Hippies Trash Tribal Land

Freeloading bands of thieving hippies are wrecking North Dakota, stealing food and trashing once pristine tribal land.

According to DAPL protestor, Alicia Smith,"They are coming in, taking food, clothing etc and occupying space without any desire to participate in camp maintenance and without respect of tribal protocols." 

Thieves

Characteristically, the hippies are "subsisting entirely" off of other people's money and "generosity," noted Smith in a post on social media.

An Indian

Hippies are notorious thieves, whether the feared warrior Sioux will put up with their panhandling antics remains to be seen.

Drill, drill, drill.

LSP

Melania Mondays!

One of the best things about the incoming Administration is Melania, and here at the Compound we're delighted to bring you Melania Mondays! A by demand (BW) new series featuring the popular First Lady in waiting.

Here she is, looking good in her famous "Pussy-Bow" blouse. Clever Melania!

Others, like the unattractive millionaire socialist, Rosie O'Donnel, aren't so happy and accused Melania's son of being autistic. Fiercely protective Melania is threatening to sue the grossly overweight celebrity  lesbyterian.

Who knows, maybe the lawsuit will drive the aggressively unappealing Rosie to Canada.

Yes please.

LSP

And... They're Back!

As America erupted in a frenzy of mall brawl shopping and Team LSP tended the grill, Satan Inc. was getting ready to pour yet more millions of dollars into Hillary's ego.

Fill The Ego!

Not content with her puppeteer losing the election, Hillary's proxy, Jill "spend those socialist millions" Stein, was ramping up to challenge the results in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. Despite there being no evidence of hacking or fraud other than, you know, Hillary losing the vote.

Nice Pizza, Hillary

Let's see what kind of ROI Hillary's deep pocketed investors donors get out of launching this next tranche of big money into the Clintonian bottom line. If nothing, will they want their money back?

As you ponder that, ask yourself whether Podesta's emails have anything to do with pizzagate pedophilia. Not that he's a Crowleyite ritual magicke occcultist or anything.

Occultists

Reports of the Archbishop of Canterbury fighting over flatscreens at Walmart Black Friday Supersales in New Jersey may or may not be true.

That is all.

LSP

Black Friday Grillout

Did you survive Thanksgiving? We did, just, and fought through to the next Objective, Black Friday. What did Black Friday mean, here at Dallas HQ?

Operation GRILLOUT. And let me tell you, it was perfect.

In other news, Welby's been spotted brawling over flatscreens at malls in flyover country. But that's a different homily.

God bless,

LSP

Happy Thanksgiving!

Look, everyone, don't let Megyn Kelly's appalling new book ruin your Thanksgiving. Just put it out of your mind and concentrate on having fun with friends and family.

And if you're about to get on the road and drive to, say, Dallas, be careful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

LSP

Scorn Megyn Kelly

Megynne Kelly, who's angling for a $20 million contract and hedged her bets on a Trump lose, has published a memoir, Settle For More. Go figure.

Megynne's cash getting drivel has been slated by reviewers on Amazon. Here's a sample.

In a fit of free speech, Amazon removed many of the reviews. Megynne, who was once popular and attractive, has become ugly and is now scorned by ordinary Americans everywhere.

Who knows, perhaps the multi-millionaire celebrity journalist will find a slot with Jeff "I'm Not Corrupt" Zucker's despised CNN.

And maybe Hillary won the election.

Megyn, we scorn you.

LSP

Who is Welby, Cheap Two-Bit Grifter or Solo Crime Fighter?

It's a far cry from the silk robes of Westminster Abbey and the gilded Fish Miter of Canterbury Cathedral but photographic evidence reveals Archbishop Justin Welby has left his posh Lambeth Palace digs for the mean streets of Detroit.

Initial reports suggested that the leader of the struggling CofE was panhandling for spare change and hustling pawnshops in America's onetime automotive capital, in a desperate bid to meet his shrinking denomination's budgetary shortfall.

However, recent photos show a different Welby, a solo crime fighter gunning a motorcycle through the abandoned Studebaker plant and posing alongside a homemade vigilante network poster.

Detroit Police Chief, James Craig, appears to welcome the Archbishop's new initiative.

"Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon. If Justin Welby wants to be part of taking back our streets, that's fine. Detroit's a big city,” said Chief Craig to local press.

Others aren't convinced. "Welby can set up as a Motor City crime fighter but no one's fooled, it's just a cheap stunt," said one resident, "I saw him grifting outside Cobo Hall on Monday, he's always after spare change."

Archbishop Justin Welby, cheap two-bit grifter or Motor City solo crime fighter?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

It's Bushcraft Wednesdy and time once again to remind ourselves that life isn't just about sitting in a cubicle in the metrosprawl and getting your factory produced "food" from the nearest Tom Thumb. No, you can get out in the wild and do it yourself.

That can be dangerous and here at the Compound we hope you find this short infovideo as helpful as we do.

Your Friend,

LSP

Fake News?

There's fake news and there's fake news. Here at the Compound we choose to not listen to CNN and its pathetic millionaire socialist lib loser, Jeff so-called Zucker.

What can I say? The otters have it.

Rule Britannia,

LSP

I Hate Your Network

In Trump's America the fun never ends, unless you're CNN President, Jeff Zucker, who got a Golden Tower pounding yesterday along with other millionaire Media celebrities.

Dishonest, Deceitful, Liars

In a leaked report of the event,"Trump started with Jeff Zucker and said 'I hate your network, everyone at CNN is a liar and you should be ashamed.'" But the property tycoon's scorn wasn't just reserved for Zucker's embarrassingly biased fake news network, other members of the Press got it too, as the President Elect called them out for being "dishonest, deceitful liars."

This caused one member of the agitprop arm of the Democrat Party, who was interviewed by the pathetically comsymp millionaire socialist New Yorker, to have an emotional meltdown. 

“I have to tell you, I am emotionally ****ing pissed,” another participant said. “How can this not influence coverage? I am being totally honest with you. Toward the end of the campaign, it got to a point where I thought that the coverage was all about [Trump’s] flaws and problems. And that’s legit. But, I thought, O.K., let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. After the meeting today, though—and I am being human with you here—I think, ***k him! I know I am being emotional about it. And I know I will get over it in a couple of days after Thanksgiving. But I really am offended. This was unprecedented. Outrageous!”

But I really am offended. This was unprecedented. Outrageous! Maybe you didn't get the memo, crybaby. Nobody cares.

According to one Intelligence Community insider, a number of press passes are about to be revoked.

Yes, please.

LSP

Melania is Awesome and the Posh Challenge

One of the Team's not too happy about the way Melania's being treated by the progleft commie fashionistas and sent in the above "meme." Some of you know the sender as "BW" and she's famous on both sides of the Atlantic for her ability to impersonate "Posh Spice."

Posh, aka Victoria Beckham, no longer smiles in public after the Sunday Sport accused the celebrity of being a "Village Idiot." 

BW, can you do the "Posh" smile? The challenge is on.

Arduus ad Solem,

LSP

Let Them Eat Steak

you have the steaks... you have the wines... and all of that. Donald Trump

It's a brave new dawn in America, as oppressed people everywhere shake off the shackles of oppression and get down to the serious business of pounding the mahogany to the tune of steak and wine.

Both of these are affordable now, thanks to Danaldus Magnus, and here at the Compound we took advantage of that, scoring a "Threeper" of New York strips at Walmart for $15 bucks. Yes readers, that's right, 5 dollars a steak and guess what, they were delicious. 

Seared for a minute a side in an iron skillet and put in the oven at 400 for 3 minutes. Did Marmite butter feature? Sure it did, along with egg and chips (French Fries).

Was it tasty? Yes it was, as tasty as the Network Heads and their millionaire socialist, comsymp, agitprop shills in the media getting a beating in the Golden Tower. 

“Trump started with Jeff Zucker and said I hate your network, everyone at CNN is a liar and you should be ashamed…" Right on, Magnus.

The next day, the Team got out in the field with a couple of deadly assault rifles and settled into some serious business. Just you, the country and the guns. Sorry, rainbow rider losers, there's freedom in that.

Gun rights,

LSP

Hot Chocolate Onesies And Kittens

In Safe Space no one can hear you scream! Anonymous

You're proably wondering, scornfully, "Is LSP capable of serious thought?" Well, maybe not, but George Rutler is. Here's the Upper East Side onetime Anglican on the discouraging "safe space" trend:

"Professors who never attained moral maturity themselves, reacted by providing “safe spaces” for students traumatized by reality. In universities across the land, by a sodality of silliness in the academic establishment, these “safe spaces” were supplied with soft cushions, hot chocolate, coloring books, and attendant psychologists. More than one university in the Ivy League provided aromatherapy along with friendly kittens and puppies for weeping students to cuddle. A college chaplaincy invited students to pray some prescribed litanies that offered God advice in an advisory capacity.

"The average age of a Continental soldier in the American Revolution was one year less than that of a college freshman today. Alexander Hamilton was a fighting lieutenant-colonel when 21, not to mention Joan of Arc who led an army into battle and saved France when she was about as old as an American college sophomore. In our Civil War, eight Union generals and seven Confederate generals were under the age of 25. The age of most U.S. and RAF fighter pilots in World War II was about that of those on college junior varsity teams. Catholics who hoped in this election for another Lepanto miracle will remember that back in 1571, Don Juan of Austria saved Western civilization as commanding admiral when he was 24."

Don Juan was twenty four when he took down the Moslem sea jihad.  Ponder that and as you do, reflect on the West's cultural devolution. Who will save us? Rome? Moscow?

I'm not a betting man but I'd lay odds on the latter. Then again, all the polls were confounded last Tuesday so perhaps there's hope for the West yet.

Sink me, a Guinea on the Monkey.

LSP

Safe Space

A friend from England was discussing America's gun laws and how they might not work in the UK, "Think downtown Romford on a Saturday night, throw guns into the mix and Boom! They'd all be dead, innit."

Piers Morgan Being Appalling Somewhere in England

Even the most ardent firearms enthusiast might have to concede a point, though I bravely countered with "being able to defend yourself is a hallmark of a free society." Picture the scene, you're strolling down a street in Soho looking for fun and up saunters Piers Morgan, all raced up from Champagne and Gin at the Groucho. So Whaddya do? Call the police?

Alien Gear

That's a negative, by the time London's Finest arrive it's too late. No. You pull out a Glock like a free man and shoot it dead, but you can't do that in England, which brings us back to America.

It Works

In this country you can defend yourself and I'd argue that qualified persons should carry in order to defend the unarmed citizenry against bad actors, like Piers Morgan and Lena Dunham. My friend agreed, "It's like a duty."

Safe Space

With that in mind, my carry weapon's a Glock 21. I know, I know, it's not a .357 Magnum or an awesome Kimber, but whatever, the Glock's all business and gets the job done. What's the job?

Creating a safe space, obviously.

Gun Rights,

LSP

Lena Dunham, Loser

Celebrity millionaire socialist, Lena Dunham, campaigned tirelessly for Candidate Clinton, filling Hillary's presidential run with a thick, cloying fog of canting hubris ridden smug. 

Then bang, Clinton lost by a landslide and flew into an uncontrollable rage, slinging champagne bottles through hotel flatscreens and clawing at Mook like a wild beast. They had to sedate her as she thrashed on the floor of the Victory Suite, shrieking obscenities.

Painful at a Cellular Level 

And all thanks to Lena Dunham. Imagine the celebrity leftist's stomach churning waking nightmare when she discovered her idol had gone down in flames. It made her sick:

"Watching the numbers in Florida, I touched my face and realized I was crying. ‘Can we please go home?’ I said to my boyfriend. I could tell he was having trouble breathing, and I could feel my chin breaking into hives.”

A Clay Golem

Yes, hives. Dunham's pain at costing Clinton the presidency bored right down to her inner being, to the "cellular level," and let's not forget the agony of betrayal, having to live with the fact that women didn't vote for Hillary:

"It is painful on a cellular level knowing those men got what they wanted, just as it’s painful to know you are hated for daring to ask for what is yours.”

“It’s painful to know that white women, so unable to see the unity of female identity, so unable to look past their violent privilege, and so inoculated with hate for themselves, showed up to the polls for him, too."

Yeah, they did. Sorry, Dunham, for some reason you failed to convince.

Loser

Rumors that Canada is building a "Great Northern Wall" to keep Lena Dunham out of the country are entirely with foundation.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Aftermath

Here at the Compound we're drinking strong coffee, dusting off the Steuben and cleaning guns while, ahem, loyal staff polish the Mess silver.

A lot of this fast-paced, hi-stress action takes place on the porch, where Blue Eschaton has set up in vigilant defense.

Crazed

In related news, it seems that Hillary wasn't able to address her party faithful on election night because she'd fallen into a psychotic, drunken rage, clawing at long-suffering staffers while hurling inanimate objects at Mook and the well known Satanist, John Podesta.

A Typical Texan Tailgate

Hell hath no fury, eh? America, looks like you dodged a bullet.

God bless Texas,

LSP