Gold Bar Bob

 

Gold Bar Bob (right)

Federal prosecutors have indicted Senator Bob Menendez (D-NJ) and his wife on a series of corruption charges following the discovery of $480,000 in cash at his home and $100,000 in gold bars. A further $70,000 was discovered in a safe deposit box. Much of the cash was stashed in clothing and closets.

Wow, that's a solid chunk of change, Gold Bar Bob, it surely pays to be a Senator. But everyone knows this, they're all at it in the hallowed halls of our great constitutional non-republic. So what broke the kamala's back in this instance of cash-in-envelope skulduggery and fiscal malfeasance?

Perhaps the sheer, low level, greedy audacity of it all. Gold Bar Bob broke Washington's Goldilocks rule, as in just a spoonful of porridge not the whole dam pot. Zero comments:

(Gov. Newsom (D) recently warned) “If that’s the new criteria, there are a lot of folks in a lot of industries — not just in politics — where people have family members and relationships and they’re trying to parlay and get a little influence and benefit in that respect. That’s hardly unique.”

If these allegations against Menendez are proven, then he violated Washington’s Goldilocks rule. It would mean that Menendez pursued gifts with a reckless abandon, endangering others whose corruption was more circumspect.

 

Quite. And again:

 

In a town known for a certain finesse in influence peddling, Menendez broke with industry custom by allegedly accepting direct items like gold and a car. This is classic bribery stuff. There was no labyrinth of shell companies and accounts — just crude old-school corruption, with cash stuffed in clothing and gold bars squirreled away for a rainy day.

Where corrupt figures often refer to getting their beaks wet, Menendez allegedly took a headlong plunge into this pool of corruption. This city has not seen such low-grade alleged bribery since former U.S. Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) was found with $90,000 wrapped like a po boy in his freezer.

 

Dammit, Gold Bar, looks like you broke the rules, fella, and now you have to pay. But look, <700K is hardly serious graft or remotely unique in your industry and that's just it. Per Zero again: 

In the end, the problem is not Menendez. It is the array of other politicians who enabled him while dismissing his reputation for corruption. To use Newsom’s words, Menendez is “hardly unique” for cashing in on his position. That is precisely the problem.

 

Gold Bar Bob, who identifies as he/him, protests innocence and claims all that cash and gold was simply the result of careful saving over thirty years of political life. 

Good call, Bob, we believe you.

Cheers,

LSP