Shouldn't Do That

Crazies comin' outta the woodwork, migrant invasion barreling down the pike on flatbeds and Gab's down. Message? OBEY your corporate Illuminati overlords, serfs. And right before the midterms, they must be worried. What can we say?

Shouldn't do that, you're getting nowhere.

Your Foot Tapping Friend,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Writes Pope

An anonymous source has leaked damning correspondence between the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and Pope Francis to the Press.

Via Ignatius:

Dear Frank,

I have to admit that I am envious.

As your Synod on Yoof comes to an end you are in the happy position of being able to oversee the drafting of the final document without fear of contradiction. I, on the other hand, am little more than a servant of our General Synod, tied hand and foot by quasi-democratic red tape.

What cheers me is that – au fond – we have identical aims and objectives. We both see the future in an accommodation to the general drift of Western values. Of course, with women’s ordination and casual abortion, we are way ahead of you. But there are new inclusions that we can work for together. What a triumph if you could smuggle a reference to LGBTQERTY into your final document!

Our task is to remedy the declining number of believers by adapting the Faith to what people really do believe. Then we can claim that the majority have been Christians all along and call it ‘evangelisation’.

At the moment, as I am sure you will agree, things are going swimmingly. Though to be honest I have mixed feelings about euthanasia – still, I suppose we will find ourselves embracing it in the end.

Keep up the good work,

Your affectionate ‘partner in crime’,

Justin.

Welby, head of the worldwide Anglican Communion, is popularly known as "Justsin." Stay tuned for further revelations.

Your Old Pal,

LSP 

What A Racist!

Racist? That's clear from the way all those white Seminole supremacists greeted the President at the White House. They loved him because he boosted their white racism, even though they're black. And look at this.

Here's Candace Owens being a white racist because she's a member of the Klan.

There is a revolution in The Black community ! Here is a clip of @RealCandaceO in front of the White House talking about the harmful Democratic Policies. We’re leaving the Plantation. #YBLS2018 #TPUSA #MAGA #Trump2020 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/LBU7qx7yVw

— Gianni Rodriguez (@GianniParris) October 27, 2018

But seriously, love the Grand Commander or hate him he's obviously not a racist, he just wants to make America great again and bring back jobs, not least to African Americans. The Democrats hate that, a lot.

So which party's racist? Hint, the Republicans freed the slaves.

#WalkAway,

LSP

Bombs Everywhere!

Everywhere you turn, a new bomb; it's getting hard to move without falling over a random bomb, just ask Robert De Nero.  So where do they all come from?

Who sent the bombs?

Why did they send them?

Will the deluge of bombs never end?

What evil would turn people into crazed bombers?

Disturbing, isn't it.

Time to call in the bomb squad!

Thanks /pol,

LSP

Bombs Away!

Everywhere you turn there's a pipe bomb, it's like it's raining pipe bombs, you have to step over them just to cross the road.

Maxine Waters got two, Obama got one, Soros got one and Hillary got one, delivered to Chappaqua no less. CNN got one too, intended for the nation's favorite ex CIA Muslim supremo, John Brennan. And Cuomo, don't forget him! He got a pipe bomb as well, like everyone else.

Did any of the bombs work? No, and the one intended for CNN had a digital clock which cunningly didn't have an alarm. Perhaps that bomb was going to be detonated by telepathy.

The same kind of telekenesis, perhaps, that's driving a Caravan of, ahem, immigrants to the border right at election time. Psi Power's a remarkable thing, eh?

But we have to ask, why is Debbie Wasserman Schultz sending all these hoax bombs to her lib elite cabal friends?  It's not like she even tried to hide it, there's her return address right on the false flag fakey bomb parcel.

Is this some kind of internicene Illuminati civil war? Has Debbie finally had enough of  the Puppetmaster, Mad Max, the Old Crone, Jihad Brennan and the Magic O himself? 

And let's be clear, Debbie couldn't have delivered all of the bombs herself, she has to have had help. Leaving aside Corey Booker, here they are.

The Grey Army! Terrifying, isn't it. Maybe Debbie, Corey and their urban guerilla cadre will rescue the blue wave and sweep the Party into power.

In the meanwhile, Dems, listen up. DON'T, do not put your name and ADDRESS on the return label.

Bombs away,

LSP

Geraldo Owned By Angels

Well, well, here's the awesome Geraldo peddling his wares with the Hell's Angels back in the '70s. He was super awesome then, super awesome now. Don't say owned.

But make of it what you will, in the meanwhile, here's a helpful tune.

Alright kids, get behind the movement and exterminate the libs at the polls.

That is all,

LSP

CARAVAN!

No, not the faggy, beta acid folk rock outfit that didn't dominate the airwaves in the '70s. No, not them, but the Caravan of weirdly military age men who are marching on America, 10,000 strong.

Who's paying for the Caravan, who set the jolly Caravan off? Was it North America, for daring to have a better economy than, say, El Salvador? Was it Soros and the Illuminati Globalists? 

Hey, their pockets are notoriously deep and they're all about beating down the minimum wage. Gotta maximize the bottom line and increase the income stream, private jets and islands don't come cheap.

Then again, maybe Trump paid for the Caravan in a stroke of 4d chess midterm  genius. He might as well of done, it's only going to boost MAGA. 

Good work, lib PR machine.

Build the Wall,

LSP

Go To The Lake

It seemed right to go fishing today so I drove to the lake, which is high because of torrential rain. First stop, the dam spillway and there was the mighty Brazos, in full flood.

A couple of guys were trying their luck but not catching anything and I took in the sight for a reflective moment or two before heading to the other side of the dam.

It was deserted and no wonder, there was hardly any accessible shoreline to cast off from but I clambered down the rip rap and sent a torpedo out onto the glassy water. Fish were jumping, mostly just out of range and all made sure to avoid enticing topwater lures.

Still, it was good to get out in the open Texan air and watch the tranquil water of the lake, to say nothing of the tantalizing excitement of topwater fishing. 

Would the monster Bass you knew were lurking in the murky depths explode on the lure with piscine fury? You know they're there and you know they'll go for that lure like a Trump Train on full steam, you've seen it before. It could happen at any moment.

But it didn't, so I headed back to the Compound where I discovered CPL's got himself into a nasty little pit of $4.5 million, and all the rest. Don't say MillSoc hubris.

Did you watch Trump in Houston? It was huge. Unprecedented?

MAGA,

LSP

SUNDAY SHOCKA CHELSEA HANDLER VERY GROSS

Superstar comic celebrity, Chelsea Handler shocked the world, describing herself as "very gross," a "loud mouth" and "not talented," all because she's white.

In an interview with MillSoc lesbian TV icon, Ellen Degeneres, Handler talked about her self-loathing.

“When I started to look around at people that don’t have as successful of a career or are working twice as hard to achieve the same things, I started to feel very gross about myself. On a very fundamental level, I wanted to explore it further … [starting] with my own white privilege. I’ve been badly behaved for 20 years and getting tons of money thrown at me for being a loudmouth. You could say I’m talented, but you could also say I’m not talented.”

But Chelsea, you're very talented, at making heaps of millionaire socialist cash. Handler's net worth is a paltry $40 million, just shy of her friend Hillary's $45 million. And you know what they say.

Why be a poor socialist when you can be a rich one.

Power to the people,

LSP

Time Traveler

A transdimensional time traveler has broken silence to tell us what life was like for the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion pre 2000, Before Trans Era (BTE).

Some Kind of Joke?

"It was different," says "Josh" who wishes to remain anonymous, "We were there, like a normal church, and then everything got weird. There were all these priestesses and they did some kind of deal with the gays. Maybe in Chicago.

Gene, Loretta, Sharpton, the Trinity

"Next thing you know they'd gone full rainbow and there were lesbian bishops and this guy, Gene Robinson, but he's gone now because it's not cool to be gay, you have to be trans. 

Gross Van Dyke

"I know this, I sat in Ian Markham's study at VTS, he went to King's, and heard it all spelled out. It was going to get them lots of people in the pews but it didn't. More people get buried in the Episcopal Church than get baptized."

Psi Power

Ian Markham, Dean of the prestigious white privilege seminary, VTS, was unavailable for comment and so was "Josh", the time traveler. The Episcopal Church continues to hemorrhage members despite going "full rainbow."

Justsin

The Archbishop of Canterbury is popularly known as "Justsin."

God bless,

LSP

Cooking With LSP Macaroni Cheese

Excuse me, what did you just say? Cooking with LSP? It sounds impossible yet there it is and here's how.

Pull out some heavy metal and melt 4 TBLs of butter in the iron, match it with the same amount of flour. Mix it up and well done, you've made a poor man's roux. Then add 2 1/2 cups of full milk, stir it in and behold the beauty of the thing, Glock optional.

Then add cheese. Grate as much as you like into the pot, your call, there's no "rule." Stir it around until you reach the desired consistency and add more cheese and milk as required. 

Also, don't forget to throw in a teaspoon of dry mustard along with salt and pepper to taste or even Worcestershire Sauce, your call. 

That done, stir away and preheat the oven to 400*. While it's firing up have a glass of wine or 10 and ponder your culinary genius.  There it is, cheese sauce, pasta and everything else, just waiting to come together in union. 

While you're at it, resist the temptation to draw parallels with the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion and throw the thing in the oven after grating some cheese on top.

Leave it in until it's getting cripsy and then take it out and eat your scoff...

Like a Warrior,

LSP

Thursday Sermon

“You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?”

James and John want a share in Christ's glory, to sit at the right and left hand of His throne at the consummation of all things. But instead of rebuking their "jealousy and selfish ambition" (James 3:16) Jesus invites them into glory by giving them its key, the Passion.

He invites them to share in this, to drink His cup of suffering and to live His baptism of death. Through this comes resurrection and triumphant life. But so easy to say, so hard to do! James and John, doubtless unwittingly, say they're able and they are, in the end. Christ's question becomes prophecy.

He asks the same thing of us. Perhaps this is helpful:

The mind, when purified by Christ’s Chalice is enabled to see spiritual visions. It begins to see the all-embracing Providence of God which is invisible to carnal minds, to see the law of corruption in everything corruptible, to see close to everyone a vast eternity, to see God in His great acts – in the creation and re-creation of the world. Earthly life seems to it a brief pilgrimage; the passing events of earthly life seem like dreams, and its blessings seem to he a fleeting illusion of the, eyes, a short-lived fatal allurement of the mind and heart.

To put it another way, "Whoever does not carry his cross and follow Me cannot be My disciple." (Lk 14:27) And again, "You cannot serve God and Mammon." (Mt. 6:24) By contrast, we should be like the "little child." (Mk 10:15)

May God bless us all in the endeavour. 

LSP