They're Not Saying It's Aliens

But they're not saying it isn't, either, which is why ET boffins at SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) are tuning their telescopes onto a mysterious signal coming from a star in the Hercules constellation, HD 164595.

A tentative translation of the signal reads:

"I don't have a good answer to it. If we were the only Church here and [there were] no other Churches, and if division didn't matter it would be much easier to answer. We were traditionalist, then we were vicious. Now we just look odd."

The stargazing scientists who discovered the strange signal, led by Nikolai Bursov of the Russian Academy of Sciences’ Special Astrophysical Observatory, think that HD 164595 is as a good candidate for SETI investigation as any. “Permanent monitoring of this target is needed,” they say.

Others discount the signal as "meaningless gibberish."

"It's just stray signals being microlensed by the star's gravitational pull," said one SETI source, "They don't mean anything, it's meaningless gibberish."

Justin Welby, who is known on social media as the Deputy Anti-Christ, was unavailable for comment.

To the Stars,

LSP

The End of Days

Well, the summer sure went fast and now the cadets are back in their mountain fastness, the land of the ice and snow. The panfish in Lake Whitney are deeply relieved as are various species of small game, but Blue Loyalty is confused. "Where's the pack?" he seems to say.

In other news, a crazed Muslim knifed a French policewoman in the neck, in Toulouse. The fanatical Aloha Snackbar holy warrior was described as "mentally unstable" by authorities and we have to ask, why are so many Muslims mentally unstable? Is their religion a kind of psychic disorder?  

And people say DJT is a fascist for wanting to vett Muslim immigrants into the US? You know, just in case they're "mentally unstable"? 

Oh, what a Nazi for not wanting to import thousands of deranged Allahu Akbar head choppers into the country. Wake up.

Nuance,

LSP

Scorn Hippies, Again

What's the connection between A Train Robbery and hippies, you ask yourself, wonderingly. Simple. Hippies are notorious thieves.

Of course these days we don't have train robberies because there aren't any trains to speak of, sadly. And why hold up a train when you can rob an entire country?

Nuance,

LSP

Nuance

Everyone knows that this blog is about nuance, about finely weighed principles of cause and effect, theoria and praxis in the life of the mind as it plays out in the public square. Heck, it's like First Things but with pictures of Lena Dunham, Mantids, space aliens and Justsin Welby cruising the pawns.

So that's why we're bringing you Dom Garrigou Lagrange on the sin of intellectual pride:

So filled with their own learning, which has cost them so much, that their souls are saturated with it and no longer open to receive the superior light that would come from God in prayer.

Not bad, eh? In the future, when we win this war, every Harvard professor will have that tattooed on their forehead.

Nuance.

LSP

Listen Up, Heathen

I'd say this was especially appropriate to the way we live now. St. Thomas Aquinas, via Dom Garrigou Lagrange:

St. Thomas, who was exceedingly humble and magnanimous, established very well the exact definition of these two virtues, which should be united, and that of the defects opposed to them. He defined pride as the inordinate love of our own excellence. The proud man wishes, in fact, to appear superior to what he really is: there is falsity in his life. When this inordinate love of our own excellence is concerned with sensible goods, for example, pride in our physical strength, it belongs to that part of the sensibility called the irascible appetite. It is in the will when it is concerned with goods of the spiritual order, such as intellectual pride and spiritual pride. This defect of the will presupposes that our intellect considers our own merits and the insufficiencies of our neighbors more than it ought, and that it exaggerates in order to raise us above them.

Love of our own excellence is said to be inordinate as it is contrary to right reason and divine law. It is directly opposed to the humble submission of the defectible and deficient creature before the majesty of God.

Inordinate love of our own excellence. Dodge the flying monkey.

Salve,

LSP 

Microsoft, We Scorn You

Do you remember the good old days when you could buy the ridiculously overpriced and bloated MS Office? Sure you do, it was Halcyon, back then. But not anymore. MS Office sells itself as an "app" that you have to rent by the month or year. Not dissimilar to Adobe's incredibly awesome "Creative Cloud." Yeah, creative on the wallet.

Well guess what, NWO software overlords, Team LSP isn't falling for your little game. Bye bye, Illuminati elites, we scorn you.

Open Source,

LSP

Lena Dunham Launches Womyn Bishop Lingerie Line

Clay Golem

Popular body positive TV star, Lena Dunham, has launched a controversial lingerie line for women bishops.

Womyn Bishop

Labelled "Lonely," Dunham describes the racy underwear as a "love letter to yourself" and refused to have images of herself promoting the lingerie in Brooklyn photoshopped, so that womyn bishops would feel empowered about their bodies.

At Last!

But will cash-strapped prelates be able to afford Dunham's upscale boudoir wear? Not to worry, Lonely retails at a price even penny pinching Church of England bishops can afford, $60.

Justsin Welby

Lena Dunham is a wealthy celebrity socialist with an estimated net worth of $12 million. When asked whether Lambeth Palace endorsed Lonely, Old Etonian, Justsin Welby, declined to comment.

Cantaur,

LSP

Mystery Planet Home to ACoC?

The Anglican Church of Canada

Stargazing boffins have spotted a mystery world which may be home to the long-lost Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC).

Star Map

Astronomers at the European Southern Observatory discovered a world orbiting our closest star, Alpha Centauri, that's only four light years away. Because the mysterious planet inhabits the "goldilocks zone," allowing it to have liquid water, the planet may host life, and ACoC.

In Space No One Can Hear You Scream

Eager scientists are trying to find a way to send a gigantic robot probe to the planet to see if it's home to alien life forms. However, although close in astronomical terms, it would take 76,000 years to reach using present day spacefaring technology.

According to Nick Pope, a UK based UFO expert, the discovery is "game-changing."

Space Aliens

"This game-changing discovery may help us answer the question of whether or not the Anglican Church of Canada is in this universe," he stated, "Many people believe there are aliens out there and now it's possible they're our galactic next door neighbours."

The Church of England

The Anglican Church of Canada left earth orbit several decades ago and has yet to be found. Whether the tiny denomination will be discovered circling our nearest star is uncertain because of the distances involved.

Artist's Impression of a Light Sail Starship 

When asked if it was building a "light sail" to reach the far-off planet and make contact with the diminutive ACoC, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Spin

There's genius

And there's Genius.

Carry on,

LSP

This is Texas

Yes, Texas in August, where the temperatures rarely raise above the mid 80s and it rains constantly. Not what you expected, eh? No, and neither did we. What does this mean?

Well, obviously, that everyone's wet. Not politically, don't worry, no one's turning into a progleft shill for the New World Order! On the contrary, here on the compounds we're standing tall against all of that. But we do so in the deluge and some say this signifies a victory in the War on Weather, because it's colder.

Wrong. It's a defeat. Climate logic says that the warmer it is the colder it gets, and it's colder here than it should be, so we're obviously making the climate warmer. Settled science. Texans obviously need to pay more climate taxes, then they'll be warmer and richer.

She's no Hater, She's the Attorney General

In similar news, Dallas has said no to Obama's transgenderist school bathroom policy. This means that boys who think they're girls can't use girls bathrooms and vice versa. Does oppression know no bounds?

In the wake of the flood,

LSP

Full Disclosure!

UFO theorists are predicting that US President, Barack Obama, will finally reveal the existence of space aliens, in a last ditch attempt to save his floundering "legacy."

Barack Obama

Seen by many as a millionaire socialist who cares more for golf on the prestigious Martha's Vineyard playground of the super rich than he does for the needs of the people, full alien disclosure could well secure Obama's place in the presidential hall of fame. According to one disclosure expert, Stephen Bassett, revealing the truth about aliens will give Obama a "legacy more profound than the coming of Christ."

Space Alien

“Disclosure is the most profound event in human history," stated Bassett to the UK's Express, "and if you are the head of state that lets it out, the one who brought the Truth to the world, you will leave a legacy more profound that the coming of Christ.

“If you think being Jesus Christ is a big deal, being the Disclosure President is a bigger deal!”

Hillbot

However, the Truth could be closer to home than pundits predict, with Alien replicants hiding in plain sight, in the heart of the Washington establishment itself. "We've known about aliens for a long time," said one DC source on conditions of anonymity, "In fact, they struck a deal with the Government, space tech in return for positions of power.

Groper

"There's at least three. The Hillbot, a kind of teflon hybrid with a cazed lust for power, John Kerry, aka Woodentop, who has the ability to transform himself into a swift boat, and Joe Biden. We call Biden 'Groper.'"

Woodentop

Others aren't convinced. "It's obvious that the Hillbot, Woodentop and Groper aren't space aliens," stated one well-placed source, "They're clearly malfunctioning DAARPA AIs. Just look at the way the Hillbot keeps falling over, and that vacant stare on Woodentop's face, like the lights are on but no one's at home. I won't comment on Groper."

Groper Gets Down

Whether space aliens are alive and well at the highest levels of the US government, or whether America is being run by a series of malfunctioning DAARPA androids is presently unclear. 

The Truth

Will Barack Obama secure his place in history by revealing the truth?

Ex Machina,

LSP

Libs Mock You, Louisiana

While Louisiana hurts, millionaire socialists chowed down in Martha's Vineyard, vacation home of America's progleft ruling elite.

Louisiana Street Scene

Perhaps they did that because they just don't care. After all, why should they, when they're convinced of their own power, entitlement and right to rule. FBI, DOJ, Benghazi, illegal emails, pay-to-play foundationware etc, what difference does it make?

None, apparently, to the Dem agitprop shills in what passes for our media, but apparently lots to the people, who're polling for DJT. Who knows, maybe he's starting to campaign, and consider the optics.

The Campaign Begins?

At least Trump made the effort to get there, unlike the New Versailles Crew (NVC) in the Vineyard. He made it, you didn't, and any way you cut it that doesn't look good. In fact, it looks like you don't give a damn about the Americans you're claiming to represent and quite obviously don't. But how could you, you're NVC Vineyardists. 

A Queen

Let them drink champagne, like all the other socialists. But as you do, remember what happened to the L16. 

A Power Crazed Witch

It didn't go well for him or the unfortunate Antoinette.

Kick out the JAMS,

LSP

Rain and the Rich Reds

It wasn't a complicated plan, far from it. All we had to do was fish, ride and shoot, three eminently achievable objectives in LSPland. But our old enemy, The Weather, had a different idea and it began to rain. That started on Monday and it hasn't stopped, which derailed most of the fishing and all of the riding and shooting. It's no fun to go slogging around in the mud if you don't have to.

A Typical St. Tropez Poolside

In similar news, Leonardo DiCaprio met with his millionaire socialist friends in the well known workers paradise of St. Tropez to save the environment. They were particularly worried about overfishing, which is why the celebrity leftists reportedly dined on whole Sea Bass.

Saving The Environment, One Jet at a Time

DiCaprio raised $40 million for the environment at his St. Tropez celebrity socialist gala. How much of that was offset by the cost of private jets and a chartered Sea Bass fishing fleet is currently unknown. 

Millionaire Socialist Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio is famous for getting into trouble with a bear.

Fish On,

LSP

Milwaukee Cook-Off

Trill Ville

Have you noticed the pattern in our urban hellholes? A thug gets shot by a cop and all the other thugs go on a rampage. Baltimore, Ferguson, wherever, and now Milwaukee.

Where ya goin' with that neat hood, Ja'Kiri? Is that an African name?

Good work, Trill Ville. You pulled your stolen gun on a policeman and now you're dead, and what about the neighborhood. That just got worse too. 

Milwaukee Cook Off

But seriously, the Milwaukee spasm seemed especially nasty, with lots of "whites hunted for beatdowns."

Pull our Pants Up

Does that count as hate crime? It sure would, if the Nike was on the other foot. Ask yourself what that'd look like and as you do, reflect on Team Obama's responsibility. Would any of this be happening if that crew weren't encouraging it.

Chortle

I doubt it. And have they done anything to fix the problem, and there is one, aside from sloganeering and a tired, in denial, roll out of the policies that helped create the mess in the first place. Fine, go ahead and call thugs looting on behalf of a dead thug "civil rights." Go ahead and do that, but don't be surprised if no one's fooled, except, perhaps, Al Sharpton's bank manager.

Hmmm. Illuminati

In the meanwhile, I called a pal in Detroit last night, "Have you heard, Milwaukee's cooked-off. Better arm up, fella."

Mind how you go,

LSP