Wednesday, November 12, 2014

William Hague, the Talking Tory Egg

Everyone knows that Great Britain was once great, ruled a lot of the world and had an enormous Navy, a Queen Empress and statesmen, like Gladstone, or Churchill. Now it has William Hague, the remarkable Talking Tory Egg.

Look! A Talking Egg!

William Hague can talk and move about, even though he is an egg.

Boss Egg

He is also the Conservative leader of the House of Commons and the first egg to hold that position.

Margarine Demon

William Hague once tried to be a Prime Minister, but England wasn't ready to elect a talking egg as its leader. The U.K. chose Tony instead, who is possessed by a Margarine Demon.

Leave the Girl Alone.

The Hague egg has promised to help Jihad savages returning from Syria if "they have good intentions."

No doubt about it, eggs are pretty smart.



LL said...

Note my reply to your post on my blog, but I will reprint here for the sake of legacy.

My sense of the root of his political popularity can be traced to the the British love of pickled eggs. Go into any pub and there will be a large jar of them on the counter. I think that affinity stood him well in his bid for power.

And if anyone disagrees with him, well you will know what happens when you mix half a dozen pickled eggs and three pints of bitters in a human stomach: Chemical warfare of a very high order.

Things like that just happen. I mean, a house elf can find a sock and become Arch Bishop of Canterbury, so...yeah, sometimes it goes like that.

LSP said...

That's Hague for you, the Egg that would be Prime Minister. But wasn't.

I miss pubs.

Adrienne said...

Pickled eggs rule - almost as well as a talking egg. My eggs speak to me every morning. They say, "Eat me."

LSP said...

They're best fresh from the chicken, I think. My neighbors and assorted chicken operation people help out. Fortunate.

As for Hague, what a talking egg.

jenny said...

legacy, pickled eggs, talking eggs, "eat me" eggs, local chicken eggs... I've nothing to add. All major life topics have heretofore been covered.

merely commenting as a pleased witness.

Brig said...

Hah Hague, half cracked. Pickled eggs are a cowboy staple.

jenny said...

wait! I can add: scrambled egg and homemade pimiento cheese omelet.
There's also the egg-brie-crushed walnut omelet.
These eggs should be included in the conversation.

LL said...

There is also the bacon and egg sandwich, but to get there one must BREAK the egg open and any discussion of that may get you arrested for some sort of sedition in the UK.

My favorite British egg solution was an egg poached in boiling water with vinegar. The vinegar helps bind the white of the egg so it doesn't spread throughout the pot. To do it properly, it must be served next to beans on toast with proper bangers and hot mustard.

LSP said...

Bangers, beans on toast, poached egg = delicious.

Brig said...

I'm just going to google bangers because here it doesn't mean what I think you mean...

Jenny, please send me the egg, brie, walnut omelet recipe.