Thursday, March 10, 2016

Mighty Hunter

A seasoned veteran of the intelligence community threatens to visit for a pig hunt in April and I think his method goes roughly like this. Wait for a massive tusker to charge you and then, calmly, deliberately, shoot it with a .357 Magnum revolver. Probably a Colt Python. In the meanwhile, LSP stands back with a 30 of some sort and a sharp kukri. 

LL Visits Texas

With that in mind, here's a typical hunting tale. 

As I patrolled along a hi-fenceline the dog came to a point, all attention, and there, 150 yards downhill to my left was a giant black pig, black hair bristling menacingly in the hot white light of a Texan morning.

Someone's Pig Hunt Gone Wrong

Fast as you like and maybe faster, up comes my AR, red dot hold on the shoulder of the pig, breathe, squeeze the trigger and... nothing. Try it again, is the gun broken? and... nothing. A split second of consternation.

Random Pictograph Somewhere in Texas

Then thumb-off the safety, fire, and the hog's running like a speeding maglev, barreling through the dystopian ruins of Detroit towards the Windsor tunnel. That one got off to fight again another day. 

Maybe this good fortune will change sometime soon.

Attention to detail,



LL said...

If I decide to go Medieval with the pig hunt, I will have to hold my ground, gripping a spear to gore the beast at the last possible moment before the razorback tusks me from groin to gizzard. However, I don't suspect that I will do that. I might have in my early 20's but I'm not in my 20's anymore.

I'd like to hunt with a shotgun (with a rifled barrel and sabot slugs) ( It "Trumps" a .30 something at closer ranges. Or with a .308.

LL said...

Is it true that in Texas they now call the old sow razorbacks, "Hillarys"?

LSP said...

I thought you might favor the spear method, but sabots sound neat too.

And yes, you're quite right about the sows. "Jist lookit that Hillary!" is heard a lot in Texas. Smaller pigs are called "Rubios."

LL said...

I'm sure that the old, withered, decrepit pigs are called Bernies. It makes perfect sense because the Hillarys, the Rubios (or Little Marcos as they are lovingly referred to), like the Bernies -- squeal and grunt a lot.

LSP said...

True. The older pigs are called "Bernies." They're no good for food and the other swine tend to eat them. Vicious cannibals.

The Little Marcos, however, taste pretty good. It seems a shame to pull the trigger but it's in everyone's interest. Conservation, if you will.