And at Moscow Airport...

Well done, RT, for this advertising masterpiece.

Твоё здоровье!

LSP

Sightings Reveal Diocese of Oxford And Communion Hybrids

Newly declassified files from the UK's Ministry of Defence reveal a close encounter of the bizarre kind, detailing a chance sighting of the Diocese of Oxford.

An Oxfordshire resident saw the off-world diocese hovering over a field in 1998, where it made crop circles. According to the anonymous witness, the mysterious object was 40 foot tall, pink, covered in flashing lights and decorated with the diocesan logo, a large Egyptian Ankh.

Oxford

The observer sent drawings of the strange craft to the MOD, stating,"I have developed contact with these craft and their enemy forces." However, the MOD did not investigate and the object disappeared.

Communion Hybrid

In related news, ET xenologists have discovered a new form of semi-extraterrestrial life, the Anglican Communion Hybrid. Communion Hybrids are believed to be part human, part alien Grey and have "telepathic" powers.

"The being (Communion Hybrid) seemed to be telepathic," stated one expert, "And his appearance was rough and weathered as in premature aging."

A Grey

According to an eyewitness' drawing, the humanoid appeared to be malformed and suffering from a form of mental illness. These apparent physical defects reveal that hybridization is potentially vulnerable to error, indicating that the Grey's genetic program experienced random error beyond their control.

Random Error

When questioned about their part in the hybrid program, the Diocese of Oxford refused to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Liberal Tears

Thanks to Mattexian, I've discovered a hot new line of merchandising, Liberal Tears.

Liberal Tears can go on your Yeti

On your flask

Your Crying Window

Laptop

Coffee Cup

Wherever, Liberal Tears are guaranteed to "fit perfectly on your car, refrigerator, travel mug, window, laptop or non safe space surface!"

You can buy them here.

MAGA,

LSP

Ain't No God In Mexico, This Speaker Rocks

You may not know this, how could you, but the Compound suffered catastrophic 'phone failure the other day. A venerable Samsung GS4  gave up the ghost, plunging LSPland into disarray and chaos. What a disaster.

Comms got on it right away and replaced the faulty unit with a reconditioned (used) GS6. Problem solved and with it, T Mobile's streaming music service, which lets you play music off of Amazon et al at no cost to your data. Good result and it meant a new Bluetooth speaker.

I opted for the JBL Flip 4 and guess what, it sounds really good. It's filling the porch with Waylon right now and I'm impressed with the clarity and depth of sound. The little beast beast kicks out some bass, too. Happy Trails? Why not.

Moral of the story? It's good when tech works for you instead of the other way around and, if you're after a cheapish, portable, waterproof Bluetooth speaker which sounds good, check out JPL's Flip 4. Review to follow.

Is there a God in Mexico? Listen to the song.

LSP

Johnnie Walker Says Kerry's An Idiot

A new trove of US intel  emails has been discovered, thanks to a mysterious hacker known as "Johnnie Walker." The emails reveal what we've known all along, that Senator John Kerry is "an idiot."

One Redditor described the contents of these earth shattering emails:

Found a couple of things that are interesting. A Russian scholar "Valery Solovei" is sending Robert Otto a monthly report on Russia. Also, Otto and his buddies HATE John Kerry and continually refer to him as an idiot!

Perhaps all is not lost in the murky, cloak and dagger world of the US intelligence community.

Mind how you go,

LSP

Tree Hippies

Because this is a sustainable, green issue, eco-blog we're delighted to present Tree Hippies.

Here at the Compound we hope you find it as powerful as we do and, to quote one expert, "Ladies, if your boyfriend can't run a chain saw, you have a girlfriend."

We are stardust,

LSP

Tree Hugger Down

If you're not too busy getting hacked by the Russians, check out this neat tree hugger infovideo.

Cheers,

LSP

This Town's On The Up

For something like a year now, our lying, corrupt, elite, mendacious, venal, smug, cheating, rude mainstream media has worked around the clock to prove Moscow altered the course of history and won Trump the 2016 election. 

Of course they haven't uncovered any evidence, apart from a lawyer who was allowed into the country by the Obama DOJ, and the Church of England which was filmed disappearing into a portal.

Texas Yeti

Still, it pays to be prepared for any eventuality and, as a prepper, I took Blue Vigilant along with me to the Pick 'n Steal this morning, just in case we were attacked by marauding Kremlins. Blue Semper Paratus stood guard while I bought some strong coffee. Did it go into a Texas Yeti? Yes, it did.

This made the coffee taste all the better and I reflected on that as we patrolled back to the Compound. You see, it's not just the coffee that seems to be on the uptick, the town itself is revitalizing. Seriously.

Putting America Back to Work

Houses are being fixed up, two new restaurants have opened on the town square, a pub is about to open and so is a coffee shop. Even the venerable Compound's about to get a facelift, if the Mexican painting crew ever shows up.

Long story short, people are investing in this small Texan farming community. Maybe we should thank Russia for making sure Mr. Trump won the election.

MAGA,

LSP

Russians Hack Church of England?

Shocking new evidence appears to show the small but aggressively transsexual Church of England disappearing into a portal in Yakutia, Russia, leading experts to claim that the venerable denomination has been hacked by the Kremlin.

Video footage shows the diminutive Church rising into the Russian sky before vanishing into a "portal."

The Church of England disappearing into a portal

"The strange video, seeming to show the Church of England full of lights in the night sky, has emerged in media circles in Yakutia, the largest region in Russia," stated one UFOlogist, "The small object is then swallowed by a portal. I think it was hacked."

Yakutia is famous for its diamonds, which may have drawn the cash-strapped CofE to the Russian wilderness. 

Artist's impression

Reports of the numerically challenged denomination disappearing altogether have come in from several countries, including Canada, New Zealand and America. 

A typical Russian hacker

However, when questioned about Russian hacking, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby

Archbishop Justin Welby was last seen pawning episcopal regalia on Detroit's notorious 8 Mile Road.

Space is Deep,

LSP

All Hail Texas!

Here at the Compound we set great store by great art; it's one of the factors that distinguishes us from the beasts, one of the hallmarks of civilization itself.

The above installation is simply entitled All Hail Texas! Parse it as you will but we think it speaks for itself.

Arduus ad Solem,

LSP

Crime And Punishment

In Canada, they tell me, it's illegal. You can't make criminals who've offended against society repay their debt and make amends by working for the community they've offended against.

That, for Canadians, is apparently cruel and wicked. But not in Texas.

Here they get to go in a chain gang in the back of the Brookshire's supermarket. 

They also have to wear striped trousers so that everyone knows they're a criminal, as they work in the brisk Texan 100* heat.

Shades of George Clooney, perhaps? Now, ask yourself, what kind of punishment would fit such a crime?

Lake Como forever.

LSP

Melania Mondays!

Some people don't like Mondays, like the miserable, aging superstar pop legend, Bob Geldof, they want to shoot the whole day down. 

Here at the Compound we want to change that, which is why we're bringing you yet another uplifting episode in the popular series, Melania Mondays! And what a week it's been in the life of America's glamorous First Lady.

Yet again, Melania turned heads and dazzled abroad, this time on a trip to Europe and the G20 Summit. Not only that, the former Yugoslavian model struck a blow for detente in meetings with Vladimir Putin, obviously impressing the Russian strongman.

Ever maternal, the First Lady even took time time be with children, congratulating one youngster on their clever creation of a 3d printed high heeled shoe.

Unsurprisingly, Melania is soaring in the polls and who can blame the punters? Consider the alternative. Remember this?

Beautiful, wasn't it. Things have changed now, fortunately.

Thank you, Melania, for doing your part to make America great again.

MAGA.

LSP