Wunderwaffe!

 

Desperate underdog Ukraine needs help to defeat the Russian Bear. It's time, surely, to unleash the fury of our unconventional arsenal, International Cr*p Pop Stars, ICPS, Wunderwaffe if you will.

Try to imagine the appalling destruction of a Yoko unleashed on Moscow. Horrific.

Or St. Petersburg destroyed by Madonna, in an instant, Bono obliterating Donetsk while the Edge beats Berdyansk into total, utter submission.

That's not all, think of Geldof submunitions smashing Guards Tank Armies while Sting blasts Kherson. Brimstone and Treacle? Emphasis on brimstone, a hint? Perhaps.

Not a pretty picture, is it, and we haven't even begun. Picture Putin trembling in shock at a second wave Taylor Swift strike, the sheer force of its migraine inducing eyes bringing the strongest Russian combat units to their knees. 

Horrific? Yes, but such is war.

Peace Out,

LSP

Will The Torture Never Stop?

 

"Have we not suffered enough?" sobbed Annalise Kovalenko over the sonic attack, "Please, will this torture never stop?" Kovalenko is just one of many innocent Ukrainians scarred by what appears to be yet another incident of "friendly fire" in the war torn nation, an impromptu gig by Bono and Edge in the Kiev metro.

The number of civilians injured by the Bono-Edge anti-personnel munition is currently unknown but could reach into the 100s. Codenamed PopStar, the aging Bono-Edge is designed to deliver devastating losses on concentrations of troops and material, but clearly missed its target.

This is the latest example of outdated Western military aid gone awry, following Pelosi, Darth-Blinken, BoJo, DocJill and RainbowJustine "smart" bombs landing on Ukraine's capital city. Here at the Compound we have to ask, what next, the ancient Geldof submunition? 

And perhaps cynically, are we deliberately depleting our outdated military stockpiles with a view to replenishment and profit, all at the expense of Kiev and its people?

Sunday Bloody Sunday,

LSP

Correction!

Sometimes I get it wrong, it's understandable, we all make mistakes and sometimes they're grievous. Bluesun spotted mine:


"I think any public figure that Bono has mentioned in song should automatically qualify for 5 alien heads before anything else is taken into account."


Well said, Bluesun, I stand corrected.

8 Heads!

Tutu gets another alien head, automatically, and a further three for crazy off-world antics. That brings the total up to eight.


By no means shabby. Well done, Desmond.


LSP