Church of England Elects First Boy Bishop Since the Middle Ages!

In a surprise move, the Church of England has elected its first Boy Bishop since the Middle Ages.

Rev. Libby Lane, who was a priestess in the Diocese of Chester, has been named as the new Boy Bishop of Stockport, in greater Manchester. After the surprise announcement, the new Boy Bishop said, "So today I pray will not be simply about one woman called up a new ministry in the church but much more than that, an opportunity to acknowledge all that has gone before and to look ahead to what is still to be done."

What beautiful thoughts, Libby!

The Episcopal Church has had Boy Bishops for years.

Good luck, CofE.

LSP

Church of England Infographic

Presented without comment.

LSP

Church of England Talent Pool, Caught on Camera?

The Church of England's elusive Talent Pool may have been caught on camera, running through Victorian sewers beneath Merseyside.

Filmed by engineers, the mysterious creature has long back legs and glowing eyes. Paranormal experts speculate that the pipe prowling Talent Pool has been feeding off fat deposits and waste water. 

Taken by surprise at the unexpected sighting, cameraman Ian Appleton stated, “I physically jumped when I saw the Talent Pool."

Others aren't convinced, claiming that the Talent Pool was just a hoax staged by United Utilities, as part of the water company's What To Flush marketing campaign which uses school visits, advertising and PR stunts to encourage customers to think before they flush.

Is the frightening creature filmed in Liverpool's sewers the CofE's fast-track to promotion, or yet another MBA inspired sales drive to reverse the declining denomination's fortunes?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Atheist Santa

"Dear Santa," writes the smirking atheist girl to her imaginary friend, "All I want for Christmas is to skip church." The substantial little disbeliever then goes on to explain herself. She's too old, apparently, "to believe in fairy tales."

Why does she believe in Santa, then? 

Maybe she wants to have her cake and eat it too, but speaking of fairy tales,

Happy Kwanzaa,

LSP

Gaudete Sunday

Today is Gaudete Sunday and the Church, in her wisdom, tells us to rejoice and lift up our hearts as we prepare to celebrate the advent of our Lord at Christmas. 

Part of that sursum corda means posting some random pictures of guns. I don't know why, it just makes me happy.

Apparently that's an easy thing to achieve; put some rifles on a table, ready to go, and it's all about, well, gaudium et spes. And I'm not talking about the document, either. 

Harvard

And by the way, MBAs are Satan's degrees, especially when they're backstopped by his infernal engine, Harvard. Reflect on that as you attempt to fast-track your way to preferment in the church's talent pool of potential "high achievers."

Cheers,

LSP

Good Dog, Bad Dog

Here, even in this imperfect world, you get good dogs.

And bad dogs.

Some dogs are downright wicked.

And if good dogs go to heaven, what happens to the bad ones? They go to dog hell, obviously

Bad dogs take note. You have been warned.

LSP

Church of England No-Talent Management

The Church of England has hit on a radical new way to reverse its declining fortunes. Hire some consultants and create more bureaucracy, of course.

Budget

In a bold new move to turn around the dismal failure of CofE leaders to get people to go to their failing church, a £2-million budget has been approved to implement Talent Management for Future Leaders and Leadership Development for Bishops and Deans: A new approach.

Talent

In keeping with CofE best practice, training will be run by a secular institution or business school, although a "spiritual retreat" is also envisaged. In step two of the career promotion programme, 150 potential top decision makers will have to pass a 5 year course at Archbishop Justin Welby's London palace.

Success

Failure to pass the five year "path to success" will result in career candidates being thrown out of what the report refers to as a "talent pool" and having to make do as ordinary, if failed, clergypersons. According to the Church Times, the "talent pool" will be made up of up to "150 high-potential individuals."

High Potential

You can read Let Nothing You Dismay for some commentary but I have to say, whatever happened to holiness of life being a qualifier for office in the church? And who's making the profit? 

Throw Up In Your Mouth

I'll tell you this, it won't be parishes or the increase of the Body of Christ. And with that in mind, maybe someone should follow the money all the way to the "talent pool."

God bless,

LSP

Tony Blair BritSoc Millionaire!

I hate to ruin your day, but here's a "Season's" card from everyone's favorite multi-millionaire Brit Socialist, Tony Blair.

Grinning 

Maybe BritSoc Tony's grinning because he's being paid so well by PetroSaudi, or because of his lucrative public speaking engagements and "advisory" roles with investment banks, like JP Morgan.

Demon

Then again, perhaps he's just possessed by the spirit of a Margarine Demon.

I'd say that was pretty scary any way you cut it, which in BritSoc Tony's case is all the way to the bank.

LSP

Celebrity Socialists!

Russell Brand is a celebrity limo-lib socialist. He's also a comedian and a multi-millionaire. Maybe he goes off to an island and shoots poor "runners" for sport. With all the other Illuminati rock stars.

Demon

Russell Brand has 9 million Twitter followers, which is a lot. He also has a stylist who straightens his chest hair, which is repellent by anyone's reckoning.

Posessed

The remarkably rich Russell Brand believes in something called "liquid democracy," which is presumably a very rich person's version of socialism.

Millionaire Socialists

And he hangs out with a well-known Illuminati witch, Katy Perry. She's a multi-millionaire too, and a socialist.

Katy & Russell

Is this some kind of plot by a Godless, atheistical, NWO Illuminati elite to enslave us? And if not, why does it look that way?

Last I heard, the revolution frowned on celebrity multi-millionaire "comedians."

You have been warned.

LSP

For God's Sake, Get Out And Hunt.

It started off with a Mexican breakfast; Huevos Rancheros, eggs over-easy, corn tortillas and lots of coffee. "Power up," texted a friend, who understands these things and it was good advice, because one funeral, one Mass and a lot of driving later, I was at a ranch in Teague, spotlighting.

And that was a whole lot of fun; driving about the country in search of pigs, coyotes, rabbits and whatever varmint crossed our path. Sure enough, we shot several rabbits and lit up lots of deer, including several bucks. It was ghostly to see their eyes shine out as they bounded off into cover and this was a good omen, because I wanted to shoot a buck in the morning.

5.30 am rolled around with eschatological suddenness and before you could say 30-06, we were heading down a dirt road to a game-camera-proven buck location. The wind was in our favor and we walked in to the cover of a copse, stealthy, senses heightened. Sure enough, there were large deer on a treeline at around 200 yards. Crosshairs on and... they were does, and there's a county ban on shooting them. So no shot.

Still, it was good to see them in the crisp sunrise of a Texan December morning. A bit like Spring, in Canada.

After checking a few other spots, with no luck, my friend shot a duck. I missed one, but consoled myself with a fresh rabbit, a lot of venison sausage (thank you) and the promise of many more hunts to come.

What a good way to spend a Thursday evening and Friday morning! Clean air, good country, the excitement of a hunt, and fun company. Alright, I didn't get my buck but I did get outside myself, which is no bad thing for anyone, and added a rabbit to the freezer. My wild-eyed dog, Blue Spotlight, had a blast too.

I'd say everything about that is right on.

LSP

Lords of Light

I put a tree up today in Dallas, the very same one I got a week ago. I thought it looked pretty good in its stand. A little small perhaps, but full.

After the tree was up it was time for a few glasses of fortification and then lights. I put on a fair few; I think it's better that way.

Decorations can come later, nearer Christmas, but I did put a fairy on the tree, sorry, angel. There's a difference, trust me.

The angel has a wax head and was made in Germany. My parents bought it in Milwaukee, back in the olden days, when they still made angels out of wax.

I love the smell of a Christmas tree. The lights can be adjusted as the thing settles.

LSP

African Americans Pick Up After Rich White Hippies

Privileged rich white hippies at America's prestigious University of California Berkley have been rioting against racism, leaving African Americans to clean up their mess.

Typical Berkeley Street Scene

For two consecutive nights, roaming gangs of wealthy white hippies have fought running battles with poor mixed race police, trashing the once attractive university town.

In the absence of effective policing, due to rules of engagement which forbid police from using force against their rich white rulers, shop owners have taken to hiring armed private security.

Similar protests have broken out in Chicago, where police have adopted novel psyops tactics against hippy rioters, playing Sweet Home Alabama from unmarked squad cars.

The University of California Berkeley is a well known hippy safe-haven.

LSP