Navajo Bread -- Cooking With LSP

What, cooking with LSP? That's both dangerous and stupid. Not so fast, punters, here's how it's done. First up, gaze wonderingly at all your wisely stockpiled flour and ask, what're you gonna do with it, eh? Make bread, obviously, Navajo Bread. It's easy and goes like this.

Put 2 cups of regular stockpiled flour in a mixing bowl. Add 1 stockpiled teaspoon salt, then follow that bad boy up with a tablespoon of baking soda. Throw in two teaspoons of hoarded vegetable oil and a teaspoon of salt. Or not, anarchist, your call.

Whisk it about but don't run off and fall asleep under the nearest tree like some kind of Mexican, your job's not done. No, add lukewarm water to the mix until it becomes a tacky, shaggy, workable dough. Around one cup perhaps.

Then mix that beast up, put it on a floured surface and knead the thing until it's elastic, around three or four minutes. Well done, congratulate yourself on getting this far and place the dough in an "oiled container," the original mixing bowl will do. Cover it up and let rest for an hour.

Next step? Cut the dough into six pieces. Roll each piece flat on a floured surface and fry the offerings in a hot, oiled, iron skillet. Don't be an idiot and burn the delicious bread, take each piece off the heat as brown spots occur and it's obviously done. 

You'll find, if all goes well with the culinary odyssey, that you end up with something like a cross between a tortilla and a naan. Awesome on both counts. And then, bread on hand...

Fall on your scoff like a warrior,

LSP

The Wisdom of Dogs

I asked Blue Philosopher if the recent trans fad and the bathroom wars are just a proxy for the wider liberal project of radical self- autonomy, and with it the deconstruction of all external, objective, "given" value. Right down to biological gender and the family itself. "Are they nihilsts?" I concluded, gesticulating wildly, "Mad bomb throwers of the Rainbow Anti-God?!?"

Blue Socrates signaled his wise agreement by saying nothing at all and staring fixedly at the kitchen, which had been the scene of some serious iron skillet steak action.

In other news, the Fort Worth ISD has gone trans, but that's another story again.

Watch out for the Unicorn and its vicious, thudding little hooves,

LSP

Breakfast, With LSP

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and here's how I like to do it. 

Salt and pepper a steak, then heat up an iron skillet until it's smoking hot. Throw the steak in the skillet, a minute a side. Stare in awe at the sizzling steak, then put it in a 400* preheated oven for 3 or 4 minutes.

While you're doing that, fry up some eggs and mushrooms in butter. Take the steak out of the oven, and let it rest for a few minutes as the eggs finish off. Don't bother to check your privilege, it's not necessary.

Then eat your scoff, like a warrior.

And that's breakfast, with...

LSP

It Was The Pork That Did It!

Workplace violence, The Weather, El Nino, guns, simple rage, you name it, the race was on to find the motive behind the apparently inexplicable shootings in California. But now the search is over, and the culprit is pork!

According to eye witnesses who were in the Inland Resource Center in Loma Linda, CA and attending the Christmas Party where the attacks took place, Muslim employees of the county had previously asked that Pork products not be served. When one of those Muslims arrived at the event and saw that, in addition to many other foods, Bacon and Pork Sausage was being served, he angrily confronted other party-goers - allegedly saying "I'm tired of these insults to Islam" - and then stormed out of the event.

Less than an hour later, he returned with two others in a pre-planned revenge attack and started shooting.

A Typical Pork Recipe

We have the motive. Dietary insensitivity, destroying Sayed's safe space, is the cause of this latest tragedy. We must therefore ban guns and outlaw Christianity.

Problem? Solution.

Your Pal,

LSP