Some people were freaking out, swallowing their tongues and going full panic Eschaton this morning because of 47's tariffs. As in, how dare a US president stop his country being ripped off! Now the world's going to END. So they shrieked as they tore out their hair, pulled out their teeth and gouged out their eyes (What? Ed.) in fear, shock, horror and heart stopping Panican dismay. But not us, no, here at the Compound we were excited. Why?
Because DIRE WOLVES are back. That's right, thanks to Texan ingenuity and can-do spirit, Dallas biotech start up Colossal Biosciences has successfully bioengineered two white Dire Wolves, the first of their kind since the formidable breed went extinct some 10,000 years ago. Why did they go extinct? Good question.
The appallingly smug leftist New Yorker risibly thinks Dire Wolves and similar megafauna were hunted to extinction by bloodthirsty humans who obviously weren't taxed and regulated enough. The Compound's boffins think differently. They believe a celestial cataclysm triggered massive, catastrophic, climate change, killing off Mammoths, Saber Tooth Tigers, Mastodons, Dire Wolves and the like. But that's as maybe, the long gone wolves have returned in the form of two adorable pups, Romulus and Remus. Here's TIME, which somehow still exists:
Romulus and Remus are doing what puppies do: chasing, tussling, nipping, nuzzling. But there’s something very un-puppylike about the snowy white 6-month olds—their size, for starters. At their young age they already measure nearly 4 ft. long, tip the scales at 80 lb., and could grow to 6 ft. and 150 lb. Then there’s their behavior: the angelic exuberance puppies exhibit in the presence of humans—trotting up for hugs, belly rubs, kisses—is completely absent. They keep their distance, retreating if a person approaches. Even one of the handlers who raised them from birth can get only so close before Romulus and Remus flinch and retreat. This isn’t domestic canine behavior, this is wild lupine behavior: the pups are wolves. Not only that, they’re dire wolves...
Or something very like it. The question is, what's next, what else will be brought back from the dead by some miracle of modern science? Who knows, perhaps ACoC, the Anglican Church of Canada, will once again walk the earth.
Cheers,
LSP
22 comments:
Hmmmm.......brought back from the dead. Well, a rather truncated list:
St. Peter
St. Paul
George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
John Adams
Andrew Jackson
Sam Houston
Robert E. Lee
Stonewall Jackson
T.R.
John Pershing
Ike
Omar Bradley
George Patton
Chester Nimitz
Robin Olds
John Boyd
Curtis LeMay
Who else?
Dammit, Wild, you have a point.
Most likely what will happen is that the Elites will steal the technology and bring themselves back from the dead while rest of us get turned into fertilizer.
NW, can you imagine their living/undead state?
Interesting concept considering the liturgical time…but a great list WWW.
I’m in the camp of “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” (Same goes with GoF DNA manipulation of viruses). This wolf resurrection work is dangerous stuff…didn’t these people see Jurassic Park?
All white men! Why are you a negro-hating misogynist, WWW?
I'm inclined to agree, Paul. Still, Saber Tooth Tigers would be cool.
Good Lent point, Paul.
Exactly, Mike. Wild must report himself. IMMEDIATELY.
Oooopsie! My privilege is showing! I shall report myself immediately to the re-education camp. Look for me next to the stove, at least until WSF and, more importantly, Banner arrive.
Meanwhile, in atonement:
Walter Williams
Booker T. Washington
Booker T. & the M.G.'s
Junior Walker
Buddy Miles
Nanook of the North
Quinn the Eskimo (everybody gonna jump for joy when he gets here)
Geronimo
Chief Joseph
Sitting Bull
Pocahontas
Fauxcahontas
Ahab the Arab
Jane Mansfield
Howz that?
Meant to include Quannah Parker. Ooopsie!
Only if they are released in blue run cities.
'Twas indeed a cosmic event that did all those big furry things in 10K yrs ago.
The last major Ice age, brought on by the passage of Earth through the "Richardson Wave", a dust lane occupying part of the orbit of the solar system around the center of the Milky Way. Every 12K years or so, we go through it and become dark and cold for a long spell and take shelter in caves, suffering humongous decimation of population.
The things they are finding at Giza beneath the pyramids represent the pinnacle of civilization prior to the last time.
One begins to understand why the "historians" keep telling us that this is the first rise of civilization and not the 100th.
Can we encode the Saber Tooth Tigers to eat the most severe miscreants of society?
Of course, I must do this comment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWY4hyIlsqQ
Decent start. But needs more stronk, beautiful, feminist womyn. At least two of the following three:
Betty Friedan
Bella (O the irony) Abzug
Shulamith Firestone
It would be interesting to birth a clone from the DNA they pulled from the 5000+ year old dude frozen on a mountain. We can then see if wokeness is a genetic injury.
Firestone: I'm not easily moved where left-wing wackos are concerned, but what a sad and unfortunate story.
Sadly, Fauxahontis isn't dead, she just looks it.
The International Lord of Hate (aka: Larry Correia) made the most perfect statement on his X account regarding the Dire Wolves.
Ten minutes after the dire wolf return story broke:
Unscrupulous breeder: “Hear me out. DIREDOODLES.”
Yeah, probably happen.
And, of course, the reason most mega-fauna all died off was mega-fauna work better in cold eras (conservation of heat.)
You can see this by the difference in grey squirrels. Seriously. Squirrels.
Same breed of squirrel in Florida is a bushy-tailed tree rat that would take 4-5 to assuage the hunger of a normal human being, even when made into squirrel stew or gumbo. Go to northern states and the same scrawny squirrel is now about the size of a small cat and 1 will feed 1 person, 4-5 will make a multi-day meal or feed a family well. Big difference between the two? Heat, or lack of it.
As to what to do with the Dires. Release them. In Los Angeles. Maybe NYFC or Chicago. New Orleans. Washington, DC. Otherwise kill them and stop the research.
It would be more acceptable to bring back passenger pigeons or dodos than some prime predator.
And, really, it's a wolf. Wolves are not the nice, noble, gentle, graceful, intelligent canines the Leftists wish to make them out to be. Wolves are straight-up killing machines that, singly or in a group, have been seen to wage war and to go on mad killing sprees for the fun of it. So, no, kill the wolves, kill the coyotes, kill the coywolve crossbreeds, kill the dires, kill them all.
There are real actual reasons why the correct translation of a Russian phrase is "Throw the baby from the troika." Which means, toss out a baby (or oldster if available) to the wolves so as to slow them down so you can save everyone else in the sleigh.
Wolves... F them. With fully auto fire if necessary.
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