Is Hillary Clinton An Android?

Why doesn't presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, sweat? Why do her eyes operate independently of one another? Why does her speech sound fabricated, somehow false and inhuman, and why does she appear strangely unsexed? Is it because "she" is, in fact, an "it," an android artificial intelligence?

Robot Eyes

According to a well placed source in the Intelligence Community, Hillary, or "Hillbot" as it's called by its handlers, is in reality a DAARPA manufactured android:

The Witch Mk II is good for what it is, but it's DAARPA 2gen tech (second generation technology). Sure, it can look good and even sound pretty human, then it starts to go awry. Its hands tremble, it falls over, its eyes don't focus and it gets locked into this creepy grin. Sometimes it swears uncontrollably. It's cold-fish-frigid, we call it 'Hillbot.'

The malfunctioning 'droid admitted it was a robot in an interview with the millionaire socialist fashion magazine, Vanity Fair. 

AI Crash

You guys are the first to realize that I’m really not even a human being. I was constructed in a garage in Palo Alto a very long time ago. People think that, you know, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, they created it. Oh no. I mean, a man whose name shall remain nameless created me in his garage.

I thought he threw away the plans, at least that’s what he told me when he programmed me — that there would be no more. I’ve seen more people that kind of don’t sweat, and other things, that make me think maybe they are part of the new race that he created: the robot race.

Droid

Hillary Clinton, a robot. In its own words.

You be the judge,

LSP

Full Disclosure!

UFO theorists are predicting that US President, Barack Obama, will finally reveal the existence of space aliens, in a last ditch attempt to save his floundering "legacy."

Barack Obama

Seen by many as a millionaire socialist who cares more for golf on the prestigious Martha's Vineyard playground of the super rich than he does for the needs of the people, full alien disclosure could well secure Obama's place in the presidential hall of fame. According to one disclosure expert, Stephen Bassett, revealing the truth about aliens will give Obama a "legacy more profound than the coming of Christ."

Space Alien

“Disclosure is the most profound event in human history," stated Bassett to the UK's Express, "and if you are the head of state that lets it out, the one who brought the Truth to the world, you will leave a legacy more profound that the coming of Christ.

“If you think being Jesus Christ is a big deal, being the Disclosure President is a bigger deal!”

Hillbot

However, the Truth could be closer to home than pundits predict, with Alien replicants hiding in plain sight, in the heart of the Washington establishment itself. "We've known about aliens for a long time," said one DC source on conditions of anonymity, "In fact, they struck a deal with the Government, space tech in return for positions of power.

Groper

"There's at least three. The Hillbot, a kind of teflon hybrid with a cazed lust for power, John Kerry, aka Woodentop, who has the ability to transform himself into a swift boat, and Joe Biden. We call Biden 'Groper.'"

Woodentop

Others aren't convinced. "It's obvious that the Hillbot, Woodentop and Groper aren't space aliens," stated one well-placed source, "They're clearly malfunctioning DAARPA AIs. Just look at the way the Hillbot keeps falling over, and that vacant stare on Woodentop's face, like the lights are on but no one's at home. I won't comment on Groper."

Groper Gets Down

Whether space aliens are alive and well at the highest levels of the US government, or whether America is being run by a series of malfunctioning DAARPA androids is presently unclear. 

The Truth

Will Barack Obama secure his place in history by revealing the truth?

Ex Machina,

LSP