A Short London Pitch

 

Beautiful, Look What We've Lost

What's you favorite city? The DFW Metrosprawl, New York, Chicago, DC, Paris, Rome, Venice, Detroit? They're all great in their way, though some more so than others, but for me it's London, perhaps because I lived there for years and see it as something of a home town.

These days I like central London, which, for me, means that area going West from St. Paul's to St. James, encompassing Clerkenwell, Holborn, Bloomsbury, Covent Garden and the Strand, the Embankment, Soho, Piccadilly, and the Mall. Knightsbridge and South Ken seem a bit far West and perhaps always has done. Still, Solemn High Mass at the Oratory is a must, followed by Sunday lunch at the East India Club. Delicious.

Oh My, We've Devolved

After that, you can stroll down Shaftsbury Avenue to Bar Italia in Soho and enjoy a coffee or two, followed by an RV with old pals at a welcoming pub, maybe the Coach and Horses or French House in Soho, maybe somewhere else, like the Lamb in Lamb's Conduit Street, or wherever. Big fun, then stroll back through the genuinely Olde Streets of old London Town to your setup. 

Perhaps that's the top floor of the Farmers Club on Whitehall, most congenial and affordable to boot. Here, have a look from it's rooms today, from Whitehall Place looking East:

Behold

There it is, London. The center of town's changed, for sure, since the far-off, halcyon days of the '90s, when I last lived there, but still, it doesn't seem so very off, and the grandeur and history of the place are very much alive, albeit swarmed by tourists. You can avoid those, though, if you nav away from their game trails. As in Leicester Square, etc.

See That Little Cupola Onna Terace? Favorite Place. There'll Always Be An Agra

When you get tired of the hurly burley, and there's plenty of that, fall back to the NatLib on the Embankment and setup in serenity on the Terrace cupola. Right congenial. When you get tired of that, retreat to the Farmers Club for a delicious sandwich at the bar and stroll over to Soho, which may or may not involve rickshaws and associated hi-spirits.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Manifest Destiny

 

Here we are, on the very verge of celebrating the birth of Christ, of adding our Magnificat to Mary's. That in mind, I called up Ma LSP from the lit up front office of the Compound, aka "porch" to see how things were progressing in Dallas. Well, apparently.

"We had a lovely evening at the neighbor's yesterday, they have a golf cart which is illumined by lights and went for a ride around the neighborhood to see the Christmas decorations. They seem so much better from the cart than when I take my walk." I reflected on that.

"Touring around a lit up area in some kind of cart is pretty much always a good thing to do, perhaps you would've enjoyed a rikshaw ride around Soho, London, back in October?" Always practical, Ma LSP asked, "How much does that cost?" 

Good question, "I think we paid around 20 bucks. It just seemed right after dinner at the Club. But yes, neither you nor anyone else has any business climbing into a Soho rickshaw at midnight. Not to worry, we waved at all the street revelers as we passed them by."

My partner in rickshaw crime sent a message the following day, "It would seem, my dear LSP, that you led us on a kind of reverse Dante of an excursion." Well he had a point, but it was fun, no doubt about it, and you're all welcome to join in when we all descend upon WHITEHALL to liberate the once United Kingdom, our Mother Country.

Speaking of which, 47's on a (t)roll, have you seen? First we annex Canada, freeing its population, then we reclaim the Panama Canal, about time, and then we BUY GREENLAND. Whoa. Manifest. Destiny. Rock on, Mr. President.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

A Typical London Sunday

 

So whaddya do on any given Sunday in London, capitol city of the Sceptred Isle? Good question and there's many options, but here in LSPland we like to go down this route. 

Viz. Wake up, this is important. Then, ablutions complete, get dressed. Maybe this involves a Harvie & Hudson shirt, a regimental or club tie, and some kind of suit, two button, three button, double breasted. Your choice, there's no rule. Then polish your shoes, like a pro.

The Best Shirts? I Call Yes

Well done, you've got this far. Next step, walk with urgency to the nearest underground railway, picking up strong covfefe on the way. Two stops later you're in Knightsbridge, marvel at the hordes of tourists getting off at this stop and join them, where are they going?

Not to shop, because these are shut 'til Noon, so perhaps they're going to Mass, just like you. A few minutes later find yourself at the Brompton Oratory, right on time for the 11.00 am Solemn High, and guess what, this large church is packed with all manner of people. Young, old, rich, poor, English, foreign, you name it, there they are, all present and correct to worship God according to the Western Rite of the Mystical Body of Christ. But hold on.

Beautiful

Parse Western Rite as an oriented Solemn High with three Sacred Ministers, in Latin with English readings, and the order of the new(ish) Mass. In other words, an Eastward facing Solemn High Latin variant of the Novus Ordo, all set to beautiful music, think Tallis and all of that. Which, dear readers, is the way liturgical reform should have gone but didn't.

Well, the proof of the pudding's in the eating and the Oratory's packed while guitar playing nun, wymxn priestess churches aren't. So. Mass over, not that the sacrifice ever ends, stride out uplifted onto the Brompton Road. Gaze at Harrods on your right and reflect on the times you've been there since a child, but don't go in.

EIC - Most Congenial

Instead, catch a cab to the East India Club, it's not far away, just off St. James, and enjoy a drink before lunch. Maybe you want a Bloody Mary, a French 75 or a Martini, whatever, your call, then enjoy smoked salmon carved off the trolley, roast beef, perfectly medium rare, and a desert. My choice is this: A scoop of chocolate ice cream and a double espresso. You see, you can mix the coffee with the ice cream and it tastes like perfection, word to the wise.

Lunch evolution over, you can go upstairs to the comfortable and historic Waterloo Room or stroll over to the In & Out (Naval & Military) to enjoy the after party before heading back to SOHO. Yes, this is still a thing and doesn't seem to have changed so very much in thirty or so years. In fact, the place seems to be recovering after the UK's heinous COVID lockdown. 

Don't be Fooled, This Place is Always Packed

Whatever, Team LSP favors the FRENCH HOUSE and the COACH & HORSES. And that's how Sunday night finishes, mission accomplished, a job well done.

Cheers,

LSP

BACK

 

So just what, exactly, are you back from, so-called LSP? I'll tell you, an explosive tour around the Old Country. In brief: Survive the Eclipse Event, enter a portal and land at Heathrow, set up in Whitehall, take care of business, stroll 'round the corner to the jolly old NatLib and go from there, London's your oyster, and what an oyster it is.

Typical Whitehall Street Scene

Yes indeed, not least the Brompton Oratory where they celebrate the Mass in Solemn High grand style and, let the reader understand, in good time. Yep, an hour and fifteen minutes from beginning to end, concert high. 

NatLib - Shocking Slack

After that, catch a cab to St. James Square and Sunday lunch at the East India, order off the trolley like a pro and then, delicious meal over, stroll across the way to the In & Out (Naval and Military) and take advantage of their beautiful courtyard.

A Brazen Goat

Brazen courtyard goat notwithstanding, catch a fast train to Edinburgh and stay at the Royal Scots, what a congenial club. Ludlow beckons next, an idyllic market town which is rightly famous for the Blue Boar. Stop there for drinks and snacks. Next up? Back to London and Soho.

Prix Fixe

Get off at Euston, thanking God you're wearing a stab vest, catch a cab to Soho and have fun from thereon in. Maybe that involves multiple Negronis. Last leg of the tour, fly into Calgary and marvel at one gallon of milk costing EIGHT BUCKS. No kidding, something better change. Rock on.

Your Expat Pal,

LSP

Pubs

 

One of the things you can do in London is go to pubs, I like that and enjoyed the Princess of Prussia, the famous French House and the Coach & Horses, the last two being in Soho.

Just a lot of fun but be ready for a bit of a scrum inside and out the Soho pubs for the first part of the evening. They get more manageable as the night goes on. Then, after last orders, you can stroll down the road to Bar Italia for coffee. Always a good result.

And I know it's not a pub but I like Gordon's, which is a wine bar on Villiers Street, next to Charing Cross station. Back in the '80s the action was all inside, in a cellarlike bar, but now you can spread out onto a congenial terrace, and drink your claret under helpful heat lamps. The food's good too, simple and not too pricey.

Convenient. You can walk down the Strand or the Embankment, pull into Gordon's, enjoy that, then head over to Soho for the rest of the night. Fun, and it was good to revisit old haunts and discover they were still there, mostly unchanged.

Of course other things have changed, but that's another story.

Pints all 'round,

LSP

9/11

It's 9/11 and the flags are flying in this small Texan farming community. Of course they're always flying at the Compound but on special occasions extra flags go out, courtesy of the Town and our local militias. I like that, it seems right.

It's right, too, to remember the Saudi Arabian driven attack on the US and the subsequent never-ending war that's followed, a war in which we're seemingly incapable of naming our enemy. Would that be because we're allied to the Mecca-based opposition? Perhaps.

Shortly after the attack I was in London, in a pub, oddly enough. I was all for America unleashing on Saddam and full of righteous retribution. But a friend countered, suggesting that it might be a better solution to attack Saudi Arabia and arm the Kurds. With hindsight, good call.

Speaking of foreign policy, let's not forget Hillary. Yes, the same deceitful, spiritually dead harridan who blamed the deaths of Benghazi on a video and fell into a drunken, violent rage when she lost the election and the power she craved; what of her? Why, the answer's easy.

LOCK HER UP.

LSP

#MEGA

What do the English care about, I asked myself as I strolled across Trafalgar Square in what was once the capital of Empire. I soon found out.

Scouse Lives Matter

Rebuild The Wall

And the French House.

As always, London was great and big fun to see old friends.

#MEGA

LSP

Safe Space

A friend from England was discussing America's gun laws and how they might not work in the UK, "Think downtown Romford on a Saturday night, throw guns into the mix and Boom! They'd all be dead, innit."

Piers Morgan Being Appalling Somewhere in England

Even the most ardent firearms enthusiast might have to concede a point, though I bravely countered with "being able to defend yourself is a hallmark of a free society." Picture the scene, you're strolling down a street in Soho looking for fun and up saunters Piers Morgan, all raced up from Champagne and Gin at the Groucho. So Whaddya do? Call the police?

Alien Gear

That's a negative, by the time London's Finest arrive it's too late. No. You pull out a Glock like a free man and shoot it dead, but you can't do that in England, which brings us back to America.

It Works

In this country you can defend yourself and I'd argue that qualified persons should carry in order to defend the unarmed citizenry against bad actors, like Piers Morgan and Lena Dunham. My friend agreed, "It's like a duty."

Safe Space

With that in mind, my carry weapon's a Glock 21. I know, I know, it's not a .357 Magnum or an awesome Kimber, but whatever, the Glock's all business and gets the job done. What's the job?

Creating a safe space, obviously.

Gun Rights,

LSP