goes Full Pink Stasi 

Two Christian daycare workers have been fired in Houston. Their crime? Refusing to tell the kids that a girl is a boy. 

What. A. Pair. Of. Haters.

Unlike the Episcopal Church, (TEC) which is welcoming and inclusive, unless it's suing you. 

The Episcopal Church on Full Gurn 

Michael Curry became the Episcopal Church's Presiding Bishop at Washington National Cathedral on November 1. Maybe he'll turn the declining denomination's ever dwindling demographics around by making people "happy." Or Muslim, or both. But in the meanwhile...

The Episcopal Church Tanks 

TEC's stats are in and what can we say? Don't worry. Be happy!

"To put some of these losses in perspective, in terms of membership, we lost the combined equivalent of the dioceses of Bethlehem, Central Pennsylvania, Delaware, Easton, Northwestern Pennsylvania, Southwestern Virginia, and West Virginia. Or (in Province IV) of Mississippi, Tennessee, and Western North Carolina. Or (in Province VII) of Arkansas, Fort Worth, Northwest Texas, Oklahoma, and West Missouri."

Way to go, TEC.

And then there was Heather Cook, the onetime Assistant Bishop of Baltimore.

Shackled Felon 

"It was also revealed in Court that any civil claims and liability surrounding then-Bishop Heather Cook, the Diocese of Maryland and The Episcopal Church have been settled. Lawyers for the Palermo family confirmed such a resolution was hammered out but declined to provide details."

As Heather was going down, America was going up, in gun ownership.

Thanks, Barack and Hillary.

Gun Up! 

“Barrack Obama and Hillary Clinton are the best gun salespeople on the planet. The more they scream for new gun control laws the more guns walk off the shelves at gun stores,” said Alan Gottlieb, the head of the Second Amendment Foundation. “To quote the lyrics of Peter, Paul and Mary, ‘When will they ever learn, when will they ever learn.’”

Apparently never, like our President's, ahem, resolve to destroy the murdering white tennis shoe savages of the Caliphate.

Radically Destroy Them 

“You are asking me how we can deal radically with ISIS. The only answer is to radically destroy them."

Canon Andrew White may affect a curious blazer rig but no-one can fault him for telling it like is.

Just so you know, White's a member of the Anglican Communion, which may have been found by stargazing boffins at the European Space Agency.

Anglican Communion Found by Astrophysicist? 

"Many other regions beyond our observable universe would exist with each such region governed by a different set of physical parameters than the ones we have measured for our universe..."

Maybe we'll see how it all ends in January, but one thing's for sure, the cutthroat War on Weather continues with a vengeance.

Winning The War on Weather

Not easy when El Nino's on the loose and the Antarctic ice cap's growing. But wars don't come cheap, so sue Exxon.

Good work, Hillary, et al. Speaking of which, People Don't Trust Her. 

Shocka.

And let's not forget the ongoing curse of the Diocese of Gloucester.

Beating The Curse of The Diocese of Gloucester

Gavin Ashenden wins the truth prize as another bishop figure falls afoul of the ancient curse.

"In the end, it is Scripture and the creeds that divide us. Bishop Rachel and those who appointed her and follow her are on one side of the divide; and the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church is on the other."

Perhaps the latter will somehow survive in the venerable CofE, but at ACoC's St. Albans, in Ottawa? Not so much.

The Anglican Church of Canada Misses Earth?

A mysterious skull-faced asteroid narrowly missed collision with our fragile island home, the earth. 

Or did it land at St. Albans, in Ottawa?

You, the reader, be the judge.

And don't forget, Hillary for Prison, 2016.

LSP

Lords of Light

I put a tree up today in Dallas, the very same one I got a week ago. I thought it looked pretty good in its stand. A little small perhaps, but full.

After the tree was up it was time for a few glasses of fortification and then lights. I put on a fair few; I think it's better that way.

Decorations can come later, nearer Christmas, but I did put a fairy on the tree, sorry, angel. There's a difference, trust me.

The angel has a wax head and was made in Germany. My parents bought it in Milwaukee, back in the olden days, when they still made angels out of wax.

I love the smell of a Christmas tree. The lights can be adjusted as the thing settles.

LSP