Melania Mondays!

It's Monday and everyone's happy because that means Melania Mondays! and another episode in the life of America's popular and glamorous First Lady.

No, You're Not

Michelle Obama thinks she's the country's "Forever First Lady" or FFL for short. But Michelle isn't our First Lady, some say she isn't even a lady at all but some other kind of thing. 

Here at Melania Mondays! we can't say what that other "thing" is because we don't want to scandalize the children, but we can say that Melania is definitely a woman and really is the country's First Lady. Unlike Mitchell Michelle.

Warmhearted Patriot

And being a warmhearted patriot who loves our Armed Forces, Melania devoted part of her Mother's Day to honoring military moms.

MAGA

Well done, First Lady, for doing your part to make America great again, and the nation's glad you're making a good recovery after your procedure this morning.

MAGA,

LSP

Robots To Care For UK Elderly

Artificial humanoids, or "bots," have been tasked with caring for the elderly in cash-strapped Great Britain's old folks homes.

Unable to afford the human touch, UK caregivers are increasingly turning to robots to look after the elderly and provide companionship.

“We want to explore to what extent they might prevent loneliness and isolation, improve mental health and reduce family caregiver stress,” stated Dr. Chris Papadopoulous, from the University of Bedfordshire.

The low-level bot artificial intelligences will be equipped with a tablet on their chests, enabling the frail and elderly to skype, tweet, email, play games, post to Instagram, Snapchat or even chat via Whatsapp while being reminded of when to take their medication.

What could possibly go wrong?

Vladimir Putin has been reelected to the Russian autocracy and is hailed by many as a new Constantine. 

#WeAreRussianBots,

LSP

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day; I hope you've all had a fantastic time with family, friends and hopefully, your Mothers. Here at the Missions we celebrated in good form, with feasting after the Masses and a lot of fun it was too. Well done, team.

Then it was back to the Compound to regroup, get collected and look to the next evolution, which weirdly enough turned out to be fishing.

Useful

Things were a bit crowded at the top secret Texan location today, on account of all the Mother's Day fishing expeditions and perhaps the pier pressure scared the fish off. 

At any event, the going was slow for the first hour or so but I didn't care, it was good to see families having fun at the water.

Awesome

Picture the scene, Grandfather and Grandson, Father and Mother, all fishing away with Grandma sensibly sitting in the shade but smiling on.  

Heartwarming and I especially liked the Grandfather, who went by "Pappy." He came from a more civilized time and fished away with lures and jigs while I cast away with savage worms.

A Mother's Day Catfish

At one point the old gentleman pulled up a fishing rod, a fairly new one, too. I congratulated him on the catch and we laughed; a good moment. 

Fierce Little Predator

Then thump, tug, the fish switched on at last and with it a brisk hour or so of reeling in mostly small Bluegill. Hey, a fish is a fish and on a light rod these perch put up a fun fight. 

Country Life in Texas

I left as my new friends went after Bass with topwater lures and the sun was setting over the still, glassy waters of the lake.

What a good day.

God bless you, Mothers,

LSP

UK Goes Full Thought Crime

Or at least it will if new sentencing proposals for provoking online  "hostility" towards people with "protected characteristics" are enacted. 

Offenders could face up to 6 years in prison for posting things on the internet that are hostile to “race; sex; disability; age; sexual orientation; religion or belief; pregnancy and maternity; and gender reassignment.”

For example, if you were evil enough to post, "Islam is a devil inspired death cult whose founder, Mohammad, was a pedophile, rapist warlord, and transsexuals are blasphemous parodies of women," then you might get in trouble and go to jail.

Or maybe you're hostile enough to tweet, "Hillary is a lame Old Crone who had degenerate sex with Yoko Ono," all the while having the temerity to broadcast Russian infographics of the last President.

Well then, if you were online hostile enough to do that you might end up in the slammer for six years. So much for freedom of speech, and since when was it some kind of Gaia-given right to rainbow ride your way through life without being offended by contrary opinion?

For that matter, who decides who and what's on the list of "protected characteristics", a lesbian theater collective in Dalston and their Islingtonite patrons on the judiciary? And where does thought crime begin and end, what constitutes "hostility"? 

According to several UK police forces "dislike" and "unfriendliness" define the term, neatly criminalizing the entire populace at some point or another. And if you think that sounds Orwellian you'd have a point, and a frightening one.

Then again, the whole tyrannous edifice of trans rainbow utopian orthodoxy might fall apart under the weight of its own absurdity before any real harm's done. 

Like really, you're going to imprison people for saying there's something weird about trannies and pride parades and something violent about a religion that's been waging war against the world since its inception?

Go ahead and try it but don't be surprised if the law's held in contempt. Speaking of which, this internationally acclaimed mind blog has been banned from Facebook and Instagram.

Must be doing something right.

Cheers,

LSP

Outrageous Fishing

Unless you're a sad Marxist determinist or some kind of insane philosopher, you'll agree that we have free will, we can make choices. Some good, some bad, some tending towards freedom and others towards that other place which ends in iron tyranny.

No, Wymmin Can't Be Priests

With this in mind, we had a choice today at the Compound. Go fishing or sit in slack-jawed amazement at the wreckage of what used to be Western culture. The team took the better path, we went fishing.

Say No To Spirit Cooking

And BANG, pretty much out of the gate we were catching. Bluegill, Catfish and Bass; mostly Bluegill and a couple of keepers too, but they all went back. Some of you might want to know the detail. Here it is.

Defeat Globalist Elites

#1 Eagle Claw Bait holder hook, cheap as you like and then some. 1 medium split shot weight, placed appx 12" from the hook, 12' test (you never know). Bait, 1 half live worm threaded onto the hook with a chunk of Walmart shrimp (Cats seem to like the combo) and another half worm threaded below the shrimp chunk.

Smash The NWO

Presentation? Chuck it in! Well, test the water and see what works. I found that casting diagonally to a cross current tended to get good bites and... sometimes not at all.

Hey, a fish is a fish

Moral of the story? Get out and fish, and know the water. If you do, you'll be able to get on the fish with what they want and start catching. Which is the optimum result, but word to the wise, a few recce patrols don't hurt.

But of course you know all this. As it is, we lost count today. Result.

Gun rights,

LSP

The Ascension

You're probably still in a state of shock from the Rainbow Bear Creed. Who knew that the Blessed Ever Virgin Mary was a "bad-ass womanist liberation theologian," as opposed to a pure Virgin and the Mother of God. 

So, to put the record straight, here's St. John Chrysostom on the Ascension of Christ:

God ascended with a shout, the Lord with the cry of the trumpet, He Who is the Creator from the ages, Who brought all things into being, Who fashioned Adam, Who generated human nature, Who translated to life Enoch who pleased Him, Who preserved Noah together with the world, Who called Abraham from the land of the Chaldeans, Who made Isaac to be a sign of the mystery of the cross, Who granted Jacob the twelve-pillars of offspring, Who granted Job patience, Who made Moses to become the leader of the people, Who filled Samuel with prophecy from his mother's womb, Who anointed David as king from the prophets, Who granted Solomon wisdom, Who took up Elias in a flaming chariot, Who instilled the prophets with foreknowledge, Who granted the apostles gifts of healing, and Who cried to them: “Take heart, I have overcome the world.”

This is the Lord of glory Who is ascended into the heavens with a shout, and is seated on the right hand of the Father. Under His authority are angels, and dominions and powers, and it is He Who receives our pained prayers, and makes us victors over the pirates of this world. Under His dominion is every rank of the unclean spirits, as He says to us: “Behold, I have given you authority to trample upon snakes and scorpions.”

Unharmed and spotless, healthy and whole, preserve us in soul and body and spirit, filling us with the fruits of righteousness and fruitfulness, You Who are the God of all, You Who didst make us worthy to gather to celebrate this feast, for to You belong all glory, honor and worship, to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

There's triumph in that, and what can I say? Hail the day that sees Him rise.

Climb the Holy Mountain.

God bless,

LSP 

A Beautiful Bear Creed

Perhaps you're upset about the crew of wealthy, MillSoc celebrity degenerates mocking the Church at the Met Gala. So here's something to put it all right, a beautiful Bear Creed by Sarah Moon. 

It goes like this:

God Our Mother Bear 

I believe in God, our Mother Bear, source of all being.

Solidarity Against Empire

I believe in Jesus Christ, God’s wisdom made flesh,along with Sophia, the church, and all that live in wisdom. Born of the bad-ass womanist liberation theologian, Mary, suffered under the systems of oppression of this world, was crucified, died, and was buried,forever joining in solidarity with those murdered by Empire.

Bad Bear

On the third day, the women declared him risen;signifying God’s “No” to oppression.Jesus points to God our Mother Bear,who works in this world, calling for justice for the poor and oppressed. 

Happy Bear

I believe in Sophia Spirit, Christ’s body, the church,the communion of saints,the grace to reject this world’s systems, hope for justice in the future, and renewed life everlasting. Amen.

Perhaps you think this is some kind of joke. Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

God bless,

LSP

Time Traveler Brings Back Photos Of Life On Mars

Proof has finally emerged that life exists on Mars, in the year 3812. Photos brought back by a young time traveler known only as "Mary", reveal buildings, a cathedral, and humanoid creatures living on the inhospitable surface of the red planet.

“Mars was very interesting and at the same time very frightening," stated Mary, 37, "It looked like a desert with many buildings and York Minster, I immediately took a photo. You can see the spaceships on which we came, you can also see the buildings."

The time traveler met with one Mars creature who called himself "Justsin" and wore a black coat. The humanoid took her for a ride in his flying car to see "the Sentamu."

“I was walking through the city when a man came to me who was wearing a black coat. His name was Justsin, he asked me to follow him to see 'the Sentamu' and we walked away and went to his car. 

"I couldn’t forget that emotion when I was flying above York Minster, on Mars.”

Ad Astra,

LSP

Behold The Face Of Evil

Behold the face of evil, of Eric Schneiderman, New York Attorney General and champion of women everywhere, unless you're one of the women the top level Democrat beat, choked and called his "brown slave."

Some say Schiederman is twisted on Adrenochrome, harvested from fear crazed victims in vivo. Others believe the millionaire socialist Trump hater is demonic, possibly possessed.

Here at the Compound we invite you to look at the pictures and draw your own conclusion. Schneiderman: insanely evil Adrenochrome freak, demon possessed or both?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Cooking With LSP, Venison Backstrap

Excuse me? You snort indignantly. You can't cook with LSP. Not so fast, tiger. You can and here's how. First step, go out and shoot a deer or get someone to do it for you. 

Next step, get a slab of the deer's backstrap, maybe some tenderloin too, and behold its glory; season with salt and pepper, then marinade in a mixture of soy sauce and brown sugar, about a 1/4 cup of the one and a couple of tablespoons of the other.

Put it in the fridge. Well done, you've successfully completed the first evolution of this training program and you've earned a break. Take it, go fishing, sharpen your knives, clean guns, whatever, it's up to you.

As the sun begins to set, take the venison out of the fridge, cut it into thick slices (1.5/2" or so), wrap in bacon, skewer with a toothpick and marvel at the genius of it all. 

When you've recovered from that, put those bacon wrapped chunks of awesome on a rack in a tin in the center of a 350* preheated oven.

Relax, you're nearly there. Have a glass of wine if you like, have several; there's no rush because the meat has to cook for around 20 minutes, until the bacon's on the go. But be careful, don't overcook, you're after medium rare or at least I am. So know the heat of your oven.

Oven done, finish the beasts off on a heavy metal hot skillet. Please don't, in your enthusiasm, grasp the handle of the red hot skillet. Trust me, it hurts. 

Then serve with vegetables if you want and eat your scoff...

Like a Warrior,

LSP

Cool For Cats

No, not the supermegastar pop band fronted up by Jools Holland, but the fish, catfish. At least that was the hope as I drove to a top secret Texan location.

At first it was pretty slow sledding, with a couple of halfhearted nibbles on my go to worm and not much else at all. Then a boat pulled up, "We've been at it for hours, nothing!" 

I shrugged and cast off again, wondering if the expedition would be a bust. So why not change up the bait? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Several pieces of shrimp added to the worm and a slow retrieve later, something got fierce on the hook and a fight was on. Then up came a catfish.

And another, and another, and another in a kind of we-love-the-shrimp-worm-combo feeding frenzy. Great result and a fast 45 minutes or so of good action; out went the line, in came the fish, 6 in the end. 

After that things started to quiet down but I wasn't complaining, the sport had been good and it was time to head for home.

Next time I'll bring a cooler and keep a few. Fry those cats up.

Tight lines,

LSP