SkunkWorks

Here at the Compound we like to think of ourselves as enterprise-wide solutions providers. And thanks to our uniquely qualified international knowledgebase, SkunkWorks, we're able to offer you expert real-world solutions in real-time, at lightning fast speed. 

For example, your dog gets skunked bringing business to a grinding halt. Always mindful of cost/benefit ratio, you look in-house and wash the reeking, toxic animal with ketchup. Result? The animal turns pink and smells like a poison Bloody Mary. Your workforce walks off site and a nightmare turns into a disaster. 

A disaster that shouldn't have happened. Our expert consultancy would have told you that the right way to deal with the problem is 1 large bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide, 2 teaspoons of liquid dish soap and 1/2 cup of baking soda. Mix and apply incrementally to the canine, rinse and repeat if necessary.

Here's what customers say:

"My kitty looked like a show cat after this. She shone."

"Deacon was a beautiful Golden retriever, then the skunk got him. Thanks to SkunkWorks we go our dog back."

"This works. Time is money and SkunkWorks got us up and running in double quick time."

Why the success? We know that skunking is acid carried by oil and that liquid dish soap cuts the oil, while Hydrogen Peroxide and baking soda neutralizes the acid, delivering a skunk free dog.

Value? Priceless. 

LSP

Welby's Chinos!

They're here, they're there, they're everywhere, you guessed it, Welby's Chinos! 

Never one to stand on ceremony, Old Etonian Archbishop Justsin likes nothing better than to throw down his finely tailored Saville Row suits and pull on a pair of happy go lucky chinos.

Africans Amazed At Welby's Chinos

As a heartfelt proponent of cross-dressing for children, Welby favors the insouciant "whiter shade of pale" chino over its more formal variant, the traditional khaki.

Welby's Chinos Closeup

On TV and off TV, in Synod and out, strolling down the Mall with all the other swells or hanging loose in Old Compton Street, you name it, Archbishop Justin's right at home, in his free and easy cotton twills.

Don't Laugh At The Chinos!

So whether you're rocking a tutu and a fireman's helmet, a tool belt or tiara, never fear, Justsin's here, in chinos!

Bell Harry Forever,

LSP

Church Of England Goes Tiara Tutu

Just when you thought the venerable if shrinking CofE couldn't get any more dysphoric, it did, instructing its schools to encourage boys to dress up in tiaras and tutus. Here's an excerpt from the declining denomination's new rainbow guidelines for primary school teachers:

Tutu

For example, a child may choose the tutu, princess’s tiara and heels and/or the fireman’s helmet, tool belt and superhero cloak without expectation or comment. Childhood has a sacred space for creative self imagining.

 A Beautiful Unicorn

How many senior clergypersons enjoy dressing up in the tutu/fireman's helmet combo is presently unknown.

Justsin Welby

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has endorsed the trans promoting document.

All the colors of the rainbow,

LSP

Sutherland Springs, Apocalyptic Reflection

Last Sunday we walked out of Mass uplifted, at least I did, refreshed in mind, body and spirit and then on arriving back at the Compound, pouring a glass of the right stuff and clicking on Drudge, things didn't seem so good.

There it was, Devin Kelley had killed 26 people and wounded at least 20 in an act of murderous, irrational, rage. "Why," asked one hardened LE Officer, "was it Satan?" Good question. Try phrasing the act another way. "A man of iniquity, full of bestial wrath, blasphemously profaned the Temple with the blood of the martyrs."

Satan

Put that way, Kelley's massacre sounds apocalyptic and it was, quite literally, for his victims; they met their last day. As such, Sutherland Springs serves as a partial type or prefigurement of the Apocalypse. What does this look like? We know the broad outline because Christ tells us, in Matthew 24.

Wars and rumours of war, earthquakes and false Messiahs. Here we find the birth-pains of the second Advent. Then follows the birth-crisis, the triumph of paganism and the setting up of idolatrous cult, the abomination of desolation on Mount Zion, accompanied by ferocious, such as the world has not yet seen, persecution of the Church. 

Virgins Wise And Foolish

The Apostle Paul and St. John The Divine  add to the mystery, telling us that this phase of blasphemous ascendance is led by a man, the son of perdition, or Antichrist, who is endowed with supernatural ability to "deceive the very elect." At this time there will be a great "falling away" or apostasy.

Then after the travail comes birth itself, the second Advent of the Son of Man, presaged by cosmic upheaval, who appears on clouds of divine glory to vanquish evil and vindicate the faithful. At last the Bridegroom returns. In the onrushing face of this, where do we stand?

A Typical Wise Virgin

Hopefully like the wise virgins who had the sense to stock their lamps with oil.  Herein lies a symbol. The lamps represent faith, which holds the light of good works, of mercy, love, forgiveness and compassion, all fueled by the oil of love and the indwelling presence of the Spirit who is the personification of love.

The message, then, is simple. We must be filled with the fire of divine love, as light shining in the darkness and then, when the Bridegroom finally appears, we will see Him and He us, granting us admittance into the marriage feast of the Lamb.

Bad Virgins!

To return to Sutherland Springs; those people, knowingly or not, were prepared for their apocalypse. They were loving God in worship. 

May God grant us grace to do the same. And, not to put too fine a point on it, if you're licensed, carry.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Frontier Justice

My Great, Great Grandmother was driving through Midland, Texas, sometime in the 1920s and stopped her car at an intersection. It was the oil boom and some 60 years off the War of Northern Aggression.

A man appeared at the door and demanded she give him her money. She reached inside the glove compartment of her vehicle and produced a revolver, which she pointed directly at that man's face. He ran.

They were made of stern stuff, those women.

I file this narrative under "frontier justice" in '20s Texas.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Veterans Day

They're playing the Last Post from the courthouse right now and the mournful sound is carried on the wind over the town. 

Pray for those who made the ultimate sacrifice and for all veterans and members of the armed forces. 

Almighty God, we commend to your gracious care and keeping all members of our armed forces at home and abroad. Defend them day by day with your heavenly grace; strengthen them in their trials and temptations; give them courage to face the perils which beset them; and fill them a sense of your abiding, mighty presence wherever they may be; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Rest eternal grant unto the fallen, O Lord, and may light perpetual shine upon them. May they rest in peace.

God bless,

LSP

Don't Be Shy, Bless The Boat

Some compounds are difficult and full of bad craziness, other compounds are full of boats. I visited one of the latter today and was pleased to see a near completed catamaran before it was taken down and shipped off to the coast for reassembly.

The DOG is without doubt an impressive catamaran project, based on Wharram's Tiki 38 and you can find details here, at acatnameddog. Good work, guys. 

After a quick tour I asked the builders if they'd like me to bless the boat, which I did, taking especial care to give the Aztec figureheads extra attention, "Let's make sure we drive the demons out of these," I informed the team, casting Holy Water at the idols with an impromptu aspergilium.  

Blessing over, we fell back to HQ and discussed .308 battle rifles, the .300 Blackout, small unit surveillance tactics and the vagaries of teenage boys. Thanks, BB for some good advice and congrats on your catamaran, excellent result.

Then it was time to traverse the inland sea that is Lake Whitney and get back to base, mission accomplished. Rumors of a new AR platform 7.62 unicorn slayer are entirely that, rumors, and quite possibly the result of Kremlin inspired fake news.

DOG spelled backwards is GOD. Make of that what you will.

Sail on,

LSP

Teeth

I know, you're thinking this is a post about the exotic Tooth Djinn, Huma Abedin, whose hopes for power were shattered by the repellent Weiner. 

Then again, maybe you think it's about Huma's special friend, the Old Crone, who was renowned for her fine teeth before she found herself "lost in the woods."

Or perhaps you're thinking it's about Joe "Trans" Biden, whose prize winning teeth were thwarted of presidential ambition when their billionaire backer, Prince Wally, got himself thrown in the Ritz slammer thanks to the Magic Kingdom's recent night of long knives.

 Good call, vast international readership but not so fast. Because this well known mind blog isn't remotely narcissistic, the teeth in question belong to me, kind of. It started back in January when I pulled myself together and marched into a catastrophically expensive dentist.

"Holy Horseman," he announced like a cowboy, "I'm gonna have to weld those sonsabitches together in case you sneeze and blow your teeth all over the cabin of that plane to London!" He did, and I managed a trip to England without losing the all important front runners. They stood firm, like our brave men at Waterloo or Jackson at Bull Run.

Once back in the Lone Star State, I dodged the Maseratis to get into the dental clinic. "Why howdy! They all gotta go," was the cheerful verdict and damning xray evidence backed it up. There was all kinds of infection lurking around the sturdy jawline. And that's bad because it can mysteriously navigate down to the heart and kill you, stone dead.

So out came the few remaining ivories, in went a couple of implants and on popped a set of falsies and a couple of bottles of synthetic opium. Opioids, they call it and apparently they're a scourge. Just see the video page of this blog and you'll see, QED.

Since then, life has been mostly about driving to Dallas to get the teeth seen to and today was no exception. You see, readers, getting bionic teeth replacement may sound like a walk in the park but it isn't. Still, thanks to the Diocese of Fort Worth it's possible. Thank you, Bishop Iker, 100%.

I file this story under "teeth in rural and not so rural Texas."

God bless,

LSP

MAGAversary!

A year ago today, Trump won and won big, shocking pundits, experts and media geniuses everywhere. So here's one from the vaults.

Keep it up, DJT, and drain the swamp.

MAGA,

LSP

Is This Wales?!?

No, it's not Wales, it's Texas and water was falling from the sky; Skywater, we call it, or "rain." It's falling now, in that persistent, steady way that makes Aberystwyth and Llandrindod Wells so appealing to holiday goers.

A Nonchalant Skywater Selfie

Of course here in the Lone Star State rain's a novelty to be enjoyed and the experts in off-grid, DIY preparedness tell us that enough falls to keep a homestead in water for a year. 

Shotgun's In Bits

You have to collect it in cisterns and then, when civilization falls, you can drink and wash like a Water Lord. We don't have cisterns at the Compound, foolishly, though there are plenty of guns and I took advantage of the rain to clean a few. 

Filthy Little Beast

It was relaxing to oil up the machinery of the things while listening to the soothing sound of skywater and I thought of the various adventures I'd had with them. Hunting the noble unicorn, for example. That made me want to get out in the field with a shotgun and blast away in the rain.

No, This Isn't Aberystwyth

Instead, I climbed in the rig and collected the Cadet from school. He's doing well, keep those As coming, kid.

Gun Rights,

LSP

UFO Hunters Find ACoC On Mars!

Amazed UFO hunters believe they've discovered ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) on the surface of the red planet.

Images of the crashed 1.3 mile long object were discovered in footage from NASA's Mars Global Surveyor, leading xenologists to conclude that ACoC had at last been found.

ACoC Enhanced

“I have processed, colorized and rebuilt the object and in my opinion it is ACoC," stated one expert, "The object is too degraded to enhance totally so I have rebuilt it using the points of interest, it's also over a mile long, so this must have been a mothership, either a Martian one or possibly an off planet alien species. That's when we realized we had found ACoC, but why did it crash?”

Why did it crash, on Mars?

Why Did It Crash?

That, readers, is a very good question.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Texas Massacre

Texas is rocked by the worst mass shooting in the Lone Star State's history. By now we all know the details, how Devin Kelley fired five magazines of 5.56 into a small church in Sutherland Springs, killing at least 26 people and wounding 20 more.

Thank God  for the plumber who had the bravery and skill to shoot and chase the deranged Kelley, putting an end to his killing. Kelley's motive? Apparently domestic conflict with his in-laws was the motive and doubtless his aggressive atheism made shooting up a church all the more appealing. 

How could this catastrophe have been prevented? By the Airforce reporting domestic abuse Kelley to the FBI on his dishonorable discharge, which might have stopped him from buying a firearm. Or, as a noted art philosopher commented, "By everyone qualified to carry a weapon actually carrying one." 

Good point. If everyone had been carrying their pistols Kelley wouldn't have got so far. That he did, and that such a thing occurred at all is a tragedy.

Pray for the victims of this atrocity and their families.

LSP