Wunderwaffe!

 

Desperate underdog Ukraine needs help to defeat the Russian Bear. It's time, surely, to unleash the fury of our unconventional arsenal, International Cr*p Pop Stars, ICPS, Wunderwaffe if you will.

Try to imagine the appalling destruction of a Yoko unleashed on Moscow. Horrific.

Or St. Petersburg destroyed by Madonna, in an instant, Bono obliterating Donetsk while the Edge beats Berdyansk into total, utter submission.

That's not all, think of Geldof submunitions smashing Guards Tank Armies while Sting blasts Kherson. Brimstone and Treacle? Emphasis on brimstone, a hint? Perhaps.

Not a pretty picture, is it, and we haven't even begun. Picture Putin trembling in shock at a second wave Taylor Swift strike, the sheer force of its migraine inducing eyes bringing the strongest Russian combat units to their knees. 

Horrific? Yes, but such is war.

Peace Out,

LSP

Ascension

 

Look, cryptically named 'LSP,' you can't hit people with an evil gang music sonic attack on the Feast of the Ascension, even if it does make for an interesting musical parable of civil war and associated wickedness. 

Thus spoke the voice of reason over morning coffee on the back porch and I hit delete, such is the miracle of technology. Then the kid called in from Camp Humphreys in Korea, where he's getting ready to leave for Fort Hood in a month or so.

Part of the "out processing" involved a J&J Covid shot on Sunday, which caused such an allergic reaction that he ended up in hospital. He's recovered, thank God, and it's more than tempting to go on a rant about the evil chicanery that's overtaken us in the name of health and safety. But I won't, here's a prayer for the day instead:

GRANT, we beseech thee, Almighty God, that like as we do believe thy only-begotten Son our Lord Jesus Christ to have ascended into the heavens; so we may also in heart and mind thither ascend, and with him continually dwell, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.

 

God bless,

LSP

France Launches Peace At Raqqa

In a stunning show of force, James Taylor and a holographic John Lennon are being beamed in to Paris by Senator John Kerry to finally, once and for all, defeat the Jihad. Yoko Ono is also slated to appear, in what pundits are predicting to be the "most significant rally for peace since Band Aid." 

The Talent That is Yoko

Who knows, maybe the incredibly talented vocalist, Yoko, will shriek the Jihad into submission. Failing that, France has launched a massive Peace Raid on the Caliphate's capital, Raqqa, consisting of 20 bombs. 

Vive

Yes, 20. It's a lot like the allied bombing raids on Nazi Germany, only way smaller. Still, despite their reputation, the French can be made of pretty stern stuff. Maybe the attack on our frenemies, ISIS, will continue.

Good Luck, Paris

In the meanwhile, Paris, already reeling from one attack, steels itself for Yoko. It survived ISIS, at no little cost to itself. It remains to be seen whether this iconic city will survive the sonic assault of the genius that is Yoko.

All you need is love,

LSP