Glory Bee!

Sometimes a picture's worth a thousand words, and herein ends this evening's insightful political commentary. Cost? 1 Euro or to you, readers, free.

Moving from secular to, ahem, sacred, the Church of England's venerable Winchester Cathedral, founded in the 7th century A.D., has installed a Giant Bee above its front door.

That's right, a GIANT BEE. Here it is, getting ready to be hoisted up on the church's imposing western front. Attractive, isn't it. "But why," you ask, "this tremendous bee?" 

The Very Reverend Catherine Ogle, Dean of Winchester explains, "The bee is a great symbol of the beauty and intricate connection of creation," and, "The Giant Bee also symbolises the importance of recycling, incorporating materials that have been thrown away or donated."

Thank God for that. Who knows, perhaps Winchester's Giant Bee will play its part in reversing the CofE's unsettling decline, and it's serious. According to the UK's Guardian, Church of England attendance is at an all time low, with the number of people identifying with the state religion falling from 31% in 2002 to 14% in 2018.

Winchester Cathedral's press office announced its bold bee initiative with the arresting headline "Glory Bee!" Will this curious mix of parochial mawkishness meets green religion-of-the-hive convert the English? And if so, to what, the Bee Goddess?

Don't say Christianity.

LSP

Are UFOs A Threat To National Security?

"Holy s___, what is that?" exclaimed one shocked Navy pilot as a UFO darted across his field of view. But this wasn't an isolated report.

"It's white. It has no wings. It has no rotors."

"It didn't fly like an aircraft. It was so unpredictable—high g, rapid velocity, rapid acceleration." 

"I didn't see a trail."

"It was going 70-plus knots underwater."

These are excerpts from newly declassified military reports, in which top elite airpersons describe their otherworldly encounters with mysterious craft and the beings that pilot them.

Here at the Compound we have to ask, are these Unexplained Aerial Phenomena (UAP) on or off world? You, the reader, be the judge.

Lambeth declined to comment,

LSP

Cannibals And An Apology

Are these Deep State coup conspirators starting to eat each other in a cannibalistic feeding frenzy? Joe Hoft at the Gateway Pundit thinks so and Joe diGenova's advising Imam Brennan and Smirkin' Comey to lawyer up:

Joe diGenova: This is very serious business. For the first time I believe some of these guys are going to prison… Let me tell you something, Horowitz has already concluded that the final three FISAs were completely illegal. He’s now on the brink of finding that the first FISA was completely illegal. Durham has already used a grand jury in Connecticut. They’ve already gotten documents. He’s already talked to the intel people.

Laura Ingraham: How long has this been going on?

Joe diGenova: Durham’s been working for a couple months. The bottom line is this. This is now – big time! This is where Brennan needs five lawyers. Comey needs five lawyers.

Let's see, maybe the old Five Lawyer Trick will work, or not. Speaking of lawyers, here at the Compound we apologize for mistakenly claiming that the new top clergyperson in Jarrow is the Church of England's first ever transgender bishop. This inaccurate and misleading post has been deleted.

A Typical Transgenderist

The new Bishop of Jarrow, Sarah Clark, is not and never has been transgendered, which is clearly evident from photos of Clark's special promotion ceremony in York Minster. These can be seen here. 

We urge you to inspect these photos carefully because they show that the Bishop of Jarrow is not a man who has transitioned to female, but has always been a woman.

Your Friend,

LSP

No You Are Not Awesome

My, it being a Sunday, just look at these bishop figures. Imagine, if you can, so many people pretending to be something they don't believe in anyway. I like this infographic:

Touching, isn't it. Then there's the new bishop figure of London, pretty hot, eh? C'mon, COE, let's fill those empty pews!

But don't forget Gloucester, which labours under an ancient curse. Maybe Rachel's going to lift that because she's so feminine and gorgeous.

See, the thing is no one's going to take the venerable if disastrously shrinking Church of England seriously if they don't consecrate women to the episcopate.

Just you wait and see; something nasty in the woodshed? With apologies to the awesome Stella Gibbons, hardly, parading in plain sight.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Zero Point Energy

What is Zero Point Energy? Thanks to quantum mechanics and Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, we know that the absolute position and velocity of any particle cannot be simultaneously definable.

So even at a temperature of absolute zero, any substance must have a certain minimum energy. This energy is referred to as zero-point energy (ZPE). 

There have been speculations that usable energy might be extracted using ZPE but this is almost certainly pseudoscience.

Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

God bless,

LSP

The Feast of St. Thomas - A Helpful Meditation

It's the Feast of St. Thomas today. He doubted, like the Church of England itself but unlike the Episcopal Church, came to great faith.

Thomas scorned liturgical dance

And hated bad vestments

He was against wimmyn bishops, note Gloucester's teeth. And...

He stood for the Faith.

Here's the collect.

ALMIGHTY and everliving God, who, for the greater confirmation of the faith, didst suffer thy holy Apostle Thomas to be doubtful in thy Son's resurrection; Grant us so perfectly, and without all doubt, to believe in thy Son Jesus Christ, that our faith in thy sight may never be reproved. Hear us, O Lord, through the same Jesus Christ, to whom, with thee and the Holy Ghost, be all honour and glory, now and for evermore. 

Amen.

LSP 

Church of England Gets Trans Baptism Ritual

As all the world knows, the venerable if shrinking CofE's finally stepped up to the plate and decided to celebrate, bless and affirm transsexuals in a special new naming ritual taken from the Affirmation of Baptismal Faith (ABF).

The new trans worship ceremony's like a Baptism that isn't a Baptism and includes, if High Church desired, anointing with oil, a splash of water and, of course, prayers and a blessing. 

Point being, don't feel like a blasphemous parody of a man or a women. Instead, celebrate your new identity; choice of personal pronoun? Rigorously observed. Such is freedom from tyranny in the 21st Century.

Imagine, just like women's ordination, how this prophetic stance will fill the pews. Until it doesn't. And we have to ask, how many "thought leaders" in the Promethean attempt to overthrow the chains of DNA, Chromosomes and biology itself are ritual occultists? 

To what extent is the decision making body of the Church of England given over to the Adversary. Does that sound extreme, do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law?

To help you formulate an answer, here's a picture of Bruce Jenner. If you want to read about the Church of England's new Strategy For Mission, go here.

All means all,

LSP

Cheer Up!

I apologize. This lighthearted mind blog's become a bit serious, full of letters by French Generals, photos of aging female trolls, assorted Illuminati stooges and the dupe pawn jihadi shills of the NWO. So cheer up and enjoy America's popular and glamorous First Lady looking good on deck. 

And some rod and gun. Shakespeare Ugly Sticks guarding an SKS. Proper little Chicom blaster. Nice, right?

But what about this, a plush unicorn "comfort sock," which has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the Church of England. Beautiful, isn't it.

And for good measure, a lovely Christmas tree ornament.

There, better already!

Your Friend,

LSP

State Religion Goes Dhimmwit In Blackburn

If you're a state religion, like the Church of England, it'd be a bit odd if your teaching didn't mirror the state's. Which is awesome as long as the state's Christian, but what happens when it isn't?

Imagine a mythical country where everyone thinks you can change your biologically given gender at will and that anything less is an attack on freedom. 

The freedom to be what you wanna be regardless of your chromosomes. Sure, you've still got to slave away at the cubicle for the Man but you can do it in a frock, because now you're free.

OK. The State Church supports this in our imaginary country and starts telling its few believers that there's no such thing as the fatherhood of God and gets rid of all his oppressive personal pronouns. Boom. Liberty at last.

Now take this small thought experiment a step further.  Say you live in a small town, let's call it Blackburn, where 25% of its 100+k population are Muslim and you decide to hold an "anti war mass" on Armistice Day eve. What happens?

Being a reflection of the state of things, an imam gets up during the beautifully pacifist liturgy and incites Jihad with the Muslim call to prayer or Adhan, thus claiming the cathedral for Islam. 

Speech, as it were, notoriously enacts and there it is, a once Christian cathedral becomes a mosque in the imaginary land of the dhimmwits.

You can read all about this make believe scenario here. The Archbishop of Canterbury's preference for a genderless God is as well known as his love for chinos.

Good luck, CofE,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Writes Pope

An anonymous source has leaked damning correspondence between the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and Pope Francis to the Press.

Via Ignatius:

Dear Frank,

I have to admit that I am envious.

As your Synod on Yoof comes to an end you are in the happy position of being able to oversee the drafting of the final document without fear of contradiction. I, on the other hand, am little more than a servant of our General Synod, tied hand and foot by quasi-democratic red tape.

What cheers me is that – au fond – we have identical aims and objectives. We both see the future in an accommodation to the general drift of Western values. Of course, with women’s ordination and casual abortion, we are way ahead of you. But there are new inclusions that we can work for together. What a triumph if you could smuggle a reference to LGBTQERTY into your final document!

Our task is to remedy the declining number of believers by adapting the Faith to what people really do believe. Then we can claim that the majority have been Christians all along and call it ‘evangelisation’.

At the moment, as I am sure you will agree, things are going swimmingly. Though to be honest I have mixed feelings about euthanasia – still, I suppose we will find ourselves embracing it in the end.

Keep up the good work,

Your affectionate ‘partner in crime’,

Justin.

Welby, head of the worldwide Anglican Communion, is popularly known as "Justsin." Stay tuned for further revelations.

Your Old Pal,

LSP 

Lord Tebbit Calls Bury's Gay Dean A Sodomite

Top Tory grandee, Lord Tebbit, has called Bury St. Edmunds' new gay dean a "sodomite" and is boycotting worship rituals led by Joe Hawes, who lives with his partner, Rev. Chris Eyden.

"I find it difficult to accept a sodomite as a member of the clergy who will, for example, be called upon to conduct marriage services," said Tebbit, "I will struggle to attend if he is officiating."

Bury St. Edmunds Cathedral

The outspoken Tory peer went on to assert his belief in the Bible and denounced homosexual activity.

"I just don't see how he can decently read the marriage service. I stand by what is written in the Bible, which is the basis on which the cathedral was built. It says the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by God."

The Flag of Bury St. Edmunds Cathedral

"It cannot be a sin to be born homosexual. It is what one is. What I can't accept is the activity. I use the expression sodomite."

Lord Tebbit stated that he would continue giving financially to the cathedral, which he believes will "be there long after the dean and I are gone."

Hawes and Eyden

While the Church of England hasn't approved gay marriage ceremonies, Hawes and Eyden live together in a civil partnership, which is allowed by the denomination with the proviso that the partners don't have sex with each other.

Hawes

One UK Barrister who wishes remain anonymous, commented, "Remarkable. One of the few occaisons I find myself in agreement with Norman Tebbit in 38 years. Clearly there's hope and redemption for us all."

God bless,

LSP

Time Traveler Brings Back Photos Of Life On Mars

Proof has finally emerged that life exists on Mars, in the year 3812. Photos brought back by a young time traveler known only as "Mary", reveal buildings, a cathedral, and humanoid creatures living on the inhospitable surface of the red planet.

“Mars was very interesting and at the same time very frightening," stated Mary, 37, "It looked like a desert with many buildings and York Minster, I immediately took a photo. You can see the spaceships on which we came, you can also see the buildings."

The time traveler met with one Mars creature who called himself "Justsin" and wore a black coat. The humanoid took her for a ride in his flying car to see "the Sentamu."

“I was walking through the city when a man came to me who was wearing a black coat. His name was Justsin, he asked me to follow him to see 'the Sentamu' and we walked away and went to his car. 

"I couldn’t forget that emotion when I was flying above York Minster, on Mars.”

Ad Astra,

LSP

The Diocese of London Caught On Camera?

Disturbing photos show what appears to be the declining Church of England's Diocese of London. Once a proud stronghold of Anglo-Catholicism, the Diocese of London has seemingly fallen on hard times.

According to one expert, "I’ve loved this diocese since I was a kid. Now look at it, an alleged half-man, half-fish that looks like the charming end of a monkey carcass coated with leather and shoe polish and fastened to the backside of a mackerel."

Others aren't convinced. "This may look a lot like the Diocese of London," stated one pundit, "But it's just a fake mermaid. You can see it on display along with the Anglican Church of Canada at Banff's Indian Trading Company."

Is this eyeless, dried out hybrid all that remains of the once mighty Diocese of London or is it merely a carnival stunt in Justin Welby's ever shrinking big tent?

You, the reader, be the judge,

LSP