Christians have been wondering when the Church of England went off the tracks, and began its downward spiral into becoming a gay advocacy womyn's group. Startling new evidence points to 1941, when a strange object crashed near Cape Girardeau.
A witness claims that the wreckage looked identical to the Church of England, which he described as "a rounded shape with no edges or seams." Police and military were allegedly at the crash scene, where they recovered bodies of what appeared to be CofE bishops and deans.
"It was hard for him to tell if they had on suits or if it was their skin," stated one source, who described the senior clergypersons as having "large, oval-shaped eyes, no noses, just holes and no lips, just small slits for mouths."
Is it possible that space aliens infiltrated the Church of England in the 1940s, and have now spread out to once quiet market towns, like Bury St. Edmunds? Perhaps that would explain the off-world and obviously unfounded rumors of secret "gay annulments" and predatory texts emanating from the hallowed grounds of Bury's Cathedral Close.
While many believe that the Church of England has been the victim of an attack by Extraterrestrials, others claim that things started to go wrong when Henry VIII went ISIS and started chopping off heads.
Cheers,
LSP
6 comments:
ha!-- "went ISIS" -- quite funny, while not at all...
and how about those ladies in red t-shirts. haven't they seen the signs that say "no shoes, no service [much less a Holy Mass]"??
The alternative theory might be that this is not s a genuine UFO crash-retrieval incident but a later propaganda initiative launched by Marxist propagandists during the 1980s.
The outline of such scenario is sketched out in the fictional work 'Quatermass and the Pit' (recently the subject of a book by Kim Newman) in which a crashed flying saucer and its creepy alien occupants is wrongly ascribed to a political trick launched by the Third Reich. In fact, as is soon revealed ancient dark and satanic forces are at work behind these masks....
Still there is a ray of hope in all of this - mention of an annulment should perhaps be taken as a spring time blossom of repentance, a sign one hopes of and a return to Christ and the Blessed Sacraments and to sanity.
I think someone must have taken those signs down, Jenny. They obviously need to be put back up.
Perhaps, Alan, it's the fault of "soft Eurocommunism"? Masking demonic forces?
Good point.
I think that the mantis people/alien UFO theory holds water in this case. Blue Alien Hunter needs to be turned loose on them. He correctly ascertained that mail men are space aliens, let's see if he will do the same thing with the bishops and deans of the C of E.
I think Blue Quatermass would make quick work of these mantids. Especially after the titanium refit.
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