Wednesday, March 16, 2016

New Human Dwarf Species Discovered

A mysterious new dwarf branch of the human family has been discovered in a South African cave. Standing at under 5' tall, the previously undiscovered dwarf hominids have baffled scientists.

"It's a really, really strange creature," stated one anthropologist from the University of Johannesburg, "It's like a human, Homo Sapiens, but different, a lot smaller, with ratlike hands and less brain capacity."

15 skeletons of the bizarre dwarf race of near-humans have been unearthed, and might be as much as 3 million years old. Some speculate that they're a "missing link." But a missing link to what?

You, the reader, be the judge. And I'm sorry if this is an old joke, but I'm sticking to it.




LL said...

You can extrapolate small ratlike hands to other parts of the anatomy.

Or so Rubio claimed over and over.

Mattexian said...

Weren't the Hottentots kind of short as a tribe, before we had to stop calling them that?

(Interesting: in reading the Wikipedia, I found the first mission station in southern Africa was established by a Moravian Brother from Saxony, in 1732. I mention it since my Mom's family is Moravian/Brethren Church, and several year ago, when the Methodists were being penny-wise and pound-foolish about certain "social topics," my best friend was ready to go back to the Lutherans of his childhood, and I to the Brethrens of my family, except for the nearest congregation being a few hours drive. Since then I've read up on their "social agenda points," and they're not much better. I think we may have found some churches we agree with, tho they're the Nigerian -affiliated Anglicans, from what I can tell. He's got one across-town from him in San Antone; the nearest to me is in Baytown. That said, the Orthodox seem to be sticking by their guns, and they have a building in town here, but they seem different enough from what I've done before, I'm hesitant to get out on Sunday mornings and Saturday evenings. I know, I know: Nike- just do it!)

LSP said...

I think they were, Mattexian, and there's plenty of "little people" myths around.

You should check out the Orthodox, it'd go with the AK.

LSP said...

i think Rubio's campaign was lacking in certain respects, LL.

Mad Padre said...

The small hands theme is one of the big surprises of this election, but keep wary of the invisible hand.

Mattexian said...

True, very true. While they are Antiochan and might not appreciate me showing up as Bear Cavalry, I haven't found anything to indicate that they're working with any global church agenda to "stop small arms trade" which would eventually get around to using the UN to end our US 2nd Amendment. At least one writer has his head on straight:

LSP said...

Well said, Padre. Hope your SSJE retreat was good.

LSP said...

Antiochan might be a bit less of a culture shock, Mattexian... and thanks for the link, using economia to justify gun control is very odd. As the writer points out, it'd tend to work the other war 'round. But here's a helpful link back: