Russians Hack Memorial Weekend!

It's raining here in Texas because President Trump G6'd the G7 climate deal, allowing the Russians to hack the weather and ruin everyone's Memorial Day weekend.

Sources claim that a top-level White House insider spoke with Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, opening up a special back passage which allowed the Kremlin to hack the weather, causing it to rain. The Kremlin hack, code named Soggy Bear, disrupted millions of Americans' cookouts.

President Trump unleashed a tweetstorm, accusing US media of promoting "fake news" in an attempt to get Hillary Clinton, but then went on to prove Russian collusion by addressing US troops in Italy, chanting "USA, USA!" 

Trump's display of traitorous sentiment at the close of his first foreign trip caused MSNBC's popular transsexual journalist, "Rachel" Maddow to call for the President's impeachment.

Here at the compound we're firing up the grill, despite our enemy, the Weather. Rumours of visiting Spetsnaz and Bear Cavalry officers are entirely without foundation.

God bless America.

LSP

Houses of the Holy

Don't get me wrong, country life is great, but I decided to drive to Dallas this evening with Blue Zeppelin, to grill out with GWB and his old pal CB. CB sells Old Masters; who knew there were any left to sell? Well, there are, but it's a "niche market." A good one to be in too, I'd imagine.

With that in mind, I made the drive to the frozen metrosprawl of Northern Texas in 45 minutes. I35 was apocalyptically deserted, which made for the good time. Of course some EOTW/SHTF scenarios would leave the highways impassible, choked with the wrecks of cars and trucks.

A good off-road vehicle might be helpful in that situation, or even better, the presence of mind to have a place in the country and the forethought to be there on time.

Be prepared,

LSP