Is This Goon High?

Media watchdogs are speculating that famous Fox News mouthpiece, Geraldo Rivera, is twisted on a deadly cocktail of Thorazine, Adderall and DMT.

Suspicions were aroused when the renowned reporter lost his mind, blasting out incoherently, "Mass shooting in San Bernadino California at a Center for the Developmentally Disabled WTF! The 2d Amendment is Stupid!!! Don’t rationalize.”

Geraldo, time for rehab?

LSP

It Was The Pork That Did It!

Workplace violence, The Weather, El Nino, guns, simple rage, you name it, the race was on to find the motive behind the apparently inexplicable shootings in California. But now the search is over, and the culprit is pork!

According to eye witnesses who were in the Inland Resource Center in Loma Linda, CA and attending the Christmas Party where the attacks took place, Muslim employees of the county had previously asked that Pork products not be served. When one of those Muslims arrived at the event and saw that, in addition to many other foods, Bacon and Pork Sausage was being served, he angrily confronted other party-goers - allegedly saying "I'm tired of these insults to Islam" - and then stormed out of the event.

Less than an hour later, he returned with two others in a pre-planned revenge attack and started shooting.

A Typical Pork Recipe

We have the motive. Dietary insensitivity, destroying Sayed's safe space, is the cause of this latest tragedy. We must therefore ban guns and outlaw Christianity.

Problem? Solution.

Your Pal,

LSP

San Bernardino Massacre And The Case of The Missing Motive

No one knows the motive for yesterday's massacre, that saw two well-armed Muslims attack a Christmas party, while wearing Go-Pro cameras to film the slaughter. Why would Sayed and Tashfeen do such a thing?

Here's the New York Times, racking its collective psyche to solve this impenetrable mystery:

The officials called the case perplexing, saying that no clear evidence of terrorism had emerged and that there were some signs pointing away from it. But they said the shooting was clearly premeditated, and does not fit the mold for typical workplace violence incidents. The idea that this was a workplace argument that spiraled out of control seems far-fetched now, the officials said, given the explosives and the preparation. An overnight review of Mr. Farook’s electronic devices has not provided clear answers to these questions, but the officials noted that the investigation is in its early phases.

Look, stupids, it's the Jihad.

LSP

Syed Farook & Tashfeen Malik -- Jihad California

At first the media tried to blame the California massacre on the pro-life movement and then it was gun control and Christianity. "Better think of something better to do than pray, you stupid NRA Christians," went the chorus. But the narrative broke down when the shooters turned out to be Muslims.

Syed Farook and his wife Tashfeen Malik, a pair of devout Muslims. 

What could possibly have been their motive? And as you ponder that, reflect on the wisdom of large-scale Muslim immigration.

LSP

Saeed Farooq

Saeed Farooq. It must have been The Weather.

Or "workplace violence."

ISIS taking credit.

LSP

Turkish Math

Looks like the Turks aren't so hot at math.

ZeroHedge -- Miraculously, there were no further escalations overnight, but as we outlined in detail on Tuesday, something doesn’t add up about the story Ankara is telling. According to a letter Turkey sent to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and the 15 members of the UN Security Council, the Russian warplane, flying at 19,000 feet, “violated Turkish national airspace to a depth of 1.36 miles and 1.15 miles in length for 17 seconds.” If you do the math on that, it means the Su-24 was basically flying at stall speed. 

Our Friends, The Moderate Jihadists, Executed This Pilot

As you reflect on that wisdom, don't forget that the Al-Qaeda affiliated Jihadists who executed a Russian airman are backed by the US. Why?

Our Frenemies, ISIS

Because they're moderates, of course. And we have to ask, why is Turkey even a member of NATO? But given that it is, why not sign up the Caliphate too.

I mean to say, it's not as though we're supplying them with guns and money, or anything.

Cheers,

LSP

Obama Sock Puppet, ISIS Oil

Some people compare Obama to a sock puppet, and who can blame them. But in the meanwhile, here's this, from ZeroHedge:

"We wonder how long until someone finally asks the all important question regarding the Islamic State:who is the commodity trader breaching every known law of funding terrorism when buying ISIS crude, almost certainly with the tacit approval by various 'western alliance' governments, and why is it that these governments have allowed said middleman to continue funding ISIS for as long as it has?"

Good question.

Kick out the Jams,

LSP

Aloha Snack Bar!

While some people are busy hanging out at upscale beach clubs in Hawaii and riding around on motorcycles, we're manning the front lines, here in Texas.

Good Work, Einstein

Maybe that's why Blue Mimeticist decided to join in with the predawn chorus of roosters and crazed peacocks this morning.

Brave Defender

Stand to, everyone, maybe that's Daesh creeping up on the perimeter, or a squirrel, or the simple canine exuberance of doing your utmost to sound like a shrieking, demented bird. At 5.30 am.

Dropping Some Bombs on Raqqa

In related news, Putin's going hard against Raqqa, launching Russia's strategic bombing fleet at the Takfiri death cult. As I understand it, each plane carries something like 20 tons of ordnance.

Don't mess with the Bear, white running shoe terrorists.

LSP

Out On Patrol

I patrolled down to Montes Mexican Diner, keeping a keen eye out for Daesh terrorists. They could be anywhere.

Takfiri safe house?

Is that Daesh, hiding under a pile of trash?

And what about here?

Perhaps you see a dumpster. I see a hardened defensive position. Clear.

A snake. Good thing I'm armed. With a Glock.

Think twice before you walk down this road. Situational awareness is key.

The patrol ended without incident, apart from a tasty helping of Huevos Rancheros, and this time ISIS stayed under cover. Smart move, guys. But seriously, people are saying that CHL holders have a duty to carry. That might not be such a bad idea.

In the meanwhile, the real war, the War on Weather, continues, with a fine drizzle of rainy attrition. Like being back in the Old Country.

Gun rights.

LSP

Clean Your Gun, it's Sunday

It's a pretty typical Sunday afternoon, here at the Compound; Gun cleaning, a late lunch consisting of a bollo and something advertising itself as "Beef Bologna." I find Duke's mayonnaise helps with this, but hey, go for second best Hellman's, there's no "rule."

Iraqi Forces Wave Captured Weather Flag

As I reflect on this, my mind goes to this morning's Gospel, in which Jesus warns of "false Christs" and "false prophets." No shortage of those, right about now. Speaking of which, Bernie Sanders blames our ancient adversary, The Weather, for the recent terrorist attacks in Paris.

El Nino

Does The Weather know no bounds? Will it stop at nothing in its ongoing attempt to destroy our civilization and overthrow everything we hold right and true? Apparently not, which is why our first installment of Climate Change Refugees landed in New Orleans this Saturday. I guess they're running from El Nino.

What. Could. Possibly. Go. Wrong.

LSP

Wake Up And Smell The Jihad

As of this evening, over 150 people are reported dead in the latest terrorist attack in Paris by Muslims.

President Obama has denounced the atrocity as "an attack on all of humanity and the universal values that we share."

But that's precisely it, we don't all share the same set of values. Authentic Islam, following the example of its founder Mohammed, the Koran and the Hadith, is an ideology of violent conquest and enslavement that does not shrink from wholesale terror to achieve its end, namely, the subjugation of humanity.

Paris, tragically, saw that ideology in play tonight and we're reminded of it daily, in every country that's home to any sizable concentration of Muslims. There you will find all the barbarity of a 7th century tribal war cult, inflamed to white-hot fanaticism according to the ebb and flow of adherence to divinely sanctioned Jihad.

Stoning, crucifixion, torture, slavery, murder and terror are the currency of this ideology, anti-values sanctioned and encouraged by its founder. The West needs to wake up and recognize the threat.

France has closed its borders. Some might call that a day late and a dollar short.

Deus Vult,

LSP

The Fryday Roundup

It's been a busy week, here in the newsroom, as our team of hard-pressed writers struggle to make deadline while living on a punishing diet of pork chops, bacon, steak, Fritos, bean dip and the occasional Marie Callender chicken pot pie. While being attacked by The Weather. So here's a couple of highlights.

Houston Goes Full Pink Stasi 

Two Christian daycare workers have been fired in Houston. Their crime? Refusing to tell the kids that a girl is a boy. 

What. A. Pair. Of. Haters.

Unlike the Episcopal Church, (TEC) which is welcoming and inclusive, unless it's suing you. 

The Episcopal Church on Full Gurn 

Michael Curry became the Episcopal Church's Presiding Bishop at Washington National Cathedral on November 1. Maybe he'll turn the declining denomination's ever dwindling demographics around by making people "happy." Or Muslim, or both. But in the meanwhile...

The Episcopal Church Tanks 

TEC's stats are in and what can we say? Don't worry. Be happy!

"To put some of these losses in perspective, in terms of membership, we lost the combined equivalent of the dioceses of Bethlehem, Central Pennsylvania, Delaware, Easton, Northwestern Pennsylvania, Southwestern Virginia, and West Virginia. Or (in Province IV) of Mississippi, Tennessee, and Western North Carolina. Or (in Province VII) of Arkansas, Fort Worth, Northwest Texas, Oklahoma, and West Missouri."

Way to go, TEC.

And then there was Heather Cook, the onetime Assistant Bishop of Baltimore.

Shackled Felon 

"It was also revealed in Court that any civil claims and liability surrounding then-Bishop Heather Cook, the Diocese of Maryland and The Episcopal Church have been settled. Lawyers for the Palermo family confirmed such a resolution was hammered out but declined to provide details."

As Heather was going down, America was going up, in gun ownership.

Thanks, Barack and Hillary.

Gun Up! 

“Barrack Obama and Hillary Clinton are the best gun salespeople on the planet. The more they scream for new gun control laws the more guns walk off the shelves at gun stores,” said Alan Gottlieb, the head of the Second Amendment Foundation. “To quote the lyrics of Peter, Paul and Mary, ‘When will they ever learn, when will they ever learn.’”

Apparently never, like our President's, ahem, resolve to destroy the murdering white tennis shoe savages of the Caliphate.

Radically Destroy Them 

“You are asking me how we can deal radically with ISIS. The only answer is to radically destroy them."

Canon Andrew White may affect a curious blazer rig but no-one can fault him for telling it like is.

Just so you know, White's a member of the Anglican Communion, which may have been found by stargazing boffins at the European Space Agency.

Anglican Communion Found by Astrophysicist? 

"Many other regions beyond our observable universe would exist with each such region governed by a different set of physical parameters than the ones we have measured for our universe..."

Maybe we'll see how it all ends in January, but one thing's for sure, the cutthroat War on Weather continues with a vengeance.

Winning The War on Weather

Not easy when El Nino's on the loose and the Antarctic ice cap's growing. But wars don't come cheap, so sue Exxon.

Good work, Hillary, et al. Speaking of which, People Don't Trust Her. 

Shocka.

And let's not forget the ongoing curse of the Diocese of Gloucester.

Beating The Curse of The Diocese of Gloucester

Gavin Ashenden wins the truth prize as another bishop figure falls afoul of the ancient curse.

"In the end, it is Scripture and the creeds that divide us. Bishop Rachel and those who appointed her and follow her are on one side of the divide; and the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church is on the other."

Perhaps the latter will somehow survive in the venerable CofE, but at ACoC's St. Albans, in Ottawa? Not so much.

The Anglican Church of Canada Misses Earth?

A mysterious skull-faced asteroid narrowly missed collision with our fragile island home, the earth. 

Or did it land at St. Albans, in Ottawa?

You, the reader, be the judge.

And don't forget, Hillary for Prison, 2016.

LSP

U.S. Foreign Policy Caught on Camera!

U.S. foreign policy was captured on film by two hikers on Mount Rainier, in a revealing photo showing two ghostly figures clasping hands in a rainbow halo.

Known as a "Broken Deceptor," US foreign policy appears as a shadow on mist or cloud, causing a circular rainbow halo to form around it.

Obama Waves Goodbye to Foreign Policy

According to one of the hikers, "As the day went on, the Deceptor would last longer and was more prominent and colorful. The best display was in the evening, when the Deceptor appeared very clear, large and a short distance from us, right before thick clouds rolled in and obstructed the sun."

NATO Cultural Attache to the Kremlin

Rumors that Elton John, NATO cultural attache to the Kremlin, has been asked by President Obama to take over from John Kerry as Secretary of State have not been substantiated.

Russia is now fighting ISIS in Syria.

LSP

Putin Ups the Syrian Ante

Evidence is in that Russia is putting boots on the ground in Syria, ostensibly to fight ISIS, just like we're doing, kind of. Zerohedge was ahead of pack, two days ago, and had this to say:

"Of course, what is left unsaid is that since Russia is there under the humanitarian pretext of fighting the evil ISIS, the same pretext that the US, Turkey, and the Saudis are all also there for, when in reality everyone is fighting for land rights to the most important gas pipeline in decades, the US is limited in its diplomatic recoil.

"Indeed as we sarcastically said last week: 'See: the red herring that is ISIS can be used just as effectively for defensive purposes as for offensive ones. And since the US can't possibly admit the whole situation is one made up farce, it is quite possible that the world will witness its first regional war when everyone is fighting a dummy, proxy enemy which doesn't really exist, when in reality everyone is fighting everyone else!'"

What's the real driver behind the halfhearted  fight against ISIS, Assad's backing by Russia, and the Saudi, Qatari, US focus on deposing him? Oil and gas. Here's a helpful infographic, again, from Zerohedge:

The tragedy of this, to my mind, is the massive scale of human suffering unleashed by the Western power and its oil allies in their attempt to break Gazprom's leverage over Europe. Russia, understandably, wants to protect its interest and Putin appears to have upped the ante. We won't look so good fighting ISIS by, er, fighting the people fighting ISIS.

In the meanwhile, Syrian refugees should have the automatic right to resettle in Saudi Arabia, Qatar and inside the Beltway. Not that I'd imagine they'd want to go to any of those places.

Putin continues to ride the Bear.

LSP

Mad Mitch

Some of you may have noticed that there's a scrap going on in Aden. It's important, because of oil, and who knows how it will all pan out. Will our Iranian allies win, or will our Saudi/Qatari allies win? Maybe ISIS will win. Do we back them? With guns and ammo and PR spin? (propaganda) Who knows.

But we do know that Lt. Col. "Mad Mitch" of the Argyll and Southern Highlanders, had the temerity to retake the Crater in Aden, in 1967.

He was hated for that.

I'm a big fan of Mad Mitch, ever since I was a kid. His Highlanders took care of business.

LSP