A New Dog

 

The operation got on the road to Burleson on Monday to take care of business. And so, to pass I35W time, I crunched the numbers and discovered that I was, bizarrely, 58 on that very same day. Here's the complex math: 2023-1965 = x. Tricky, isn't it, and hint, 59 ≠ x.

I know, that's pretty racist but there you have it, mathematics. Bottom line accountancy satisfied, business concluded to mutual benefit, Thai curry consumed, yum, and it was back on the road to the Compound where...

There was a dog on the porch and a grinning soldier. "Happy birthday, dad. We interviewed a number of dogs and figured this one was best. Look, he's part Ridgeback, and you love Rhodesia. He doesn't even bark."

Moving, eh? The kid had gone off to the pound and found a dog for his dad, with attention to breed(s) and demeanor. Well, there it is, the Compound has a new rescue dog and he's a good boy, part Ridgeback, part Heeler, part something else, maybe Lab and/or Pyrenees?

Regardless, what shall we call him? The  pound called him "Chester," which obviously won't do. Perhaps Rhodie? But hey, all suggestions welcome.

Hope you're having big fun today as we celebrate our freedom.

Green Leader,

LSP

ESCHATON

 

Thunder and lightning SMASH down upon this small asset-stripped Texan farming community, shaking the ancient wooden timbers (what?) of the Compound. Like no kidding, a ferocious storm, turning night into day with all the fury of an electric universe.

Yes indeed, the climate's changed with elemental, eschatological fury. And so we stand, undaunted, on the rain lashed porch, daring our adversary to do its worst. 

Seriously, this storm's pretty crazy, be safe out there.

Apocalypse,

LSP

SkunkWorks

Here at the Compound we like to think of ourselves as enterprise-wide solutions providers. And thanks to our uniquely qualified international knowledgebase, SkunkWorks, we're able to offer you expert real-world solutions in real-time, at lightning fast speed. 

For example, your dog gets skunked bringing business to a grinding halt. Always mindful of cost/benefit ratio, you look in-house and wash the reeking, toxic animal with ketchup. Result? The animal turns pink and smells like a poison Bloody Mary. Your workforce walks off site and a nightmare turns into a disaster. 

A disaster that shouldn't have happened. Our expert consultancy would have told you that the right way to deal with the problem is 1 large bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide, 2 teaspoons of liquid dish soap and 1/2 cup of baking soda. Mix and apply incrementally to the canine, rinse and repeat if necessary.

Here's what customers say:

"My kitty looked like a show cat after this. She shone."

"Deacon was a beautiful Golden retriever, then the skunk got him. Thanks to SkunkWorks we go our dog back."

"This works. Time is money and SkunkWorks got us up and running in double quick time."

Why the success? We know that skunking is acid carried by oil and that liquid dish soap cuts the oil, while Hydrogen Peroxide and baking soda neutralizes the acid, delivering a skunk free dog.

Value? Priceless. 

LSP

Texas Gold

We don't know where we'll end up, under the Divine Providence, in the grand lottery of life. Some find themselves in Detroit, others languish in Hipster Hackney, or Aberystwyth, which is a small crabbing community on the Welsh coast. Some, the lucky ones, land in Texas.

A Typical Texas Street Scene

And I'm not complaining; it has guns, horses, dogs and porches, it has Karen's Authentic Mexican Food, and the people are friendly too, mostly. It also has big skies and a sense of freedom, provided you don't mess up and live in Austin, but even that den of iniquity is better than Washington, Chicago, Philadelphia, or the so-called state of Delaware.

So count your blessings if you live in Texas, and thank God for His beneficent mercy. Rumors that the local Shamrock Pick 'n Steal filling station, in this agricultural haven that I'm writing from, sells watermelon flavored "blunts," may, or may not, be true.

God bless,

LSP

Front Office Rodeo

Not that you'd know it from browsing through this "site" but Lonestarparsonism does involve some work. There's the pastoralia that any clergyman should be about and the daily affair of running two missions. I say Morning Prayer ('28 BCP) then set up on the front porch with laptop, phone, coffee and gun. Then streams of people come by; I find that far more gets done that way than by skulking off, out of sight, at a desk. A lot of priests seem to do that and I'm not sure why. Perhaps they're scared of the people which is unfortunate, given the nature of the calling.

But it's not all about taking care of business on the front porch office. Sometimes it's about going to Waco for rodeo events.

Catch

These pictures didn't come out too well but maybe they give an idea of the speed and intensity of the thing. I enjoy the broncs and barrel racing - remarkable to watch the women run around the barrels then fly for the finish. 

Bronc

Then there's bull riding. A whole different level of dangerous and mad; there's that moment when the rider's on the ground and the bull's surging like fury. Where are the hooves going to land? Get away! Jaw dropping. 

Champion Team Ropers

Big thanks to Bud for the box tickets. Makes me want to ride Western. 

God bless,

LSP