Churchill's Funeral

Rest in Peace,

LSP

All Souls

Pray for the souls of the faithful departed.

O God, the Creator and Redeemer of all the faithful:
grant unto the souls of thy servants and handmaids
the remission of all their sins; that through devout
supplications they may obtain the pardon which
they have always desired: through Jesus Christ our
Lord who liveth and reigneth with thee and the
Holy Ghost one God world without end. Amen.

May they rest in peace,

LSP

All Saints

Here's a prayer to mark the Feast.

O ALMIGHTY God, who hast knit together thine elect in one communion and fellowship, in the mystical body of thy Son Christ our Lord; Grant us grace so to follow thy blessed Saints in all virtuous and godly living, that we may come to those unspeakable joys which thou hast prepared for those who unfeignedly love thee; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

God bless,

LSP 

Halloween

Some say that Halloween is Satan's birthday but it's not, it's All Hallows Eve or the Eve of All Saints. This means that kids get to run around dressed as goblins and ask for candy before they're vanquished by the saints the next day.

Here at the Compound we're all in favor of the celebration but don't make the bad mistake of giving the little trick-or-treaters comsymp, globalist, NWO, Illuminati cabal ice cream. It's not good for them. Give the young 'uns a tasty pez instead.

Speaking of Halloween, it used to be customary for people to play games of divination and attempt to foretell the future. How will that turn out?

We know the broad sweep of things, the forces of hell are defeated by the hosts of heaven. Such is the ultimate end but in the midterm, someone please lock her up.

Out Demons Out,

LSP

Caravan Time Traveler

A time traveler from Wednesday, November 7, 2018 has brought back a stunning picture of the future, showing what appears to be a giant rainbow pinata on America's southern border.

The futurist, Mr. W. Wolf, says that the gift will be left by a "caravan" of "Guatemalans and MS-13" as a "gift." And because the future isn't fixed, several responses are possible. 

(1) Hit the pinada with artillery.

(2) Napalm.

(3) Haul the pinada through the fence as a triumph of Democrat policy?

(4) Hook it up to a Sikorsky Sky Crane and drop it twenty miles off-shore?

Here at Compound News, we're amazed by these revelations from the future and with the time traveler, urge everyone to get out and vote.

Your Best Friend,

LSP

Whitey Bulger Dead - Mueller Time!

Notorious mobster, Whitey Bulger, is dead, killed by an inmate as he was being transferred to a West Virginia prison. 

Things went badly for Bulger, 89, when a prisoner with Mafia ties hit him over the head with a lock in a sock and gouged his eyes out. Bulger had nothing whatsoever to do with Special Prosecutor Mueller.

However, Mueller, who had no connections to Whitey Bulger at all, has been accused of raping a woman at the St. Regis hotel, New York City, in 2010.

Mueller, who heads up the special investigation into the Trump campaign's infamous collusion with the Kremlin, never knew or heard of "Whitey" Bulger and denies raping a woman at the St. Regis.

The Special Prosecutor has referred the rape case to the FBI, which is famed for its honesty, lack of corruption and non-partisan objectivity. 

Mueller says accusations of rape are fraudulent and the result of GOP pay-offs, as claimed by one of his former paralegals. He also never knew, heard of or communicated with Whitey Bulger.

Your Pal,

LSP

Is Phil Lesh King Of The Dorks?

Pretty Dorky Right From The Get Go!

It started off suspicious and weird, in the '60s. The Dead were cooking off in San Francisco, putting out their version of rock 'n roll, all very cool. 

Dorky? Yes, Very

But there was a fly in the ointment, an issue, something not quite right. Yes, you guessed it, Phil Lesh, the notoriously dorky bassist for the Grateful Dead.

Well That's Straight

Even before Bob Weir started wearing shorts, Lesh was acting weird and stupid, copying Jerry's guitar and wearing tie die t shirts.

Not Dorky At All

Everyone put up with him because Jerry was cool and Phil was, you know, doing his own thing. But that didn't make Lesh less dorky, far from it, he doubled down.

Truly This Man Was The King of Dorks

Today, Phil Lesh is famous for giving Christine Fraud $10k. Does that cement his title as King of the Dorks? You, the reader, be the judge.

Reckoning,

LSP

Melania Mondays! Halloween

It's Monday and time for some welcome relief from the insanity that's become the news cycle. Fortunately for us, Melania's here to help and she's not been idle.

Well known for her love of children, America's popular and glamorous First Lady stepped out in style at the White House Halloween party, handing out candy to children.

President Trump got in the Halloween spirit too, waving a serpent staff over the trick-or-treaters. Some observers describe this as a "hex" or a "spell." 

But the President was only emulating Moses, whose serpent staff, the Rod of God, devoured the snakes of Pharoah's magicians and protected the Israelites in the Exodus and beyond.

Melania, who's regularly attacked by snakes in the lying, corrupt, smug, elite, mainstream media, clearly enjoyed the imagery and went on to bring happiness and smiles to lucky children.

Well done First Lady, for doing your bit to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP

Shouldn't Do That

Crazies comin' outta the woodwork, migrant invasion barreling down the pike on flatbeds and Gab's down. Message? OBEY your corporate Illuminati overlords, serfs. And right before the midterms, they must be worried. What can we say?

Shouldn't do that, you're getting nowhere.

Your Foot Tapping Friend,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Writes Pope

An anonymous source has leaked damning correspondence between the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and Pope Francis to the Press.

Via Ignatius:

Dear Frank,

I have to admit that I am envious.

As your Synod on Yoof comes to an end you are in the happy position of being able to oversee the drafting of the final document without fear of contradiction. I, on the other hand, am little more than a servant of our General Synod, tied hand and foot by quasi-democratic red tape.

What cheers me is that – au fond – we have identical aims and objectives. We both see the future in an accommodation to the general drift of Western values. Of course, with women’s ordination and casual abortion, we are way ahead of you. But there are new inclusions that we can work for together. What a triumph if you could smuggle a reference to LGBTQERTY into your final document!

Our task is to remedy the declining number of believers by adapting the Faith to what people really do believe. Then we can claim that the majority have been Christians all along and call it ‘evangelisation’.

At the moment, as I am sure you will agree, things are going swimmingly. Though to be honest I have mixed feelings about euthanasia – still, I suppose we will find ourselves embracing it in the end.

Keep up the good work,

Your affectionate ‘partner in crime’,

Justin.

Welby, head of the worldwide Anglican Communion, is popularly known as "Justsin." Stay tuned for further revelations.

Your Old Pal,

LSP 

What A Racist!

Racist? That's clear from the way all those white Seminole supremacists greeted the President at the White House. They loved him because he boosted their white racism, even though they're black. And look at this.

Here's Candace Owens being a white racist because she's a member of the Klan.

There is a revolution in The Black community ! Here is a clip of @RealCandaceO in front of the White House talking about the harmful Democratic Policies. We’re leaving the Plantation. #YBLS2018 #TPUSA #MAGA #Trump2020 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/LBU7qx7yVw

— Gianni Rodriguez (@GianniParris) October 27, 2018

But seriously, love the Grand Commander or hate him he's obviously not a racist, he just wants to make America great again and bring back jobs, not least to African Americans. The Democrats hate that, a lot.

So which party's racist? Hint, the Republicans freed the slaves.

#WalkAway,

LSP

Bombs Everywhere!

Everywhere you turn, a new bomb; it's getting hard to move without falling over a random bomb, just ask Robert De Nero.  So where do they all come from?

Who sent the bombs?

Why did they send them?

Will the deluge of bombs never end?

What evil would turn people into crazed bombers?

Disturbing, isn't it.

Time to call in the bomb squad!

Thanks /pol,

LSP