Clubland Shoot Out

 

So, you ask yourself with bated breath, what's the best London club, excluding Brooks, Whites and Boodles?* Good question, best for what? General ambiance, food, architecture, location, sheer clubishness? All of those things and more, surely, come together into one harmonious whole. So what's the best? In this short post we offer up a few old favourites to compare and contrast.

The NatLib (National Liberal Club). Faded glory meets absurdly high ceilings in what some describe as the "best preserved Victorian interior in London." Perhaps it is, and it does have an outstanding terrace overlooking the Embankment Gardens where you can smoke and drink. Food? Most reasonable if fixey.

The East India Club. On St. James Square and more formal than the shockingly slack NatLib. Enjoy the American Bar, which has faux American timbers, wonder at the history of the storied Waterloo Room and enjoy an excellent Sunday lunch. No kidding, it's good.

In & Out. Once housed in grander surroundings, the fabled In & Out still ain't shabby, being housed in Nancy Astor's place on St. James Square. Congenial and well-priced bar food at the Goat Brasserie, an awesome courtyard, where you can smoke, and the place is beautiful. Very much open on the weekend.

Farmers. I love the Farmers Club. It's just a couple of addresses down from the NatLib on Whitehall Place and isn't grand architecturally. But it is well put together in a country house kind of way, has rooms, delicious food and a great if small terrace where you can watch the NatLib yahoos whoop it up 500 yards away. Book a room while you can, they're in demand.

Reform. Fabled site of around the world in so many days, Reform's a cut above, with beautiful architecture, delicious food and a perfect garden which it shares with the Trav and Athenaeum. It also has rooms, which is great but... Madonna filmed there. I asked a member, "Didn't Madonna film here?" And she looked at me, "Hardly our finest moment."

So what's the best Club, who wins the shootout? It all depends, because they're all good in their various ways. But let's hold fire, Team LSP is visiting the UK in September where we'll put these establishments, and several more, to the acid test.

Rus in Urbe,

LSP

*I used to love Boodles but that's another episode.

A Typical London Sunday

 

So whaddya do on any given Sunday in London, capitol city of the Sceptred Isle? Good question and there's many options, but here in LSPland we like to go down this route. 

Viz. Wake up, this is important. Then, ablutions complete, get dressed. Maybe this involves a Harvie & Hudson shirt, a regimental or club tie, and some kind of suit, two button, three button, double breasted. Your choice, there's no rule. Then polish your shoes, like a pro.

The Best Shirts? I Call Yes

Well done, you've got this far. Next step, walk with urgency to the nearest underground railway, picking up strong covfefe on the way. Two stops later you're in Knightsbridge, marvel at the hordes of tourists getting off at this stop and join them, where are they going?

Not to shop, because these are shut 'til Noon, so perhaps they're going to Mass, just like you. A few minutes later find yourself at the Brompton Oratory, right on time for the 11.00 am Solemn High, and guess what, this large church is packed with all manner of people. Young, old, rich, poor, English, foreign, you name it, there they are, all present and correct to worship God according to the Western Rite of the Mystical Body of Christ. But hold on.

Beautiful

Parse Western Rite as an oriented Solemn High with three Sacred Ministers, in Latin with English readings, and the order of the new(ish) Mass. In other words, an Eastward facing Solemn High Latin variant of the Novus Ordo, all set to beautiful music, think Tallis and all of that. Which, dear readers, is the way liturgical reform should have gone but didn't.

Well, the proof of the pudding's in the eating and the Oratory's packed while guitar playing nun, wymxn priestess churches aren't. So. Mass over, not that the sacrifice ever ends, stride out uplifted onto the Brompton Road. Gaze at Harrods on your right and reflect on the times you've been there since a child, but don't go in.

EIC - Most Congenial

Instead, catch a cab to the East India Club, it's not far away, just off St. James, and enjoy a drink before lunch. Maybe you want a Bloody Mary, a French 75 or a Martini, whatever, your call, then enjoy smoked salmon carved off the trolley, roast beef, perfectly medium rare, and a desert. My choice is this: A scoop of chocolate ice cream and a double espresso. You see, you can mix the coffee with the ice cream and it tastes like perfection, word to the wise.

Lunch evolution over, you can go upstairs to the comfortable and historic Waterloo Room or stroll over to the In & Out (Naval & Military) to enjoy the after party before heading back to SOHO. Yes, this is still a thing and doesn't seem to have changed so very much in thirty or so years. In fact, the place seems to be recovering after the UK's heinous COVID lockdown. 

Don't be Fooled, This Place is Always Packed

Whatever, Team LSP favors the FRENCH HOUSE and the COACH & HORSES. And that's how Sunday night finishes, mission accomplished, a job well done.

Cheers,

LSP

BACK

 

So just what, exactly, are you back from, so-called LSP? I'll tell you, an explosive tour around the Old Country. In brief: Survive the Eclipse Event, enter a portal and land at Heathrow, set up in Whitehall, take care of business, stroll 'round the corner to the jolly old NatLib and go from there, London's your oyster, and what an oyster it is.

Typical Whitehall Street Scene

Yes indeed, not least the Brompton Oratory where they celebrate the Mass in Solemn High grand style and, let the reader understand, in good time. Yep, an hour and fifteen minutes from beginning to end, concert high. 

NatLib - Shocking Slack

After that, catch a cab to St. James Square and Sunday lunch at the East India, order off the trolley like a pro and then, delicious meal over, stroll across the way to the In & Out (Naval and Military) and take advantage of their beautiful courtyard.

A Brazen Goat

Brazen courtyard goat notwithstanding, catch a fast train to Edinburgh and stay at the Royal Scots, what a congenial club. Ludlow beckons next, an idyllic market town which is rightly famous for the Blue Boar. Stop there for drinks and snacks. Next up? Back to London and Soho.

Prix Fixe

Get off at Euston, thanking God you're wearing a stab vest, catch a cab to Soho and have fun from thereon in. Maybe that involves multiple Negronis. Last leg of the tour, fly into Calgary and marvel at one gallon of milk costing EIGHT BUCKS. No kidding, something better change. Rock on.

Your Expat Pal,

LSP