Shocking new evidence appears to show the small but aggressively transsexual Church of England disappearing into a portal in Yakutia, Russia, leading experts to claim that the venerable denomination has been hacked by the Kremlin.
Video footage shows the diminutive Church rising into the Russian sky before vanishing into a "portal."
The Church of England disappearing into a portal
"The strange video, seeming to show the Church of England full of lights in the night sky, has emerged in media circles in Yakutia, the largest region in Russia," stated one UFOlogist, "The small object is then swallowed by a portal. I think it was hacked."
Artist's impression
Reports of the numerically challenged denomination disappearing altogether have come in from several countries, including Canada, New Zealand and America.
A typical Russian hacker
However, when questioned about Russian hacking, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.
Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby
Archbishop Justin Welby was last seen pawning episcopal regalia on Detroit's notorious 8 Mile Road.
Space is Deep,
LSP
