Shrove Tuesday

As faithful Christians were gearing up for Lenten penance, Hillary Rodham Clinton was getting a shriving in New Hampshire, handily beaten by a 74 year Communist, Bernie Sanders. 

The GOP establishment took one in the face too, with celebrity real estate mogul Donald Trump dominating the Republican Party field. Sorry, bow tie and tasseled loafer brigade, you lose.

So what does it mean, we asked ourselves over pancakes at the Missions. A Bern v. Trump shoot-out for the Presidency? A return to the good old days of better dead than red or vice versa and devil take the hindmost?

One thing's sure, if the old commie keeps up at this pacemaker it's going to take a whole lot of flying monkeys to keep Hillary in the running, and out of jail.

Don't forget to go to Mass tomorrow, it's Ash Wednesday.

LSP

Scientist Unlocks Mystery of Junk DNA

Scientists have long been puzzled by what appears to be "Junk DNA" that doesn't code like normal human DNA and appears to have no real purpose. But startling new research may have found an answer, Extraterrestrials.

Sequence The Code

According to Professor Chang of the Human Genome Project, Junk DNA is evidence of an ET "programmer" who "grew" beings in the same way we grow bacteria in a Petri dish. 

“Our hypothesis is that a higher extraterrestrial life form was engaged in creating new life and planting it on various planets," stated Chang, "Earth is just one of them. Perhaps, after programming, our creators grow us the same way we grow bacteria in Petri dishes."

However, Chang believes the alien programmers' motives are unknowable, "We can’t know their motives – whether it was a scientific experiment, or a way of preparing new planets for colonization, or is it long time ongoing business of seedling life in the universe [Sic].”

Junk DNA. The accidental debris of evolution, or proof of space alien bio-engineering.

You be the judge,

LSP

Putin Gives King Beautiful Stallion, Gets Sword

Russian strongman and former KGB Colonel, Vladimir Putin, gave the King of Bahrain a stallion when the monarch visited Russia, and received a sword made from fine Damascus steel and precious metal.

The horse is called Khadjibek and is an Akhal-Teke, a breed known for speed, endurance and intelligence.

In 2010, Russia gave Barack Obama a Blue Ray disc set mounted in a wooden display box, and is now in control of Damascus, unlike Obama, who isn't.

Many argue that Vladimir Putin is the New Constantine.

LSP

Happy Mondays!

Here's a cheery thought to brighten up your day:

Via ZeroHedge -- The political class has completely disrupted the American structure of production, made American workers uncompetitive, snuffed the life out of entrepreneurs, and burdened the entire nation with a debt obligation the size of Jupiter. The US economy is not the strongest and most durable in the world — it is an unskilled thirty-two-year-old waiter crashing at his parent’s place and trying to pay down an $80,000 international relations degree.

That makes me want to go out and shoot pistols, but then again I don't need much tempting.

Gun Rights,

LSP 

Transfiguration

Today's the last Sunday of the Epiphany and Jesus appears in the Gospel, transfigured and standing between Moses and Elijah, as the fulfillment of prophecy and the law. I preached on that, emphasizing the spiritual ascent of the faithful up Mt. Tabor, culminating in our own transfiguration.

Easier said than done, of course, as we fall back down the mountain from time to time. "The Devil made me do it the first time," I told the congregation, "the second time I done it all on my own." 

Some say that a sermon's only half a sermon if it doesn't include at least one line from Waylon Jennings.

Enjoy the game,

LSP

Shoot The Turkey

It's a sad fact of life that in this vale of tears we have enemies. My enemy is an ancient steel turkey and I took some time off from visiting the sick to take care of unfinished business.

We faced off at 100 yards, just me, the metal bird and a Ruger American .22. To be honest, I had an ulterior motive. Viz. To improve the recent abysmal standard of my off-hand shooting. So I shot away and while my marksmanship was nothing to write home about, it wasn't too bad either. Take that, turkey.

After a string of satisfying plinks as the .22 rounds hit the bird, I shifted to clays at 50, 75 and 100 yards. A bit more of a challenge than the turk and it's neat to see them shatter when you hit them. A couple of aggressive tin cans found themselves in trouble too. Breath, squeeze the trigger and watch the can fly up in the air. Neat.

Shoot over, I headed back to the Compound and the prospect of large steaks for dinner. There's nothing quite like doing your best to break personal stereotypes, I always think.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

This One's For LL, Rebel Son

What can we say? Rebel Son.

All for the Cause,

LSP

So Who is Marco Rubio?

The American public and the world wants to know, who is presidential hopeful, Marco Rubio?

Is he a shill for the New World Order and the GOP establishment?

Maybe he's just an enthusiastic boy.

Or a bat-eared alien, masquerading as a normal man.

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Killer No. 1

It seems those mischievous Russians are at it again! This time they've taken to beaming videos of President Obama onto buildings in downtown Moscow, portraying him as a devil eating up nations as though they were souls.

A Typical Russian Art Gallery

President Obama is frequently ridiculed by Russian pranksters, who see him as a figure of scorn and derision. By contrast, former KGB strongman, Vladimir Putin, is seen by many as a New Constantine.

According to recent polls, 18% of all Americans believe Obama is a Muslim, 43% of Republicans believe the same.

Make of that what you will.

LSP

And So It Begins, A New Dark Age

The Iraqis are building a wall around Baghdad to stop Jihad barbarians from driving into the city and blowing it and its people up.

If anyone thinks this is reminiscent of the later Roman Empire and the Dark Ages, they'd be right. The wall will be three meters high, made of concrete and backed up by a trench, or "moat."

Constantinople's walls were considerably larger and held back the barbarians until the 15th century. We'll see how long Baghdad's new wall lasts and have to ask how many other cities will follow suit. 

Some Americans believe that a wall should be built around Detroit, but that would be to keep the barbarians in.

Cheers,

LSP

Obama, You Are A Mosque Dhimmwit

Barack Hussein Obama made his first presidential visit to a US mosque today and praised Islam for its compassionate mercy and charity.

“Like so many faiths, Islam is rooted in a commitment to compassion and mercy and justice and charity," stated Obama, "Whoever wants to enter paradise, the prophet Mohammad taught, let him treat people the way he would love to be treated.”

Poltroon

So what part of plundering a city like Khaybar and taking its women as sex slave wives counts as charity? But maybe beheading 700 Jews at Medina is the way Mohammed wanted to be treated, as in eye for an eye. I think that's in the Koran somewhere, and the Prophet took it from the Old Testament while ignoring the New.

Mountebank

Here's the thing; Muslims are supposed to emulate Mohammed and they often fail. Christians are supposed to emulate Christ, and like their Muslim counterparts they don't do a desperately good job of it. Now, one of these religious leaders was a warlord who took captured women as sex slaves, the other wasn't and didn't. 

Clown

Let's not pretend, by some magical, rainbow hued, frolicking unicorn sleight of hand that both religions share the same values, as though Mohammed was just another way of spelling Jesus. They're very different, as are the implications of following either.

Dhimmwit

Or to put it another way, Obama, you are a Dhimmwit.

From the House of War,

LSP

Clay Golem Self-Censors!

Notorious Clay Golem, Lena Dunham, is self-censoring herself from the popular social media platform, Twitter. 

According to Breitbart, the celebrity Clay Golem felt threatened and bullied by hostile tweets, so it won't return to Twitter unless safeguards are put in place.

Clay Golems can be deactivated by removing the shem from their mouths. 

LSP