Memorial Day

I know, you're busy setting up firewalls and improving your IT security architecture in case the Kremlin hacks your grill and ruins all those steaks and hamburgers. But still, take some time to remember the fallen. Here's a prayer:

Almighty God, our heavenly Father, in whose hands are the living and the dead: We give thee thanks for all thy servants who have laid down their lives in the service of our country. Grant to them thy mercy and the light of thy presence; and give us such a lively sense of thy righteous will, that the work which thou hast begun in them may be perfected; through Jesus Christ thy Son our Lord. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

Russians Hack Memorial Weekend!

It's raining here in Texas because President Trump G6'd the G7 climate deal, allowing the Russians to hack the weather and ruin everyone's Memorial Day weekend.

Sources claim that a top-level White House insider spoke with Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, opening up a special back passage which allowed the Kremlin to hack the weather, causing it to rain. The Kremlin hack, code named Soggy Bear, disrupted millions of Americans' cookouts.

President Trump unleashed a tweetstorm, accusing US media of promoting "fake news" in an attempt to get Hillary Clinton, but then went on to prove Russian collusion by addressing US troops in Italy, chanting "USA, USA!" 

Trump's display of traitorous sentiment at the close of his first foreign trip caused MSNBC's popular transsexual journalist, "Rachel" Maddow to call for the President's impeachment.

Here at the compound we're firing up the grill, despite our enemy, the Weather. Rumours of visiting Spetsnaz and Bear Cavalry officers are entirely without foundation.

God bless America.

LSP

Bodyslam A Guardian Reporter, Win An Election

Everyone wants to do it and now someone finally has, that's right, bodyslam a Guardian reporter and win an election.

Montana Republican candidate, Greg Gianforte, finally snapped at Guardian journalist Ben Jacobs' aggressive questioning and bodyslammed the hack to the ground, allegedly punching and breaking her spectacles. 

The move resonated with voters who had lost patience with the antics of the lying, corrupt, elite, mendacious, smug, condescending mainstream media.

When Gianforte apologized in his victory speech for attacking the aggressive reporter, saying that he "made a mistake," supporters shouted out, "Not in our minds!"

One commentator summed up the mood of the electorate, "With distrust and hatred of the lying media at all time highs, what Gianforte might have done might have gotten him more votes. Ben Jacobs, you are nothing but a pathetic, left wing hack and a hypocrite. Let UK Guardian pay for your new glasses."

Ben Jacobs is suing Greg Gianforte for assault. Greg Gianforte is enjoying his handy win in the Montana election. 

Whether this is the start of an encouraging trend has yet to be seen.

Carry on,

LSP

Breakfast And Fish

One of the things I like to do is go to the local Cowboy Church's men's breakfast. They're good guys who aren't afraid of their faith and I always leave uplifted in spirit. Speaking of which, one of the cowboys had lifted up his Jeep, it's called Bad Santa.

After a frugal meal of scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy, I went fishing with a couple of the breakfasteers on Lake Whitney, on a boat. It was neat to scud over the choppy water at speed, with the spray and the wind whipping past. Similar, in a way, to an all out run on a horse; a whole lot of speed. I like that.

We cast about in coves, inlets and along sand bars and banks but the going was slow. Then Seagulls appeared, feasting on baitfish and sure enough, a school of Sand Bass wasn't far behind. There they were, churning up the water in a ferocious feeding frenzy.

Brisk action and it was catch as fast you could cast and then the Sandies were gone, surging after their prey. We got on them, along with a few Stripers, two more times before they disappeared into the depths. Big fun.

Then it was time to head back to the Compound, mission accomplished.

Thanks, JH and SO. Great result.

Fish on,

LSP

The Feast of the Ascension

It's the great, and all too sadly ignored, Feast of the Ascension today in which we celebrate the ascent of Christ into heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father as our eternal mediator and High Priest. 

Austin Farrer reflects on this upwards movement:

WE are told in an Old Testament tale, how an angel of God having appeared to man disappeared again by going up in the flame from the altar. And in the same way Elijah, when he could no more be found, was believed to have gone up on the crests of flaming horses. The flame which carried Christ to heaven was the flame of his own sacrifice. Flame tends always upwards. All his life long Christ's love burnt towards the heart of heaven in a bright fire, until he was wholly consumed in it, and went up in that fire to God. The fire is kindled on our altars, here Christ ascends in fire; the fire is kindled in the Christian heart, and we ascend. He says to us, Lift up your hearts; and we reply, We lift them up unto the Lord.

And here's today's Collect:

GRANT, we beseech thee, Almighty God, that like as we do believe thy only-begotten Son our Lord Jesus Christ to have ascended into the heavens; so we may also in heart and mind thither ascend, and with him continually dwell, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

Cleaning Guns The LSP Way

People often ask me, how do you clean guns the LSP way? And I reply that it's much like any other way except it's mostly done on the porch, in Texas. But this evening I had a nasty surprise.

I'd no sooner stripped down the BCG (bolt carrier group) of one of the compound's deadly assault rifles when I noticed it was filthy dirty. Obviously the Russians had hacked it, in a desperate bid to subvert the weapon's democratic process.

Hacked

Thanks to Hoppe's solvent, oil, a bore snake and a thorough scrubbing, the carbine was soon back in working order, kremlins removed. All's well, fortunately, that ends well.

Send Her To Raqqa

In related news, a grassroots movement to send Katy Perry to Raqqa, is sweeping America. Whether Katy will enjoy coexisting with the Caliphate remains to be seen.

Gun Rights,

LSP

Dhimmwhit Katy Perry Says No Borders After Manchester Bombing

Multimillionaire pop superstar socialist, Katy Perry, has reacted to the Manchester bombing by calling for "love" and "no borders."

In an interview on Elvis Duran and the Morning Show, following the bombing, Perry stated, “Whatever we say behind people’s backs, the Internet can be a little bit ruthless as far as fan bases go but I think that the greatest thing we can do is just unite and love on each other. No barriers, no borders, we all just need to co-exist.”

Well isn't that precious. If we didn't have any borders there'd be no more war and everyone would love on each other in the New Globalist World Order. Beautiful, until a fanatical Mohammedan detonates a nail bomb at your pop concert, Katy.

Rumors that Perry took part in yesterday's "binding spell" against President Trump are unconfirmed.

Katy Perry is a registered dhimmwit.

ISIS laughs,

LSP

Riding With LSP

Do you, so-called LSP, remember how to ride? To find out I went to the Heart ranch and made friends with Trace, again. And I tell you this.

Riding is good for mind, body and spirit and, in the bucolic Mesquite groves of Olde Texas, especially awesome.

Beat the Jihad.

Ride on,

LSP

May Doesn't Get It

Via Jihadwatch:

“The Prime Minister vowed to ‘defeat the ideology that often fuels this violence’, saying: ‘We struggle to comprehend the warped and twisted mind that sees a room packed with young children not as a scene to cherish but as an opportunity for carnage.'”

Ms. May, here is a clue to help you comprehend that kind of warped and twisted mind: “Indeed, Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and their properties, for that they will have Paradise. They fight in the cause of Allah, so they kill and are killed.” (Qur’an 9:111)

You will not, of course, pursue that line of inquiry, because to do so would be “Islamophobic.” And so you will never defeat this ideology, since you refuse even to admit that it exists, much less formulate effective ways to counter it. You will never comprehend these warped and twisted minds, because you refuse to admit that they’re warped and twisted because of religious teachings that you insist are wholly benign.

 Benign

You will never comprehend these warped and twisted minds, because you refuse to admit that they’re warped and twisted because of religious teachings that you insist are wholly benign.

Good point, Mr. Spencer, and if it's the case that our ruling elites and their shills in academia and the lying media are incapable of defeating this barbaric ideology, other people are. 

Multiculturalism

In the meanwhile, watch in open-mouthed wonder as the left's multicultural project produces the exact opposite of its intended result.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Manchester Jihad

The fanatical Muslim terror group, ISIS, wasted no time claiming responsibility for today's horrific bombing in Manchester, which left at least 19 dead and many more wounded.

Police speculate that a suicide bomber detonated a nail bomb at an Ariana Grande concert in the Manchester Arena, possibly in the foyer. 

According to one concert goer, "There were thousands of people trying to get out at once. They were all screaming and crying. The whole place smelt smokey and burnt."

Manchester is home to a high concentration of Muslims, such as Raphael Hostey, aka Abu Kakka al-Britani, who boasted of recruiting hundreds of UK Muslims for ISIS. Abu Kakka was killed in Syria last year.

At the risk of repetition, how many more people are going to have to die before the religion of peace is exposed for what it is, a fanatical, barbaric, political death cult.

Stay tuned for a media frenzy denouncing Islamophobia in the wake of Muslims murdering people and yet more doubling down on the brazen lie of Mohammedanism as Buddhist franchise, only way, way more peaceful.

Note this, the concert was full of young girls. 

Good work, multiculturalists.

Kizmet,

LSP

Melania Mondays!

If you're a millionaire socialist New Wave has-been, like Bob Geldof, you don't like Mondays and want to shoot the whole day down. But we don't feel that way at the Compound because Monday means Melania Mondays! 

A Millionaire Socialist

That's a cause to celebrate as Melania dazzles the world on her first foreign policy trip. Hailed as Trump's "breakout star", the glamorous First Lady's been turning heads from Riyadh to Jerusalem.

Hailed by local Arab press as "conservative and classy," Melania wowed onlookers from the moment she stepped off Airforce One and only continued to impress. 

Whether walking with royalty, spending time with children or holding Israel's First Lady's hand, Melania won hearts and minds.

Well done, First Lady, for doing your part to make America great again.

MAGA

LSP

Lavrov Trolls Lying Media

Sergey Lavrov, Russia's Foreign Minister, has accused our lying, elite, corrupt, fake media of being no better than than the agitprop organs of the now defunct Soviet Union, Pravda and Isvestia.

Via Zerohedge and Russia Insider:

I sometimes get the impression that many US media outlets work according to a principle which was common in the Soviet Union. Back then people used to joke that the newspaper Pravda [Truth] had no truth in it, and the Izvestia [News] paper has no news in it. I get the impression that many US media operate in the same way.

Perhaps you remember the days when we prided ourselves on a free objective press and freedom of religion. To say nothing of a fair degree of liberty from the forceful appropriation of the benefits of our labor by an all powerful State.

How things have changed. Russia has a flat tax of what, 13%? And they're allowed to pray in state-run schools, unlike us. In the meanwhile, our once objective media runs unsourced Democratic Party hit pieces on the person who had the sheer, brazen temerity to beat central state globalist Hillary, and beat her hard. That would be Trump.

In other news, what's on Huma/Weiner's laptop? 

Your Old Buddy,

LSP

Are Women Priests Awesome?

Women priests, commonly known as "priestesses," awesome or not so awesome? That depends on who you speak to. Katherine Jefferts Schori thinks they are.

Justin Goofing Off With Priestesses

So does Justin Welby, the chino-wearing leader of the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC).

Typical Priestess Street Scene

On the other hand, Archbishop Okoh, who leads Nigeria's 20 million+ Anglicans, takes a dim view of priestesses. So does the Pope, the Ecumenical Patriarch and the Bishop of Fort Worth, Jack Iker.

If You Don't Ordain Women No One Will Go To Church

The conservative-minded Anglican Church in North America (ACNA) can't quite make up its mind and produced a report, outlining arguments pro and con. Both sides of the issue, says the report, have Godly integrity.

Is She or Isn't She

They do? One side emerged from God-hating feminist cultural Marxism and the other didn't. Likewise, one side destroyed Anglican sacramental unity, turning WAC (Worldwide Anglican Communion) into WANC, and the other didn't. And who was it that shipwrecked the chances of Anglican unity with the great churches of the East and West? 

A Dancing Priestess

As you reflect on these difficult questions, I'll leave you with a short rhyme.

Jefferts Schori

Woman priest? No such beast.

LSP

Trump Shakes, Like A Boss

When he's not busy being a Russian spy, President Trump's in Saudi Arabia with his glamorous wife, eating steak, cutting billion dollar deals and guess what?

Bowing Lackey

Not bowing. That's right, Trump doesn't bow to the House of Saud, like a craven poltroon or some kind of lackey. No, he shakes hands with the King like a Boss.

Like a Boss

Some say that's a refreshing change. In the meanwhile, pass the steak and let's have some ketchup, while we're at it.

MAGA.

LSP

Putin Plot To Lock Her Up

Shocking revelations have emerged of yet more Russian meddling in our democratic process, showing that the popular slogans "Lock Her Up!" and "Crooked Hillary" originated from  the Kremlin and Vladimir Putin himself.

Thanks to internal security expert, Maxine Waters, we now know that chants asking for Hillary Clinton to be "locked up" and accusing the rightful heir to the US presidency of being "crooked," were invented by Putin.

“I think that when you saw him, absolutely, calling Hillary ‘crooked,’ the, uh, ‘lock her up, lock her up,’ all of that was developed. I think that was developed strategically with people from the Kremlin, with Putin,” stated Waters on MSNBC.

These stunning allegations come on top of no evidence whatsoever that Donald Trump is a Russian agent who ruined Hillary Clinton's chance of the presidency. But imagine, for a moment, that the allegations are true and Putin really did reveal the deceit, cronyism and corruption at the heart of our political establishment and wrecked its pantsuited mouthpiece's bid for power and yet more wealth. More than that, he started a movement to imprison Hillary for her crimes.

Imagine that. Well then, I'd argue, with LL and others, that Putin, who runs KAOS and SPECTRE, deserves a medal. In the meanwhile, she's crooked.

So LOCK HER UP.

LSP