Sunday, May 28, 2017

Russians Hack Memorial Weekend!

It's raining here in Texas because President Trump G6'd the G7 climate deal, allowing the Russians to hack the weather and ruin everyone's Memorial Day weekend.

Sources claim that a top-level White House insider spoke with Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, opening up a special back passage which allowed the Kremlin to hack the weather, causing it to rain. The Kremlin hack, code named Soggy Bear, disrupted millions of Americans' cookouts.

President Trump unleashed a tweetstorm, accusing US media of promoting "fake news" in an attempt to get Hillary Clinton, but then went on to prove Russian collusion by addressing US troops in Italy, chanting "USA, USA!" 

Trump's display of traitorous sentiment at the close of his first foreign trip caused MSNBC's popular transsexual journalist, "Rachel" Maddow to call for the President's impeachment.

Here at the compound we're firing up the grill, despite our enemy, the Weather. Rumours of visiting Spetsnaz and Bear Cavalry officers are entirely without foundation.

God bless America.



LL said...

The weather is nice in Southern California - but then again, we are paying the weather tax and we're fighting the Russians here.

Infidel de Manahatta said...

I hear Angela Merkel, the media's favorite "leader" is saying she can no longer rely on the U.S.

Good. Pay your own damn bills for once. We're tired of funding your socialist workers empire, Europe.

LindaG said...

I don't really remember a Memorial Day that it didn't rain, no matter where I was. Quite fitting, actually.

You all have a safe day and God bless.