Melania Mondays!

You've been waiting for it, we've all been waiting for it. Yes, Melania Mondays! is back, bringing you the latest in the life of America's glamorous First Lady. And what news it's been, as the former Slovenian model stepped out before the nation and the world at her husband's Inauguration.

Was she poised? Yes. Elegant? Undoubtedly. Did she make Jackie Kennedy look somehow frumpy? Some say that she did.

The Military Love Melania

Was the Sargeant who got to dance with her at the Armed Forces Ball a lucky man? Yes, he undoubtedly was. Is she the best looking First Lady ever? 

Melania gives the Magic Muslim and SloJo The Look

Maybe not to Rosie O'Donnell, laughably narcissistic Shia LeBoeuf, aging poptart Madonna and deranged Ashley Judd, but to everyone else the answer's obvious. Yes she is.

Well done, Melania, for doing your not inconsiderable best to make America great again. The nation is grateful.

MAGA,

LSP

Escape Shia LaBeouf Go On Retreat

In a desperate attempt to escape the millionaire socialist antics of Shia LaBeouf, I'm driving to Lake Dallas and our annual clergy retreat.

It'll be good to get away on the peaceful shores of the lake and enjoy the company of faithful clergy. There won't be any priestesses, clown liturgies, interpretive liturgical dance and Islamic calls to prayer.

Go on, shoot the Mohammedan rug

There won't be any women's marchers wearing weird hats. Neither will there be super rich commie protesters like Shia LaBeouf, stoking up fauxtrage.

I'm looking forward to it.

God bless,

LSP

Trolling The Fauxtrage, Shia LaBeouf

Just for Keks, here's the risible Shia LaBeouf getting trolled by 4chan /pol/

Millionaire Socialist Shia's net worth is $25 million.

Well done, team.

Kek out the JAMS.

LSP

Poetry, Innit

Thanks, LL.

Recessional - Rudyard Kipling

God of our fathers, known of old, 

Lord of our far-flung battle-line, 

Beneath whose awful Hand we hold 

Dominion over palm and pine— 

Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, 

Lest we forget—lest we forget! 

The tumult and the shouting dies; 

The Captains and the Kings depart: 

Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice, 

An humble and a contrite heart. 

Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, 

Lest we forget—lest we forget! 

Far-called, our navies melt away; 

On dune and headland sinks the fire: 

Lo, all our pomp of yesterday 

Is one with Nineveh and Tyre! 

Judge of the Nations, spare us yet, 

Lest we forget—lest we forget! 

If, drunk with sight of power, we loose 

Wild tongues that have not Thee in awe, 

Such boastings as the Gentiles use, 

Or lesser breeds without the Law— 

Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, 

Lest we forget—lest we forget! 

For heathen heart that puts her trust 

In reeking tube and iron shard, 

All valiant dust that builds on dust, 

And guarding, calls not Thee to guard, 

For frantic boast and foolish word— 

Thy mercy on Thy People, Lord! 

As you reflect on Recessional, ponder this. Churchill's bust is back in the Oval Office. Glory has returned to Israel.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Say A Prayer, Heathen

Worship

Listen up, heathen. It's Sunday and time to feast but also to pray. Some argue the two go hand in hand, but I won't preach as I do enough of that, ahem, already.

Anyway, here's a prayer (Collect) for the day:

ALMIGHTY and everlasting God, mercifully look upon our infirmities, and in all our dangers and necessities stretch forth thy right hand to help and defend us; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And for all you Latin Mass trads, here it is again, with a fuller doxoloy:

OMNÍPOTENS sempitérne Deus, infirmitátem nostram propítius réspice: atque ad protegéndum nos, déxteram tuæ majestátis exténde. Per Dóminum nostrum Jesum Christum, Fílium tuum, Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitáte Spíritus Sancti, Deus, per omnia s ǽcula sæculórum.

I tell you this, I prefer the Latin Mass but I like the Epistle and Gospel in English. I don't care either way about the sermon. 

God bless,

LSP 

Trump Street Art & Ashley Judd

While deranged millionaire socialist celebrity, Ashley Judd, was getting ready to recite a poem accusing Trump of incest with Ivanka,  Sabo was plastering Los Angeles with street art. Here's a sample:

Crazy Ashley Judd works as an actress and she went to school. But the nutty socialist never protested against bomb dropping Obama and no one takes her protest seriously.

As a wealthy commie, super rich celebrity Ashley Judd isn't a Republican, but many call the mentally unstable actress activist a "punk."

Ashley Judd isn't a member of Rage Against The Machine but she's a hypocrite millionaire socialist all the same.

Being a socialist means that Ashley Judd has a net worth of $22 million. She is famous for her great acting talent and for telling the world that she was glad she aborted her baby.

I'll leave it to you to decide if Ashley's simply crazy or a Satanist.

Cheers,

LSP

Lock Her Up!

A friend sent in this helpful infographic. As you enjoy its wisdom, reflect on the Women's Marches that are going on around the known world in protest against Donald Trump. 

One of them is taking place in London and a member of our UK Bureau had this to say.

The largest landlord in London in terms of area and value of property is the Emir of Qatar.

So who do you protest against?

1. An absolutist monarch, who runs his country according a Salafist interpretation of Sharia Law, with 1.5 million people living in slavery and where women have to wear  the hijab.

Or:

2. Donald Trump.

For London feminists  the answer's easy. Donald Trump every time, because he's so much more evil than the radical Islamist Emir, that great respecter of women's rights and freedom. Go on, ask one of Qatar's female slaves and see what they tell you.

Oh, you can't, they're not allowed to speak.

Feminists, you're risible. As for Hillary, Lock Her Up.

Your Friend,

LSP

It Looked To Me Like Populism

politicians prospered but the factories closed and the jobs left (DJT)

Trump was mocked by the overwhelming majority of the media, he was scorned by the establishment inside the beltway ruling elite, and ridiculed by Ivory Tower experts on the right and the left. He wasn't even a politician. Then he won.

No wonder. 8 years of Obama produced over 90 million people not in the workforce, some 50 million on foodstamps and home ownership at an all time low since the 1950s. In other words, a lot of poverty and grinding hopelessness while Washington politicians grew high on the hog. 

Out of touch, privileged, and richer than ordinary Americans could ever hope for, they didn't see Trump coming. Then BOOM. Here was a man who spoke to the people  and promised a return to prosperity at the cost of a corrupt governing elitocracy, and that carried the election.

No wonder. Bring jobs and manufacturing back, have a border, restore power back to the people from crony pay-to-play ridden Washington, be strong at home and abroad, reverse the carnage in our cities. All this and more and it resonates in a way that federal legislation forcing transgender bathrooms in public schools doesn't.

Sorry, that's not a Russian spy job, it's common sense and it's stirring. We heard it today at Trump's inaugural speech and if he delivers on even half of it we will have been well served.

In the meanwhile, 217 people were arrested for rioting in DC today. Their massive protest didn't turn out to be so big after all. Go figure, it wasn't popular. 

Let's hope Mr. Trump continues to confound his critics and makes America great again.

Steak for all, 

LSP

Screaming Snowflake

Not everyone's happy with President Trump, but I'll resist the temptation to tell this screaming snowflake young man to check his white privilege.

MAGA,

LSP

Congratulations Mr. President

Here's Trump's epic Inauguration speech. He begins by caning the Washington establishment with his pledge to transfer power and prosperity from the government to the people and ends with a promise to make America great again. 

Commentators are calling it an "historic moment." Sure sounded that way to me; now it's time to live up to the not inconsiderable promise.

Here's a link to the transcript.

Congratulations, Mr. President,

LSP

Gloucester Cathedral Goes Dhimmwit

The Church of England's famous Gloucester Cathedral went full-on dhimmwit the other day by inviting a Moslem Imam to give the Islamic call to prayer in the once Christian cathedral's Medieval Chapter House.

Imam Hassan of the Gloucester's Masjid-e-Noor mosque gave the Islamic call to prayer on cathedral property, provoking outrage on the part of Christians.

So Inspiring!

Comments such as, "My ancestors built this cathedral and to allow a practising Muslim to pray to another God is insanely naive. What did you think it would do? Encourage them to convert?" and, "This is why England is on the downslide. Culture and Race have nothing to do with the first commandment as God made all races and he cares about souls only," caused Gloucester Cathedral to shut down a Facebook page on the event.

Now I'm Inspired!

The Imam's appeal for people to become Muslim in a Christian Cathedral was part of a wider art exhibit called "Faith" which featured Buddhist chanting, Rasta drumming, Hindu dancing and a pagan pop band.

Now I'm Really Inspired!!

How many people attend Gloucester Cathedral on any given Sunday is a mystery, as is the rumour that the ill-fated diocese suffers under an ancient curse.

Kizmet,

LSP

Deep State Biden Goes Full Buffoon

Outgoing US Vice President, Joe Biden, has blasted Vladimir Putin, saying the Russian leader would upset the liberal New World Order.

DAARPA Class II Groper

Readers of this infosite know that Joe "Biden" is a buffoon. You may not know that it's a malfunctioning DAARPA designed A.I., code named "groper" by its handlers.

Groper

But now you do.

Rise of the Robots,

LSP

Whining Crybaby Losers and Chelsea Manning

There were tears on the faces of some White House aides

Obama staffers aren't too happy about leaving their privileged White House positions and looking for work as bus boys, valets and call girls in the nation's wintry capital. Josh Lederman, writing for AP, describes the overwhelming sense of pathos and tear stricken tragedy.

In between closing out final projects and typing up reports on the work they've done, White House staffers are packing away their knickknacks, coffeemakers and photos. 

I reflected on Josh's mawkish drivel excellent article as I walked Blue Patriot through the leafy boulevards of Dallas. It seems the Democrat Losers are lost in an unending labyrinth of fear, anger, denial and grief. 

Vladimir Putin, on the other hand, has wasted no time in declaring Russian women of a certain kind "the best in the world." Speaking of women, Barack Obama has pardoned the curiously named Chelsea Manning.

Bradley

Leaving aside the rights and wrongs of Bradley Manning's treasonable activity and the suggestion that his pardon collapses the phony Russian hacking narrative, how is he a "woman"? 

Seriously, what makes Manning a woman? His mind?

Your Friend,

LSP

Astroturfing The Fauxtrage

Astroturfing is the practice of masking the sponsors of a message or organization (e.g., political, advertising, religious or public relations) to make it appear as though it originates from and is supported by a grassroots participant(s).

It's no secret that furious SJWs, Clintonistas and associated fellow travelers are planning to descend on Washington DC to disrupt Trump's Inauguration. But is this movement fueled by outrage or fauxtrage, is it real turf or astroturf?

If companies like Demand Protest are anything to go by, it's the latter. 

According to the Washington Times, Demand Protest has run ads in over 20 cities, offering people a $2,500 monthly "retainer" and $50/hour provided successful job applicants take part in 6 protests a year. Full time "operatives" do even better, and get health, vision and dental insurance. Nice work if you can get it. And who pays for the ads? The people who want Demand Protest's services.

Demand Protest tells prospective customers that they're "strategists mobilizing millennials across the globe with seeded audiences and desirable messages." And guess what, they specialize in "discretion" so your phony rent a mob won't get traced back to you. 

"With absolute discretion a top priority, our operatives create convincing scenes that become the building blocks of massive movements. When you need the appearance of outrage, we are able to deliver it at scale while keeping your reputation intact."

How fortunate, discrete astroturf fauxtrage that won't dent your moral standing. But who are Demand Protest's clients? 

4Chan users suggest George Soros, who has funded the Occupy and Black Lives Matter movements. Whether any money's left in the coffers of the Clinton Campaign for paying protesters remains to be seen.

In the meanwhile, watch out for fauxtrage on Inauguration Day. And if you want to get paid to attend the historic event, why not contact demandprotest.com and collect your check.

LSP

Putin Calls Dossier Creators Worse Than Prostitutes

Russian strongman Vladimir Putin has shown the world once again that he's a Boss, by calling out the creators of an attempted smear dossier on President Trump "worse than prostitutes."

Via ZeroHedge:

Unsubstantiated allegations made against Trump are “obvious fabrications,” Putin told reporters in the Kremlin on Tuesday. “People who order fakes of the type now circulating against the U.S. president-elect, who concoct them and use them in a political battle, are worse than prostitutes because they don’t have any moral boundaries at all,” he said.

The Russian president, cited by BBG, said that Trump wasn’t a politician when he visited Moscow in the past and Russian officials weren’t aware that he held any political ambitions.

Putin did not stop there and said that the compromising report compiled on Trump was a "hoax", and told reporters that "prostitution is an ugly social phenomenon," adding that people who stand behind "fabrications" being used against Trump "are worse than prostitutes."

The Russian leader also took aim at the outgoing Obama administration:

Putin noted that there is a category of people who leave without saying goodbye, "out of respect for the present situation," while others say goodbye all the time, but do not go away. "The outgoing administration, in my opinion, belongs to the second category," he said.

Question. Have any of you seen such drama, anger and turmoil in the transition of one administration to another?  I haven't and, for me, that signifies that Trump is doing something right to so furiously enrage our professional ruling caste.

Cheers,

LSP

Should Englishmen Be Allowed Firearms?

Maybe yes, maybe no, but I wouldn't want to be the Jihad when it all kicks off. To quote the Iron Duke:

I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me.

Thanks, JS, for the infovid.

England Forever.

LSP 

Anglican Instruments of Communion Flash Past Space Station!

UFO enthusiasts were stunned when live footage from the International Space Station (ISS) revealed the Anglican Instruments of Communion flashing past the spaceship like bright lights.

In live footage uploaded by ET experts, mysterious glowing lights can be seen moving across the backdrop of planet Earth. However, when the strange Instruments of Communion get too close for comfort, an astronaut appears to block the camera's view.

The Instruments of Communion

This has led some experts to speculate that the long lost Instruments of Communion do, in fact, exist. However, conspiracy theorists claim that the lights are part of an elaborate "cover up."

"These are some incredible clips, I've never seen any of them. How could anyone possibly debunk these?" said one UFO pundit, while a conspiracy theorist stated, "No one's fooled. It's an elaborate cover up by Lambeth Palace, they don't want us [to] know that the Instruments are lost in space."

Cover Up?

The enigmatic Anglican Instruments of Communion are: The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Lambeth Conference, the Primates Meeting and the Anglican Consultative Council. 

A Space Alien

These were reported missing in the 1970s when the Episcopal Church (TEC) ordained women clergypersons and have been sporadically sighted over the last 40 years.

Justin Welby's Tailor

Archbishop Justin Welby was unavailable for comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Melania Mondays!

Time, like life itself, doesn't stand still and a whole week's passed since the last exciting installment of Melania Mondays! So what's been happening in the life of America's refreshingly attractive First Lady? Entente with Russia, that's what.

Victoria Tsyganova Shows Off Her New Collection

Famous Russian singer Victoria Tsyganova has sent Melania a special parcel via the Russian Post, a cashmere and fur jacket. According to Sputnik News, the singer hopes "that this jacket… will warm Melania's soul in difficult moments."

Furloving Melania

Here at the Compound we applaud this heartwarming gift to Melania and hope that the glamorous Presidential Consort's appeal to the Russian people will continue to play its part in thawing the recent Democrat fueled freeze in US/Russian relations.

Heartwarming Melania

Well done Melania for doing your part to stop an unnecessary, absurd, blatant attempt to save Hillary's dismally losing face by reigniting the Cold War.

Keep it up, First Lady!

LSP

Fog of War, Spaghetti Update

The fight against evil doesn't stop because there's a bit of fog on the road, making Lake Whitney look like a scene from an Arthurian legend. That's why you have to climb in your truck and brave the fog of war on the weather to get to Mass.

Also, like any soldier, you need to eat right in order to take the fight to the enemy, so I'm grateful for all the spaghetti suggestions and offer the following update.

I like everything about this safe space.

One senior member of the intelligence community sent in this helpful tip: "You might want to add some gunpowder for flavor." Good call, I will. An art philosopher recommended "a pinch of sugar" to reduce acidity and Marmite as a flavor enhancer. Well said, I'll take that as an imperative! Then a well known nature theologian said "add some shrooms!" Alright, I will.

Another pundit again told me to add some ginger nutmeg and a bit of chili powder to the sauce "because that's the way the Italians do it." Right on, I'm up for it.

Some Italian Handgun

Then there's the gun. Several firearms specialists said "no, a handgun is not 'optional'," you need it to "defend your dinner." OK, I'm convinced. Logic.

Defend Your Dinner! And Your Rods! With, er, a .303 Battle Rifle.

So thank you for the helpful suggestions. The quest for the perfect Spaghetti Bolognese continues.

God bless,

LSP

Cooking With LSP, Spaghetti -- UPDATE

"What!" you say in that exasperated I've got better things to do with my time tone, "Cooking with LSP? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Not so fast, large international readership, you can cook with LSP and here's how.

Tomatoes

Go to Walmart and marvel at the guy with a shaved head and an eagle tattooed across his scalp, then pick up 2 Ilbs of ground beef, 80/20, an onion, some garlic, a big can of tinned tomatoes and its diminutive brother, tomato paste. Guess what, none of this is expensive or even hard to find.

Spyderco

Then take your haul home in the rig and get down to business. First, chop up the garlic, around 3 cloves, and a medium onion. Perhaps you use a Spyderco Perseverance for this arduous task, perhaps you don't, there's no rule. 

Next step. Make like a Sovereign and pour a tablespoon of olive oil in a pot, add the onion and garlic and heat it up until translucent; do not burn the garlic like a fool.

Mix It Up

Add two thirds of your six buck Walmart 80/20 and brown it off. Stand back in amazement as the fat renders off the ground beef and pour in a big can of whole tomatoes and half a can of tomato paste. 

Feeling confident in your culinary expertise, spice it up with some basil and a couple of bay leaves. Don't be shy of salt and pepper and, if you're not on the pledge, some red wine.

Optional

Speaking of which, this is a good time to have a well deserved drink. After all, you've earned it, but don't forget your food! Stir the in potentia Spaghetti Bolognese around with a wooden spoon, bring it to a boil and then reduce heat. Let that bad boy simmer away covered for an hour or so, give it time to rest, then serve with spaghetti and Parmesan cheese.

Come Together

And that's the way I do it. Some people use fresh as opposed to canned tomatoes and I admire that, way to go; I can't be bothered. Others add carrots, celery, mushrooms, corn, sugar, whatever. I don't, I think that's a mistake.

Don't add carrots.

Sidearms are not essential to this recipe but they help, and remember...

Every gun is a loaded gun.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

*******************************************

UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE   UPDATE

*******************************************

The handgun is NOT optional.

A pinch of sugar, chili powder, and mushrooms are advised.

Gunpowder may be used. Marmite may be used.

END