Melania Mondays!

Like Fortuna herself, White House Communications Directors come and go but one thing remains constant. That's right, Melania Mondays! bringing you uplifting news of America's glamorous and popular First Lady. 

Melania's not been idle, far from it. The former Yugoslavian model has sparked a tourist boom in Slovenia, inspired children, encouraged interns at the White House and booked a trip to Canada, where she's set to lead the US delegation at the Invictus games in Toronto.

Melania Looks Kindly At Wintour

Not shabby, and even Vogue, the world famous transsexual magazine, is so impressed that it's praised Melania for defining First Lady style. But that's not all.

According to the ever-reliable NBC, the First Lady's "disgusted" at Mooch's language and who can blame her? Well done, Melania, for taking a stand for decency and professionalism; after all, it's the White House, not a scene from Good Fellas.

Thank you, First Lady, for continuing to do your part to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP

The Best Story You Never Heard In Your Life

Do you remember the bizarre narrative, read lie, that claimed Donald Trump and his associates were secretly in the employ of the Kremlin? That they were Russian spies, recruited by the chief of KAOS and SPECTRE, Putin himself.

You know, the same faked-up PR witch hunt spin that was put out by Hilary's handlers and their allies in the lying, corrupt, elite media without a shred of evidence. All for what? To save Hillary's losing face at the risk of another Cold War, and so what if the tactic wrecks the country's governance, it's worth it to make your enemy, the President, fail.

Well, you've all heard of karmic lashback and that seems to be on full supply right about now. Or, to put it another way, Boomerangski.

Who was it that supplied the phony Trump Dossier, apart from a British spy, and why were the notoriously criminal, blackmailing Awan brothers given top-level IT clearance at massively inflated rates, and allowed to stay on the job till the very last minute? Surely they didn't have any dirt on their Democrat Paymistress, Debbie Wasserman Shultz, and friends. 

Regardless, the bogus Kremlins fairytale is dying a natural death and its cheerleaders are sloping off into the dark like dogs trying to avoid a beating. But well done, Democrats, your skulduggery and malfeasance has served to destroy cooperation between Russia and America. Too bad, we could have worked together to destroy the Islamist savages.

So much for the peace dividend; saving the optics of Hillary's ignominious and well-deserved thrashing at the polls was apparently worth it for you, our inside-the-Beltway professional ruling class.

Rumors that top Democrats are Crowleyite ritual Satanists are entirely with foundation. And don't mention the pizza.

Of course the lying, corrupt media aren't reporting any of this, making it the best story you never heard in your life.

Stand by the JAMS,

LSP

Kid Rock For Senate

Motor City pop legend, Kid Rock, is running for Senate and he's a big hit with Michigan voters, crushing puny GOP rivals and leading Democrat Debbie Stabenow in the polls.

Kid Rock is getting his fans to register at his pop concerts. He has a lot of fans.

Debbie Syabenow has fans too. She was "with her." That didn't go so well.

Kid Rock isn't very politically correct and favors the Stars and Bars, and Stripes, hunting, fishing and the military. He's also uncomfortable with two dudes getting married but "not opposed" to it.

Can't all be perfect all of the time.

Good luck, Kid.

LSP

Epic GOP Fail, Loser Remix

It's official, the GOP is useless. Despite majorities in both houses, despite a mandate from the country at large, despite campaigning on the promise, these buffoons can't get it together to repeal Obamacare.

The Democrat clowns that brought us this hated, failing, tax masquerading as healthcare are doubtless laughing, and who can blame them.

Of course none of our wealthy ruling elitocracy have to pay the tax or use its so-called services, they're exempt. 

John McCain has a brain disease. 

I pray he recovers.

LSP

Alien Invasion

Are there aliens living amongst us? Technologically advanced creatures from another star or dimension that have the ability to appear human but are, in fact, extraterrestrials? Could they be hiding in plain sight?

A Hybrid

And what's their agenda; power, wealth, world domination and the enslavement of humanity? The gradual replacement of mankind with a race of freakish hybrids; drones of the hive mind collective that slavishly do their off-world rulers' bidding?

A Mantis Person 

Evidence points to their presence in the Church, the Armed Forces, our revered political class, media and entertainment industry. Even Hollywood may not be exempt. 

Space Alien 

Some argue that the burgeoning New World Order itself and its transnational billionaire socialist elitocracy is nothing less than an off-world cabal, hellbent on subjugating the human race.

Speaking of hell, others claim that space aliens aren't to blame but demons are. And note this, Baphomet is trans. Food for thought, eh?

Out Demons, Out.

Your Pal,

LSP

Putin Buys Ice Cream, Like A Boss

Some argue that Russian strongman and former KGB Colonel, Vladimir Putin, is the greatest statesman politician of our time. And a New Constantine to boot.

Others disagree. The Globalist, Satanist, Illuminati, New World Order transnational elitocracy hate him and want us to go to war against this catholic Christian, nationalist upstart, who dares to believe in his country against their bankster hegemon. 

The lying, vain, rude, corrupt, mendacious, venal, gender dysphoric shills in our mainstream media hate Putin.

Make of that what you will.

Stand by the JAMS.

LSP

If You Meet The Buddha On The Road Shoot It

Taking a leaf out of Mr. Kerouac's book, I got on the road with a view to visiting the sick in Fort Worth and escaping the anguished howls of whining fauxtrage emanating from Hollywood celebs and Lena Dunham over Trump's armed forces trans ban. 

Jack Kerouac

I took the Cadet, by way of company, and explained the situation. "You see, old chap, this woman's on a ventilator and might not get better, so I've got to go. Conscience demands it, to say nothing of the Gospel," all very to the point and thank you very much. "But what if we meet the Buddha on the road?" asked the young 'un, suddenly turning all Cassady. "Oh, that's easy. Shoot it, right through the ****ing swede."

Shoot it

We arrived in Fort Worth without incident, thank God, and I left my interlocutor in the hospital cafe while I went upstairs and administered Last Rites. I pray my friend recovers full health. And here's the thing, Pastors.

You've Got A Lot To Answer For, You Two.

If you feel a pang of conscience, an instinct or intuition that you should visit someone in trouble, act on it, don't delay. Notwithstanding the Buddha, of course, which you're at liberty to shoot on the road. And while we're at it, Jack Kerouac was a Mass going Catholic. So was the freakish Andy Warhol.

Not a lot of people know that.

God bless,

LSP

Trump Dumps Rainbow Army

Did you know that members of the US armed forces have mandatory transgender sensitivity training? Because, you know, trans training is what it takes to build an effective modern fighting force and what's an army for if not to act as a crucible for gender advocacy social engineering. 

Who knows, maybe the enemy would've died laughing when confronted by our brave tranny army but thanks to Trump, this risible rainbow transfoolery is at an end. 

Here's the message:

“After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow Transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical cost and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you.”

And here's a picture of a trans traitor, the kind of person who won't be allowed to serve in the military any more.

Let's see what our friends in the self-congratulatory, corrupt, vapid, elite, lying, gender dysphoric, mendacious mainstream media have to say about this. I predict howls of fauxtrage as wounded snowflakes everywhere limp, wounded and crying into the next Pride parade.  

Well done, Mr. President.

LSP

Transiscus

While traditional Roman Catholics are dismayed, others rejoice at Pope Francis' recent trans turn 'round. Via Ignatius:

In a brilliant move which has effectively out-manoeuvred his traditionalist critics Pope Francis has leapt ahead of developments in all but the most advanced Western countries, and given all Catholics the right to determine their own sex. In an interview in the Die Presse, speaking on behalf of Pope Francis, Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn said that every catholic should seek to be ‘at peace in their sex before God.’

Local bishops’ conferences are charged with the task of producing guidelines for parish priests and others as they accompany lay people on their individual journeys of discovery.

Said Cardinal Rinaldo Copacabana who has been given the task of overseeing the logisitics of the exercise: ‘This is a mammoth task. Millions of baptismal certificates and entries in registers will have to be withdrawn and re-issued. But think of the benefits! There need be no more arguments about women priests; and the divorce and remarriage debate will of course be completely transformed. (Think of what Burke will make of that!) And issues of equality and equal pay, which have bedevilled Catholic social teaching for years, will be solved at a stroke.'

Contacted by the National Catholic Register and The Tablet, Fr Spadaro also waxed almost lyrical: ‘This is so, so typical of the mercy and compassion of Our Holy Father. He wants everybody to be happy and everyone to have what they want. But to do so, and at the same time to solve the most serious moral and theological problems facing the Church at the present time, is shere [sic] genius.’

Applications for gender adjustment should be made, in the first instance to:

The Prefect,
Sacred Congregation for Sexual Transition.
Via Della Conciliazione 69
Roma 00192

Diocesan Tribunals will be initiated in due course.

What can we say? All means All.

Carry on,

LSP 

Trans Down Under

What happens when you define truth and reality out of existence by saying it's whatever you want it to be? You get taken over by rainbow ponies and unicorns, that's what happens and Anglican clergypersons are no exception to the rule. 

Here's the Rev. Dr. Jonathan Inkpin, who recently rode the rainbow all the way down under.

Better late than never? Today I am coming out fully as a transgender person... For my coming out has profound spiritual dimensions for me which I believe are sources of healing, strength and renewal for us all. Like my little grandchild cradled in my arms in the photograph (see left) I feel more intimately part of God's 'new creation', a little child cradled in the love of God.

Pretty moving, eh? There's more, in a letter to fellow clergy dated curiously to the Feast of St. Mary Magdalene. In it, "Jo" explains that he's always been a transsexual suffering from "gender dysphoria" and is set to receive "pyschotherapy, hormonal treatments and/or various surgeries." 

These might cause:

increasing physical changes to my face and body, and to other aspects such as voice. I want to reassure you that I will still be the person you have worked with and known.

I will still be the person you have worked with and known. Well that's just it, isn't it. Either you are or you aren't, Jo, and the last time anyone checked you were a man, which is what you'll continue to be, despite chemical and surgical alteration. 

Sadly, for Inkpin and other transsexuals, the surgeon's knife and a battery of pharma can't close the deal, leaving its subject a hybrid at best and a blasphemous parody at worst. 

In either case, that nasty sense of dysphoria isn't likely to go away. But maybe pronouns will help, Inkpin closes with:

Henceforth I ask therefore that you call me Josephine, or Jo, and use female pronouns (she, her) when referring to me. I know this will take a little time to get used to, and I know that mistakes will happen at first. All I ask is that we respect with respect and care for each other as we continue to share God’s journey together.

At least it wasn't ze and zhir but still, calling yourself she and her won't make you a woman any more than forcing people to call you Dash is going to turn you into a beautiful rainbow pony or an adorable unicorn.

Unless you're a clergyperson in the Anglican Church of Australia. That's different.

Ride the Rainbow,

LSP

Detroit's Best Ad Ever!

Dan Gilbert, multibillionaire owner of Bedrock Detroit is committed to revitalizing America's erstwhile automotive powerhouse, which is why he ran this incredible ad. It's Dan's vision for the future Motor City. 

Now, look carefully at the demographics in Dan's ad and think hard about Detroit.

Can you spot the problem? Or is it a solution? While you run the numbers on Dan's vision, here's Mayor Kwame.

He's in jail now and Dan's incredible ad has been taken down.

Good luck, Detroit.

Your friend,

LSP

Fly The Flag

There's talk in some cities, including Dallas, believe it or not, of removing or relocating Confederate monuments. You don't hear that kind of talk here in the country.

I spotted this flag on the way to Mass.

Look, here's another.

And here's some more!

There are no plans to remove the Confederate war memorial in this town. That particular flag's simply not going to fly here and who knows, if you swing by the Compound you might get to use these helpful plates.

Levity aside, those who fought hard and honorably for states rights and their homeland deserve our respect, even if you consider the endeavor misguided. The victorious North, at the end of the war, recognized that much. 

While pondering magnanimity, reflect on this.

It's a near universal truth that whatever the progleft implements produces the exact opposite of its intended result. People fooling with monuments in search of cheap votes might want to take note. 

Deo Vindice.

LSP